My daughter gave birth to a son and asked for me to stay 2 wks to help out. I travelled 6 hours, visited her in hospital for a week and after 2 days at home, sin exploded and accused me of hovering over him and the baby! I thot I was enjoying the baby with him and never suspected I was bothering him, so I apologized and decided to come back home. I am motified, upset and really don't ever want to speak to him again. What do I do?
2007-03-08 11:34:57 · 8 answers · asked by fuzzynubes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh sweetheart....of course you're feeling hurt right now & it's only understandable you will.....You were only trying to be a good mum by being there & trying to be accessable for them both.......I'm sure your S-i-L feels like a giant sized bastard right now....everything has gotten to you all. Although a new baby is a lovely moment it's also filled with so much stress. You're an old hand at this & perhaps your S-i L felt somehow that you were taking over.....I'm not saying you were....but perhaps in his lack of knowledge felt somehow shown up by you.....You say he said you were "hovering" that to me indicates that he was nervous having you around......his fault is that he allowed all this to mount up to the point of explosion. I'm sure he regrets it big time....give it a little while then just call & ask if everything's ok.....all these little hiccups once gotten through are what make or break a family.....one day I'm sure you'll all look back at this & have a good laugh about it.........sometimes what we mums see as helping the kids & partners see as interfering....it's hard to strike a balance sometimes isn't it? Back off a bit & explain you're always here if they need you at all. They're big people now....let them find out stuff by themselves....
BTW Congrats on being a nana....
2007-03-08 13:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just met a father with a lot of responsibility on his shoulders and evidently he aired it on you. You are the elder and need to act like it. Forgive him and go on with loving him, your daughter and your new grandson. Think of it this way, he may not have been fortunate enough to have a caring mother like you and did not know how to handle all the extra attention that you were giving. He thought you didn't think he could handle anything and all you wanted to do was make everything great for him and your new grandson and especially your daughter. It was a total misunderstanding. New fathers want to cry and have a nervous breakdown just like new mothers do sometimes. A child that is yours and that you are responsible for is a powerful reality. Put a little love in your heart mom. He loves you. He just doesn't understand how wonderful you are yet.
2007-03-08 12:00:25 · answer #2 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad, I can only suggest the three of you get together and work out somehthing that not only will suit all of you but more importantly, will benefit the infant. My sons grew up not having grandparents due to the fact both my parents and my ex wifes parents were deceased. The love of a grandparent, especially a granny, is something very different to parental love, it's unique and i have nothing but fond glowing memories of my granny, fish and chips, saturday afternoon wrestling on the tv, lavender, cakes, hot chocolate with real chocolate flakes etc etc.. I hope you resolve this, good luck to you all and congrats to all the family/ x
2007-03-08 11:47:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a babys born, especially the first, parents get a bit paranoid, and want the baby to themselves, id let the situation cool down for a while, then tell your daughter you were only trying to help, and hopefully it will resolve itself with time
2007-03-08 20:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until air has cooled and talk to them both, explain how you was made to feel with the way you was spoken to, then explain you love them dearly and only want the best for them and want to provide as much help as you can.
Be as calm as you can when you speak to them and tell him your sorry if you made him feel that way
2007-03-08 12:09:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were both overtired. If you never speak to him again you risk falling out with your daughter.
As the older and wiser one let the incident pass, water under the bridge.
2007-03-08 11:39:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
EGOs!!! He feels threatened by you. Take it easy. Spend time getting to know him, then him with your daughter and then them as a family unit. All of you need to adjust.
2007-03-08 11:49:41 · answer #7 · answered by orange07974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hormones at this time make us behave and say things we don't mean....tired also. Chat to her.......
2007-03-09 20:25:09 · answer #8 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋