A little bit worried about sex drive?

Question

Im a college student...who loves women. I used to be infatuated with many women, and id do like anything to get girls....always checking them out and everything, non stop thinking about sex. now after recent experiences, after getting some sex and regular action here and there, and lots of thinking...i realized how easy girls can really be, and it has distorted my vision of how special girls really are...and im worried i wont be able to fall in love for a long time at least. i dont think that its a good thing, though its what most guys want, to think nothing of women and have sex with no attatchments, but its depressing. i guess what im looking for is someone to pep talk me and tell me theres someone out there special worth giving myself up for, and dedicating myself to. because the way i see it right now is what really draws us to the opposite sex is SEX itself, so its going to be hard for me to find someone i need, if i dont really need them to begin with. thank you for reading

Answer 1

Interesting question. You're a lot like me. The only thing I can say is that you fall in love with a person you respect and admire, and only you can determine what those qualities might be. In my late 20's and early 30's I found a lot of stunningly beautiful women who refused to sleep around, and only had sex in committed relationships. That's what I respected and had wonderful relationships before I got married. There are other guys who could care less if the girl banged guys on the first date. A good buddy dated a girl for 6 months who blew him 2 hours after meeting him. Just didn't matter to him.

On the other hand, most of those guys are still single and still having sex with random women. And they talk quite disparagingly about them behind their backs. So who knows? There are women out there that you can fall in love with, it just won't be one of these random sluts.

Answer 2

First of all,having sex with just anyone is dangerous,even when useing a condom.If all the girls you are having sex with are "easy" then you are looking in the wrong places.There is someone out there for everyone and falling in love just seems to happen.You will not know it until it does happen,but it will eventually.But never give yourself up as you stated.A lasting relationship has to be 50/50.You have to listen,not just to the conversation at hand,but listen to the heart,yours and hers.You need to hear the things that do not come from sound,but from movement,the way she talks to you,her needs and what you feel you can give her.Look into her eyes and you will know if she is sincere,if she cares about YOU.Will she hold your hand and walk with you in public or just when you are alone?Does she remember special dates in time and do you?Is she materialistic or is a day at the beach satisfying?If you fill out a questionaire on a dating site are you honest about it?It isnt all about sex,its about sharing time,quality time.Hang in there,it will all happen at just the most unassuming moment and you will know.Good luck.

Answer 3

dont think that way there is someone that is worth being with you just havent found the right one yet. maybe your not looking for the right girl and just looking at the party ones right now try looking else were she will come along. life and relationships are more than just sex its loving the person not wanting to be without them cant take your eyes off them being able to talk to them about anything. you want someone that can be a best friend and a soulmate at the same time not someone to just have sex with then never really see again. that will just cause emotional stress and you will never see a girl in the right way again. the way i see it is when you find the right one you will feel great because they will want to have sex when they love you not the first night they meet you. when you are in love its a great feeling i have heard and you dont want to keep doing this to your self so get out there and look differently now. best of luck.

Answer 4

Not all girls are that easy. Maybe you need to start trying to be friends with some girls first. I know it's hard, because we are driven by sex, especially men. Sex feels good, but sex with love and friendship is amazing!!! Don't loose hope. It may take a while, but believe me, it will all be worth it in the end!

Answer 5

Yes there is someone out there that you will want to guard, protect shelter and have her mother you children, you will want to come home to her every night because she will always have the power to turn your head, there will be something in her eyes in her walk in voice that will never fail to get your attention.
at some point every "bad" guy meets what I call his golden goddess (not a blonde just a women who shines) the only problem is she will also be the type of women who will want nothing to do with the guy you have been.
she will not mind your past but will not want to ever see that man or meet him she can forgive but it has to be gone, as in not apart of who you are in the now.
don't regret her don't live with someone who pales to her because it will not be good.
I have added a link to a book that is a big help to men addicted to sex. it helps put things into perspective.
hope this helps you in the long run.

Answer 6

im younger than you are but im kinda going through the same thing..i used to fall in love really easily and ive had many gfs and loved all of them, but when i actually gave a girl a favor, i started changing my view like you said i started thinking girls were really easy to get so i started to hook up with them and let them do me a favor..thats all i really do now just play around and i havent had a "real" relationship in over 4 months...ive also lost my "sweetness" that i used to give girls now i flirt in a different and worse way..im going through the same thing as you are so i dont really have any advice to give you but maybe you can try and start a relationship and see how it goes..well good luck

Answer 7

You are probably over-thinking things and transfering your worries in other areas, school, studies to girls. That is called transference. The world has not changed, but you have. You probably are not ready for a serious relationship yet. Give it time, it will find you when you least expect it. It always does.

Answer 8

well did it ever occur to you that to those girls that's been with you thinks of you the same way ? like you're nothing but a person they can get off too till they find the right marrying-type guy ? don't get offended but just because you have suddenly gotten this distorted of view of women doesn'e mean they don't think of you the same way . They might think of you as someone not worth seriously getting in a relationship with . One day you will find the woman that will change your views again , just hope that you have no monsters in your closet that will scare her away .....

Answer 9

my friend use to feel the same way - but he found his soul mate and realized that the wait is worth it.... the more u wait and have to "suffer" with plain old sex, the more meaningful a real relationship ends up being... i'm not saying that u shud have sex nonstop or something, but that u shud simply go with the flow.... someone is there for u... wait for it....

Answer 10

oh boy....ok, to give you a short version of what i think, i believe that you are talking about soul mates. i have found mine and know a LOT about this area....there most DEFINITELY is someone who's wonderful and everything that you are looking for out there, you just have to find her. i would tell you more, but i don't think that i'll have room. if you want to talk more about this, want more advice, anything, please feel free to email me at [e-mail]....