I have a friend who is younger than I am by like two years. Every single weekend or whenever I am with her, she always asks me to spend the night with her. I never want to because her family smokes like crazy!! So, I end up making excses and lying to her about why I cant. I am so sick of telling her so many excuses about not staying. But I dont wanna hurt her feelings if I do tell her the truth, because it's not her fault that I dont wanna stay over it's just everytime when I come home from her house, I have to take like 12 showers just to get the smell out. I know it may sound crazy but it's the truth. And I feel so horrible and guilty when I tell her excuses. I am the only friend that she has that ever does stuff with her like hang out. That's why I feel so horrible. I still wanna be friends with her. but what should I do about this situation? PLEASE HELP
2007-03-08 11:27:24 · 8 answers · asked by confused!!!!! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Come on...we live in a society that is obcessed with healthy living...tell her the TRUTH! You don't smoke and you can't tolerate being around so much. You enjoy your time with her and you can't imagine how she lives with so much smoke around all the time..it is unhealthy. I can't imagine how she could NOT understand. BE sure you tell her you don't want to hurt her feelings but honestly..it would hurt worse for her to find out you have been lying to her. Let the truth set you free! Best wishes and God bless!
2007-03-08 11:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by Godsent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from and understand what you mean. I smoke and I know that they just don't understand where you are coming from. People who smoke cannot smell it like everyone else can. I quit for almost two months once, and I could not STAND the smell that was on everyone I knew who still smoked. You just have to explain to your friend the truth. She will understand. She will likely confront her parents about the situation. It will likely be an enlightening bit of truth for them, and they will feel bad that their habit is keeping their daughters friends away. Although, they are addicted and are comfortable smoking in their own house. ITell your friend that she is welcome at your house anytime, but you cannot stand to go to hers. A good idea is to write a letter to her parents and mail it to them. Be nice and understanding in the letter. This way you don't have to confront them, and they get the message. If you want, write in the letter that their daughter has problems with friends at school because of the smell on her clothes. Lie a little bit about how bad its affecting their daughters relationship and social life. They will have no choice but to reassess their bad habit, and if they aren't selfish, they will find a way to either smoke outside, or quit all-together.
2007-03-08 19:38:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem my friend is two yrs younger than i am and he wanted my to stay nights over to but his dad is a drinker and a smoker so i never wanted to. so i lied to him until i decided to tell him the truth he understood. U should tell ur friend the truth she will understand.
2007-03-08 19:34:31 · answer #3 · answered by hotpocket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want to stay to her place then why don't you ask her to come over to your place and tell her why you don't want to stay in her place just because your having a problem with smoking cigarette and i hate smell cigarette too. tell the truth that you hate smell some cigarette around you so instead you go to her place, if she want to spend time with you then ask her to spend time to your place. there's nothing wrong with that if you tell the truth hope she understand you.
2007-03-08 19:37:59 · answer #4 · answered by luvu4ever14344 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her the truth and make other arrangements to spend time with her that doesnt envolve her house or parents maybe go over to your place i know how you feel i moved back into my parents house and they both smoke and i dont and it makes me sick and im embarresed when i go out i dont want to smell
2007-03-08 19:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by liza m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not express your concerns to your parents and ask if this friend can stay at your house.
Oh and next time your friend asks you to stay over be honest but be diplomatic. Let them know that you would love to but that the smoke bothers you and you have allergies to it.
2007-03-08 19:34:03 · answer #6 · answered by That_ blue_ eyed_ Irish_ lass 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to have her stay or come over your house. Or even sit her down and tell her "don't get mad". And then tell her what's on your mind. If she's a true friend she'll understand.
2007-03-08 19:33:59 · answer #7 · answered by latina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her u don't like smokers ... or being around them for too long ... say ur sry ... n see if she maybe wants to stay at ur place
2007-03-08 19:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by starxxgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋