Why do you think small things bother children?

Question

In other words, why did nature make children so delicate that small seemingly insignificant matters can have negative impacts making them depressed even years later?

Answer 1

It's that brain. We've specialized so far in terms of intelligence that it takes literally *decades* for us to fully grow up and become self-sufficient, ok? Are you with me so far?

Good....because the real answer is at once *way* simpler than this and way more complicated.

Small things bother children....because children *themselves* are small people and *know it*. You've heard of Shaken Baby Syndrome? Wherein a Baby gets shaken to the point of taking somewhat severe brain and upper spinal cord damage, on a par with a concussion?

Ok then. It really is that simple. Your average adult human is going to be on average two to three *times* bigger than the average pre-tween child (whose age is still in the single digits). That size difference really *really* does matter beyond infancy, young kids really don't have the body mass or the muscle strength usually to deal with adults who *do* see fit to be violent and abusive....

so you can imagine, right, how scary some of these anti-abduction commercials are to a kid? They are smart enough to know about scale on an intuitive level, in terms of "their own size" versus "grown up size", and the thought of being attacked and bodily carried off by someone "grown up sized" can be terrifying.

And all of this is in place *before* anything bad happens. Which is where it all gets complicated. Going back to that big honking *brain* again. Neurological studies are proving over and over again that the brain is a highly resilient, "plastic" sort of organ, meaning in its own way it is wired to survive and to overcome short-term damage and obstacles, *especially* in early childhood.

So....what happens a lot of times, when young kids are physically abused (and yes, I am counting sexual abuse and molestation as physical since it is a power issue and a bodily attack), is that the *memory* of the abuse doesn't get processed correctly, if at all. The kid mentally "goes away" or dissociates in a reflexive, instinctive attempt to survive and overcome because that is what their brain is *wired* to do at the moment.

Which is all well and good....except that these poorly-processed memories are *very* emotional still for the kids. Which means that their brains still hold on to them, as incomplete or incoherent as they are. This in turn leads to the kids growing up with emotional problems like depression, cutting, hyperactivity, and so on....

And, once puberty hits and the brain starts to ready itself for the last growth and refinement it needs for adulthood, it can make the emotional problems that are there worse (hormones, hello?) as well as make flashbacks and post-traumatic stress symptoms more likely (long story short, the stress hormone of the brain, cortisol, is there in elevated levels, because it helps *mark* neurons as containing "emotionally important" data, in addition to being there as a by-product of chronic stress).

And this is just the really obvious, *extreme* stuff that would leave marks on *anyone* psychologically at *any age*. This is the same stuff that would lead to PTSD in adults....

But the really nasty part is....similar but less obvious things can happen with more ordinary "bad things" happening in childhood. Why? Because the young child *is* more likely to dissociate....which makes the memory incomplete, and more emotional than usual.

That combination is what is so damaging even later in life. The extra emotional marking makes it so that the memory is more persistent....and the incomplete recording of it *leaves out the Scale information* that normally is there at a conscious level.

So that, when the adult remembers, finally, what happened.....the scale is *unchanged* in the original memory. The person having a flashback to young childhood literally *feels that small and vulnerable* during that flashback, and this is likely true in less extreme circumstances as well.

So yeah, it isn't just the emotion....it is that the physics of the memory are *accurate*....*For Back Then* when the person really was that small and weak. Which makes recall in the here and now threatening as it becomes an experience in *shrinking* or becoming less powerful. This is really and especially a problem with guys, by the way.....

I hope this is helpful....and thanks for your time! ^_^

Answer 2

Young children are very egocentric, they really believe that the whole wold revolves around them. When a parent or other adult that the child must rely on lets them down in some way it changes how the child views the world. If the way the child was let down was severe or cronic than a negitive view of the world is development. This type of imprinted patern is difficult to change latter on in life. A child that grow up believing that they are unable to control thier world is developing a strong bases for depression later in life. Though young are helpless in numerous ways, they percieve their world as in under their control. example- many children believe that if they close thier eyes then YOU can't see them because they can not see themselves.

Answer 3

I can think of a few things. First, children are designed to be highly sensitive to environment as nature's way of predisposing them to learn quickly and thoroughly about the world around them to survive. Second, children are taken care of by adults and so become very egocentric until they are required to do more and more on their own and realize that it's less and less all about them. Third, over time experiences tend to desensitize a person until most older adults barely recognize the little things. However, as a child each little thing is fresh and therefore imprints in your memory as important and profound. Sometimes we can remember strong feelings over things experienced as a child that our current logical mind realizes is not such a big deal...but the feelings are still there because back then it was and the feelings are part of the memory.

Answer 4

Children are very fragile at a young age. There are multiple answers and reasons for this question. But it is mainly focused on how children are raised. If you teach them to be strong and never get disheartened when they grow up, just because they have one minor failure doesn't mean their life is going to be over, then that would be a good prevention of this. To prevent this even more, talk to the child about the problem. Communication is the key.

Answer 5

The reason things get to -people when they are kids is that is when their brains are developing. If the brain develops in a bad environment, that brain will always be challenged.

Answer 6

some women human beings like furry adult males because they assume they have extreme testosterone stages. some women human beings want adult males who do not seem as if they are wearing a woolly vest....that is all right down to non-public decision.

Answer 7

because their brain is still developing !