It seems lately that every man I meet has 2 or 3 young children (usually under 10 years). I am 40 and have a 16 year old and really don't want to have to deal with young children again and especially not the ex wife. I am meeting men my age and up, even as old as 56, but they all seem to have small children. I have met guys in the past that were 40's and 50's and had grown children but now it seems they all have young kids. I have no issues with the ex (he's not around for many years) and want to have a man for myself and not have to deal with his ex wife for the next 10-15 years. I want to have time to do adult things (nothing bad, just restaraunts and travel and other things) and not have to compete with any ex spouse. Am I that wrong for not wanting to see have his income going to his ex for many years to come rather than us having plans and goals together? I am not dating anyone at the time but this seems to be an ongoing problem with the men I am meeting.
2007-03-08 10:10:24 · 26 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I do specify that I don't want men with young children but many times I get responses where these men don't mention it till we talk on the phone. They mention having children but I just presume that since a guy in 56, his kids must certainly be grown, and then I get a surprise to find out they are 6, 7 and 9!
2007-03-08 10:20:26 · update #1
It seems to be a trend that many people are having children later in life. Two of our friends are nearly 50. They have a 10 yr old and an 8 yr old and the wife was just diagnosed with brain cancer.
Anyway, I guess you should either just warm up to little kids or start advertising right from the get-go that kids under 18 are a no-no.
2007-03-08 10:14:33 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's most likely because Americans are able to live longer and more robust lives with modern medicine. Therefore, many men are waiting until later in life to have children once they have firmly established themselves. I can see how it might pose a problem on your end but I must say that there are guys out there younger than you (people like me) who are fed up with the immaturity and lack of goals that younger women have. I'd suggest seeking a younger man who is ambitious and isn't looking for a family anytime soon. Best of luck.
2007-03-08 10:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Justin G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you're not wrong for wanting some time and attention for yourself. You didn't say how long you've been supporting yourself, but I guess that it's more fun to have adult company. You are still supporting a teen ager and that can be trying. Little children are great (if they're somebody else's) and you can give them back to their parents after babysitting for a while. But you certainly need to look for someone who's not so tied down. You need someone that will be financially responsible to you and not a multitude of little children and ex's. It's not wrong to want what you want when you want it. I hope you find mr. right soon. God Bless, Martha S.
2007-03-08 10:18:57 · answer #3 · answered by Martha S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I dont think you are wrong at all. Its a Tour of Duty bringing kids up today and once done........to have to turn around and help bring some one else's up, I would not do it. Most men have their children every 2nd weekend , If you really liked him maybe you could go outta town or visit a friend when kids come to stay. May the force be with ya..... *smiles*
2007-03-08 10:22:26 · answer #4 · answered by Leah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong at all. You are at a point in your life where you start looking forward to grandchildren, not starting all over again raising a child and especially a child that is not yours. Try your local community center. They sometimes have discount trips that you can take with a group to lots of interesting places or visit your local Church. I am sure there are men out there w/out "little" kids who are looking for a women that doesn't have a "little" kid! Good luck!
2007-03-08 10:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, sugar, it's a preference, like jelly or butter on ur toast...some folks just don't want any drama, and, unfortunately, small kids r sometimes the cause...i feel the same way u do; the only difference is i don't have children...ur right tho, it does seem 2 b an epidemic...maybe three of the guys i've dated in the last year and a half had no or grown children...the ones that really killed me had INFANTS... ;o)
2007-03-08 10:20:13 · answer #6 · answered by Aurora Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. You have specific requirements that you should not compromise.
Nevertheless, many single dads with young children are good guys.
I am widowed with 2 young children. Rest assured, if I had a choice, I would rather that my wife be still alive. That is not how it is however.
good luck in finding a man that meets your requirements. They are out there.
2007-03-08 10:17:25 · answer #7 · answered by Jack Chedeville 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. If you settled for a man with young children, then you would wind up resenting him for all the things you could not do or would miss out on. Just keep looking and you will find what you are looking for.
2007-03-08 10:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by Terri C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should include on whatever website you are using "no young children". As for the ex-wife, either they are a *****, or not a problem. You sound as picky as your 5 minute guy on your other question.
2007-03-08 10:14:56 · answer #9 · answered by I See You 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no your not wrong. you should'nt deal with things you don't want. For instance, i don't want a roomate who has a child.. even though i have a 4 year old. I just don't want to deal with other peoples kids. You should just keep looking and you'll find a man who doesn't have young children.
2007-03-08 10:13:53 · answer #10 · answered by Felicia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋