his mom lives with him and she doesn't have a husband or boyfriend, also he is the only son. he feels bad leaving her and also she makes him feel guily about marriage.
2007-03-08 11:11:46 · 24 answers · asked by 237kk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
ps.... his mom told him she is gonna commit suicide if he marries me and other things... scares him, would it scare you???
also he gets mad when i tell him, that i think, we will never marry.
he makes plans about the house and kids and everything.... just that he is waiting for his MOOOOMMMMMMM...
2007-03-08 11:23:19 · update #1
well unless she is old this is never going to end anytime soon! so unless you plan on waiting till she is gone then sorry honey you need to move on! you just need to tell him that you feel what he is doing is honorable but it is also sad that he is willing to give up his life and happiness to keep his mother happy and that its also sad that his mother would want this for him!She should realize that if she does not encourage him to go find a life and happiness that one day he will be alone and its not like once you guys are married you plan on moving right? though i can tell you even if you guys get married plan on her being over a lot if not just moving in so again are you ready to have a three way marriage(you,him and his mom)? This situation can only work out one way and in the end his mom wins because she will either make it so he wont leave or so that she is so involved with your life after you guys marry that you will be on here asking us what to do about her all ways being over and telling you what to do! think it over i understand you love him but it does not sound like he is ready or willing to put you first like you should be and don't you deserve to be number one!?!
even with the new information you just gave he is talking the talk of a dreamer not a doer! he tells you what you want to hear so you wont move on but actions speak louder then words and as for his mother telling you she will kill her self if he marries you?!?! believe me if he does it will be you who wants to end it all!! The writing is on the wall you see it right in front of you now you just have to decide if you are willing to do what in your head you know will be good for you and your life in the long run! Unless your plan for a marriage is to make it unhappy with a mother in law you hate and a husband who will never put you before her then go for it but if not! this is that time people talk about when you have the doubt you hear the bell going off in your head telling you don't do this! this is your chance not to end up like a lot of people 5 years from now divorced saying i wish i would have listened to my gut i knew he would never change and now here i am! yes it will hurt yes you will be sad but you will go on you will find someone else and you will be OK! you deserve to be loved and married to someone who has you and the family you will create first before anyone that does not mean not including their families but it does mean realizing who comes first! and honey for him you don't!
2007-03-08 11:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what dear, its never going to happen. This situation is like the guy who is having an affair and has a million excuses why he cannot leave his wife...well in this case, he makes excuses that he cannot leave his mother. So its up to you. I think you have to give him an ultimatum and if he gives you the same old excuses about his Mother, then tell him it is over and you have to move on.
Tell him you love him, but you cannot wait forever and you want to marry and have a family. He may just change his mind and come running back to you with a ring and a proposal. His mother is definitely a detriment in any relationship he has, and if you end it with him and he finds someone else, the same pattern will continue. She is very controlling and selfish and will make any one miserable who enters the domain of her and her son.
If you make a decision to end it...don't look back, look forward because there will be someone in your future who will love you and be your love for a lifetime. Best of Luck whatever you decide.
2007-03-08 12:41:52 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want a mama's boy. Nothing good can come from this, find someone new.
He isn't going to change...ever. The worse thing that can happen is for you to pressure him, he give in, you get married, and then he WILL change back. That is not something that might happen, but will.
Just move on, there are plenty of better men out there that willl love you for you.
2007-03-08 11:18:47 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am with everyone else. Get out now. I have been married for 14 years to a mommas boy. He was an only child to a divorced mom who had 2 children die as toddlers before him. I can tell you it has caused alot of damage in my marriage because his mom always comes first and he always takes her side over myself and our children. Run girl and find yourself a real man who understands that a man leaves his mother and clings to his wife.
2007-03-08 14:15:50 · answer #4 · answered by Ladybugs77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be a jerk, but here's a big healthy dose of reality. Move on. It's never going to happen. He's talking about these things with you because that's what you want to hear. He won't leave her unless she approves of the girl, and unfortunately, it seems like she doesn't approve of you.
You should cut your losses, and while it will hurt move on and find someone who does love you and wants to be with you for real.
2007-03-08 13:15:28 · answer #5 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always say that if I could go back to when I was 18 when I started dating my husband, before I fell in love, the only thing I would say to myself would be "RUN" and I would scream it in my ear. And my MIL is not anything like yours sounds to be.
Get out of this relationship now, she will control you until the day she dies and you know what they say, only the good die young, b'itches live forever.
2007-03-08 11:46:19 · answer #6 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would YOU want to marry this guy? Do you think he would make a good companion? Do you think he will change just because you marry him? You are asking the wrong questions.
2007-03-08 15:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like mommy needs to let the baby off the titty and move on.....She isn't going to comit suicide and if she says it again I would have her commited and get married while she is in her pretty white jacket..MOMMAS CRAZY!!!
2007-03-08 11:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by Soon2BMrsCarlson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom is manipulating him and he is letting her do it. He needs to **** or get off the pot. If he continues to feel the way he does you might have to start looking elsewhere.
2007-03-08 11:55:49 · answer #9 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh, if he would marry you your life will be hell!!!!! Run, do not pass Go...Run Girl Run!!! As fast as you can......imagine having to pick out your marital bed with your mother-in-law right there with you; imagine every holiday, having to spend it with her and doing it her way; imagine every time the phone rings or the doorbell rings and it's her on the other side/end....RUN
2007-03-08 11:28:22 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋