Why do parents rule with guilt?

Question

Even after we have grown up and have our own adult lives, spouses and kids, our parents can say one sentence and make us feel 12 again. When do you draw the line with parental guilt? How often do you try to be the 'adult' with your parent before you say 'if you can't give me the same respect back then fu** this!' I've extended the 'olive' branch twice with my father and stepmom but still they refuse to speak with me, all because I asked if they confused the dates of my daughters birthday when I hadn't heard from them on her actual b-day, they freaked and insulted me and told me off, I said 'you misunderstand I just didn't know if you might have confused the day' they said 'no you are wrong'. I am not wrong, but I am totally confused, frustrated and tired of trying to fix this, as of today I have sent 3 emails explaining that I had never meant for it to be taken that way and am sorry they did so, but still no reply.....what would you do??? By the way I email because one is deaf.

Answer 1

As it was said about somethign else entirely "Just because they can." They do it because it is the easiest way to manipulate. Not only parents use guilt to manipulate.

You had done everything that is normally expected out of a person to resolve a misunderstanding. I don't think you should do anything else. Just wait for their reply. If no reply - assume it is resolved, they accepted what you have said.
I don't think you need to try to "fix" this. More you feel you need to fix it, more they will make you try harder.
On the other hand, if you expect that they will come out and apologize for the misunderstanding - no they won't, just let it go.

Answer 2

They maybe shouldn't. That said; parents many times do not feel that it will help to share tid bits about their own personal experiences for whatever reason.