Who is a better parent-- and older one or a younger one?

Question

I have been told a few times by younger women that they think that are a better parent than older women, because they feel they can chase the child around and also they can relate to the child and be a friend.

I always think to me this doesn't make sense, because just because a person is in their 30s or 40s it doesn't make them weak physically. Also, a child doesn't need a friend, they need a parent. Also, older parents can generally are more secure financially which can promote health in their children. Older parents also generally have more wisdom and know what are good choices in the world.

What do you think?

Answer 1

Honestly I have seen younger ppl more mature than older woman. Example: My god-daughter acted more mature that my husband last weekend. Older woman more times than not will have better advise and wisdom due to experience. But new ideas are always welcomed. I think it is a combined effort. Not everyone is perfect!

Answer 2

I don't think there is any "better parent" I think that a young mother and father will make many mistakes and therefore the child will typically have to be more independent and kinda pick up things that he/she wants his folks to do better.

Where as an older parent typically has more patience and tends to realize just how young the babies/children really are and babies them a lot more and so when the child is put out on thier own they are kinda lost because they have typically been babied thier whole life.

I'm taking my answer from my own experience and people I have known.

My husband was raised by very young parents and he is such an amazing worker and very well rounded. Although he is very angry with his parents for mistakes they made
I was raised by older parents and I was very babied..while I wasn't spoiled with things I was spoiled. I love my parents so so much and consider my dad my best friend. But I feel that I needed to be pushed a bit more. I have also had many friends that had older parents and they were very good kids until they were put out on there own now they are on drugs or turning to things they shouldn't. Its quite scary. I am now 19 and a mother of 3 I'm hoping that my children will not grow up angry with me because of mistakes I may make. But I think that a young mother is probably good for a child in the long run.

Answer 3

It doesn't have anything to do with chronological age. It has to do with maturity. I have met some great younger mothers and some equally great older mothers. Just as I have met terrible mothers both young and old. Being secure financially does help but isn't a factor in which is the better mother. Kids have basic needs that doesn't necessarily include all the frills that most parents think that their kids need. My kids had/have the basics and a few non-basics (nothing overboard) but the most of all they have my unconditional love! As babies I never had all the fancy stuff for them, I didn't even have a changing table or diaper pail. They got changed either on the bed or couch and the dirty diaper got tossed in the trash. That doesn't mean I was a terrible mother. I feel like I am a great mother. I give my kids love , I play with them, I do arts and crafts with them, I protect them, I discipline them when needed, and I am here when they need me. I agree with the fact (to a certain extent) that the child needs a parent, not just another friend. But I always want my kids to know that I am here to listen non judgmentally to them when they need it. I feel that's being a friend to them (in a way). All in all, it's not age that makes a good parent it's the level of maturity. Sometimes that does come with age, sometimes that comes with life experience. Sometimes it's an innate character of the person.

Answer 4

There are many good parents at young and older ages. There are many bad parents at young and older ages. Age really doesn't factor into how well you will parent.

The things that I do believe factor in are:

--Financial Stability. Yes, a younger parent can be financially secure. Yes, more older parents are financially secure but there are still many out there who are not.

--Maturity. Yes, a younger parent can be mature.

--The ability to accept full responsibility not only for their actions but their children's actions as well. Older and younger parents can both do this.

The list goes on and on. This is why I do not feel a "good" parent cannot be defined by age. No parent is "better" based merely upon their age. The younger women you talk to are wrong if they feel they are better parents based on their age. Just as an older parent would if they were to do this.

I'm a younger parent but I do not feel I am a better parent then an older one. I do, however, feel that I'm not worse then an older parent. I take pride in my ability to parent my boys. One thing I always remember hearing from my mom [that I will continue believing until the day I die] is parents aren't there to be necessarily liked or befriend their child. They are there to instill good morals in order to create a great adult.

Please do not base your opinion on young mothers over what you've heard from just a few.

Answer 5

I dont think there is a specific age that can define you as a "good parent" or "bad parent". It all depends on whether the person is psychologically ready to have a child. I dont think financial readiness is even a factor. I know 40 year old mothers who have lots of money, swear at there kids and put them down... where at the same time- I see 20 year old mothers with little money who take there children everywhere with them and attend "mommy and me" classes at the Y' each week. Sometimes it is the other way around. I sometimes see 20 year old mothers dumping their children on there parents and going out and partying every nite. People can argue it both ways but I think it all depends on the person. Everyone is wired different ways and some people are naturally mature and wise while others...just never grow up. Some take the time to read books on parenting while others just dont care. It all depends on the person.

Answer 6

How old you are does not make you a good or bad parent. It is what you do that makes you a good parent. Being able to chase around your kids and keep up is good but a 40 yr old could be better at that than a 20yr old. But then again a 20 yr old could be better off fiancally than a 40 yr old. But it matters that you give the child love and teach them what is wrong and right. Are there for them when they need you. Make your child feel secure. You punish them when they do wrong and praise them when they are good. It doesn't matter how old you are it matters what you can give the child. A child doesn't need you to be their friend there are many other children out there that will be your childs friend, be a parent to the child, that is what they need.

Answer 7

Being able to run around and "be a friend" doesn't make anyone a better parent. Age doesn't have anything to do with a person's ability to be a parent. What you need is time, energy, patience, lots of laughter and lots more love. I know parents that are younger, and older than I am...some are better, some...well, we all have our moments. Parenting is about those moments....and the decisions we make about what is right and wrong to teach our kids. If every over 35 parent were good and all 20 somethings were bad, well, I guess there would be laws about it by now!! Have fun.

Answer 8

Yes younger parents may be better equipped to keep up with the physical demands of a child (but those of us in their 30s even 40s aren't rickety YET). I am 36 now, and I KNOW that I have have far more patience now with as many as I have than I EVER had when I was 24 and had just 2. Also I am better at time-handling and organizing and I have more life-experience behind me to share with my kids...just my opinion...And I firmly believe that it is not my place to be any of my kids best friend...my job is to teach them love and respect and morals...which I think some younger people DON'T take the time to do...

Answer 9

I do agree with you on a child needs a parent--not a friend.
I was an older parent--my daughter a younger parent. I cannot say that I was better then my daughter.--but I taught her well. lol I lean more toward an older parent. Younger parents sometimes are jealous of the child/children. The parent sometimes feel that they need some of that attention themselves.
I think it sometimes depends on the person/parent. and not the age. Good question.

Answer 10

it doesn't depend on the age but the person you cannot group people into being better parents for being black or white or tall or thin and i think this comparison of old and young is the same i have seen wonderful young mothers and wonderful old and young are not always more energetic my mother had me when she was 29 yrs old and she was always by far the most active out of the parents in my grade also playing volleyball and baseball my whole life even still now and i don;t think that all older people are more financially stable i am on the younger end of the spectrum and expecting my second son and we are finacially stable and i am a stay at home mother and have one brillant well behaved boy i don;t relate to my son as friend nore do i ever plan to i am his mother and thats what i will always be it is my job to make sure he grows up to be a great well rounded sucessful person whether he hates me at points or not ( i am sure it will happen) i think out there at every age there are people willing to devote their lives to their children and there are people who will add a child into their lives and make it comfortable i really wish people would stop asking this question i think usually people are rude to one another one way or the other and someone constantly feels like they are being critisized

Answer 11

Younger parents have more energy, but as you say, they need a parent, not a friend. Too many young parents tend to do this and the kids don't get taught what they are supposed to and end up terrors in school. They also don't have the patients. How many older parents have you seen get arrested for shaken baby syndrome?
There are benefits to both, but older parents that are in decent health, I would consider better over all. They know what the world is like and have the experience to teach and develope their child properly.