What is appropriate for a funeral?

Question

My husband and I are taking our 17 month old daughter to a catholic funeral. What is appropriate to put her in? Should she wear black? A dress? Or should I just stick to something comfortable for her, because she's going to be forced to sit for so long? Any suggestions here would be great, thank you.

Answer 1

i have had the misfortune to have to attend several funerals lately. i always wear black, because i believe it's the respectful thing to do. however, i notice that more and more people are wearing just about anything they like, including white. i would recommend something comfortable, but perhaps a darker color, so that you get the best of both worlds: a comfortable child who isn't inadvertently offending the grieving family. =)

Answer 2

Black used to be the norm for a Catholic funeral since the focus was more on their physical death. But now we instead celebrate the person entering into eternal life and that person's future resurrection, so it could be more appropriate for her to wear a lighter colored dress. Since she is only 17 months, I would choose something more comfortable for her. Funeral masses can go upwards of 1.5 hours, depending on who is giving the eulogy and if there is Eucharist during the mass, or if it is just a funeral service. You should find out about this stuff from someone that would know, whether there will be mass, or just the funeral service. That would make the difference regarding length. And remember that there might be a burial at a cemetery, so make sure that depending on the weather that she stays warm. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Your baby is only 17 months old and a catholic funeral is meant to be a somber occasion. Personally having dealt with the same situation I didn't have a choice, my ex-husband made me bring our 13 wk old baby boy. A few years later after the birth of our second son we had to attend another family funeral. I flat our refused to bring our boys, out of respect for the family who is grieving but also for the well being of my children. After the first funeral my son was sick and colicky for a week. At such a tender age they can't possibly understand why everyone is grieving. Best to not expose her to it until she can comprehend why people are sad and crying. Should you chose to expose your daughter to it dress her in something that is comfortable for her and do excuse yourself if you notice her becomming fussy (and she will)
Take care

Answer 4

Unless you are family I would suggest you hire a babysitter. Catholic services are LONG. Between the mass, funeral, and get together after ward it will be at least three hours. That is too long to expect a toddler to still still and be quiet. The service is to mourn and remember the decedent. At my uncles funeral there was a child behind me that did not behave well. All I can remember is her screaming and fussing during the whole service. It was not her fault. It was the parents. I was pissed. That was my last memory of my uncle. Ruined. Maybe you could compromise and just take her to the get together after wards when she would not be expected to be quiet. I know this is not going to be very popular answer but I thought you should hear it.

Answer 5

Black is not expected for a small child, even if he/she is one of the chief mourners. If you want to dress her up, in black or in a church dress, go ahead, but make it something comfortable for her, so she will not squirm or cry through the funeral because of her clothes. Take the weather into account, too, if it is going to be hot and stuffy in the church, and cold outside, dress her in layers, so you can take things off, or put them on, as needed, without a fuss or a scene.
If you can find a little pants outfit that is a little dressy, great. Darker or subdued colors would be respectful.

Answer 6

I don't think a 17 month old can make too much of an offensive fashion statement at a funeral. If it's going to be cold outside, dress her for comfort, if not, probably something black or grey, even better if it's comfortable also. :]

Answer 7

I just attended a Catholic funeral two weeks ago. Very few wore black. No one is going to care how your baby is dressed. If it's at all possible I would hire a sitter for your little one. It will be a long service and you'll have a hard time keeping her quite. Sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

If the person the funeral is for is a reletive such as a mother grandmother uncle brother type thing then she should wear black if this is a friend then she could wear any dark color such as green blue black maroon. bright colors like yellow white red gold should be advoided as far as having to wear a dress most kids handle these well it's us parents that go nuts because the dress dosent stay where we would like it. so you may want to go for somthing comfortable and it can still be dressy in slacks and a nice top. lastly have a backup plan if she gets cranky then excuse yourself . everyone will understand.
sorry for your loss.

Answer 9

Go with something comfortable but that looks nice. Black would certainly not be expected for a 17 month old.

Answer 10

It is acceptable to wear something other than black to funeral. When my husband and I lost a baby back in Aug we didn't care what people wore. We just appreciated that they came. As for small children dress them in something comfortable and take some "Silent" toys, like a doll, books, etc for her to play with, or maybe some mess free markers and the special paper for her to scribble on.