okay so i have been friends with this guy for about a year now. we just recently started dating and we have relaly grown to like eachother. we have been"dating" for about a month and we sat down recently to have a conversation about what we are. I asked him what we are and he didn't know..I then said 'well what do yo uwant?" he said 'well eventually i want to be your boyfriend and you be my girlfriend and for us to be in an exclusive relationship. but not right now though, because i'm not ready."
this statement confused me because i don't understand how someone can not be "ready"... is he just pulling my chain and leading me on or is he really 'not ready"... i really like him.
2007-03-08 11:58:26 · 10 answers · asked by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you like him enough to wait for him to be ready, then that should be enough. there are lots of reasons why someone could not be "ready" ...for example, has he just gotten out of any relationships with someone else that he has liked? because if so, then he may need some time to recover from that first. he also could just Not want to Commit.. but even though he is not a committer, he sounds like he wants to work on that with you.. if you'll give him a try. maybe he just plain doesn't want the pressure of having a girlfriend.. it is A Lot to deal with if you think about it. but the main reason i think that he said this, is you guys have been friends for about a year right? probably really good friends.... so this sounds just like what happened with my cousin.. and what is most likely happening is he Doesn't want to Lose you.. you mean to much to him and your friendship means too much. he knows that if you become boyfriend and girlfriend and something happens and you break up, then he could lose you forever and all you've had. i think this is the reason.. he just values your friendship so much that he doesn't want to put it in jeopardy. if he says that he wants to be your boyfriend eventually, that is a good sign though and you should wait it out if you really like him. sometimes the best things are worth wating for!!! good luck and best wishes to ya! :)
2007-03-08 12:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by coolio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been friends for a long time than I would assume that he wouldn't lie about something like that. He probably really isn't ready to be in an exclusive relationship with anyone. You should be glad that he would tell you the truth instead of leading you on just to get something from you. Give him time. That's not to say that you can't go out with other people. You can still go out on dates with other people. And what do you mean "dating?" Either you went out for a romantic night or you didn't. It's good that you asked him about it. Now you have to accept his answer.
2007-03-08 20:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's definitely not ready for a long relationship. He's unsure of keeping a commitment with anyone at this stage. There could a very good reason. Maybe personal or financial.
Just been there for him and having a very friendly relationship with someone you like is the best part of getting to know each other intimately . Did you ever see that movie My best Friends Getting Married. ( or was it wedding).Well it may be like that, but later you could be the girl getting married. Who knows keep close. Been friends first is the next step to commitment. hang in there Good luck
2007-03-08 20:10:14 · answer #3 · answered by aotea s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to keep his mind able to be open to other women, not saying he is going to cheat on you, but if I said something like that, it would be because I didnt want to get too serious if there was another person in my life that might become more to me than a friend. And I am not a cheater and I dont like getting involved unless I am certain its what I want. Just give him space, and let him think.
Dont ever mention it again to him, ever, let him mention it to you, in the mean time if there is someone you might be interested in, start a bond with them. Technically you two are just dating, which means you can see other people. I dont feel that way, but this chick I was dating did feel that way obviously because she went out with someone else.
Which to me says, she wasnt interested in me to begin with, so **** it. Sorry its kind of a sore subject, luckily the girl does mean a lot to me and we will remain friends.
2007-03-08 20:05:48 · answer #4 · answered by David K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reluctance to make a commitment is a common thing with young men. They have not made their mark in society, and still have a need for freedom of movement. Stick with him, and give him some room. Keep the lead loose, and he'll be happy. Then he will come to you. Just be patient, he doesn't know who he is yet.
2007-03-08 20:06:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ages would help,but i would go with pulling the chain,show me a guy who doesnt want to get it on with a woman he really likes,not many i say.
2007-03-08 20:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has something going on and doesnt have the time. or maybe just as he said, he just isnt ready to jump into a relationship just yet.
2007-03-08 20:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by karate girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does not know he just having fun. Let the relationship go on and then later he will tell you
2007-03-08 20:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would think that he really isn't ready if he said that he want to be your boyfriend and all that i would think he would be telling the truth
2007-03-08 20:04:13 · answer #9 · answered by G McGee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOME GUYS JUST NEED TIME HE SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THEM HE IS PROBABLY WANTING TO ESTABLISH LOVE BEFORE HE DATES YOU AND BE WITH YOU A WHILE TO MAKE SURE YOU WILL STICK BY HIM AND BE FAITHFUL.
2007-03-08 20:05:53 · answer #10 · answered by Lauren D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋