Can anyone give me advice? I need help.?

Question

Well, a couple years ago, I had an eating disorder and was suffering from depression, so it was a really tough time. I didn't really want to live, and I hated everyone and everything. Eventually, I made a complete 180 with the help of myself. I did not go get professional help, and I was too embarrased and ashamed to say anything to my parents or friends. Today, I'm healthy and everything, but I still relapse sometimes. The relapses have been getting more frequent, and scary. I'm slowly returning to where I was two years ago, and I don't want to be there. I'm beginning to feel really uncomfortable with myself now that I've gained all the weight back, and I HATE IT! I just want to be normal like everyone else. I don't want to go to therapy or anything, because I would hate to be considered "a patient" and everything. So, I was wondering if anyone had advice, becuase I can't talk to anyone around me, becuase I'm ashamed. Anything will help...I'm just tired.

Answer 1

Hi anastasia,
I have been bulimic and went through other forms of eating disorder the past couple of years. Last year I was in the exact same place as you with the depression, suicidal thoughts etc I also had the same belief as you about seeing a doctor/counsellor/therapist etc..I didn't want the stigma and label that society gives you as being mentally unstable. But the thing is most of the time I findm i really want the help, i just feel ashamed to get it. I did reach out for help and it's not easy those feelings you describe do stay with you as long as you hide the secret and shame. At the moment I have started seeing a counsellor at my university and she has been great..even though shes not offering full time support, but once you open up and get used to telling your story, it gets easier, it kinda begins to feel normal. It's so hard to open up when you have a condition that you feel guilty about, that you blame yourself for or you feel sometimes you don't deserve help for because it's self inflicted but that's not how counsellors or therapist see it. Infact i seen my counsellor today and she said that infact counsellors go through counselling when they are training to help them open up and feel comfortable with who they are....it's not just for people with a mental illness, just those suffering with bad feelings.
Your not " a Patient" pet, your a human being who needs a little help to get things back on track. I find with bulimia you think your in control and you can control , and then u realise months has gone past and your doing it daily and you forgot when you "fell off the wagen".
Well done to you for going it alone...but perhaps it just wasn't enough pet and that's why you are struggling abit now. it's a well known fact with eating disorders that you can't really cure them but find ways of dealing with them and the emotions that make us act in these ways. Relapsing is natrual in most cases, but its not how often we fall it's how often we get back up again.
I know exactly how you feel when you say you want to be normal...you don't want to have to think about your weight, your food intake and all the emotions that go with it.....just remember there is no such thing as normal and having an eating disorder doesn't make you abnormal. In my opinion most people have a "drug" of choice, weather it be drugs, drink or food....alcholics go to AAA meetings, Drug addicts go to rehab...so people with difficulties with food need that little extra help too sometimes and you deserve it!!:)
Feel free to email me. You are a normal human being...your eating doesnt change who you are! x

Answer 2

How about rather than seeking professional help just asking a few of your best friends to help you, or a sibling. It's never wrong to ask a good friend for help with a problem because they then will be able to turn to you for help later. Nobody can go through life in isolation - humans are a social animal and need to support each other.
Years as a depressed alcoholic have taught me the hard way that a little help and support from a few really good friends will do a lot more than any amount of professional help. Usually someone close will already have some insights into your problems and can be very useful. And don't think you are being a burden at the moment - because while you are still holding it together a friend can easily help you to fix any cracks in your resolve.
You are strong enough to turn things around again and make your life good - you just need some good friends nearby to keep telling you how strong you are and that you CAN do it.

Answer 3

I can totally relate, in the sense that I suffered from bulimia and anorexia for almost 9 years. It caused so much damage to my body that I'm am thankful to be alive. It is so hard to get over it and nobody understands unless they've been there. I have been on antidepressants for like 5 years, and the only thing that forced me to stop was that I (accidentally) got pregnant and once I realized that I was affecting another life it changed everything. Although I must be honest, sometimes when I eat too much, I feel like **** and at times I relapse too. I can't tell you that there is a cure, because I haven't found it yet.. but it is nice to know that there is someone out there who has gone through the same thing. I hope this helps you. :)

Answer 4

depression, its the common cold of psychiatry, i think you need to remember that you dont want to feel like you did two years ago. You sound extremely depressed, best method of removing is medication with some therapy, especially cognitive behavioural therapy, CBT! you should read up on it and if you think it will help go for it. You have nothing to be ashamed of. talk to the people who care about you! they'll be better at giving you advice, not telling them what you've been going through is just as stressful and might be a reason why you're going back to how things were! You shouldnt negate your family and friends, they can be a great help in recover of depression! good luck and if you need to talk to an anonymous person, i'd be glad to chat to you! :)

Answer 5

The main thing to keep in mind is your legal right to privacy. No one has access to information about someone else's mental health treatment without permission, not parents, not employers, not friends, no one!

I used to be embarrassed walking into a Goodwill store to shop, but eventually I realized that everyone else there was shopping at the Goodwill also, and not only did they not care that I was there, but they were more concerned about their own lives and what they were doing to notice me.

The same is with community mental health clinics. Everyone there is there to try to improve their lives. The people who work there are mandated to know as little about you as they need in order to do their jobs. As far as any staff member or client knows, you could be there to discuss the problems that a family member is having and not your own issues. Only those that need to know are going to know why you are there and what assistance you may be seeking.

Which side of the glass window in the reception room a person is on is a pretty thin line. You might be surprised how many people change which side of the glass they are on, once in a while.

Take care of yourself.
Best wishes.

Answer 6

Oh Anastasi! I really do understand your fears of becoming a patient etc. Honestly! I just totally want to reassure you that it IS okay to have mental health problems...sooo many people do. I do!

When I became very ill, I tried to hide it! But my illness went on for such a long period of time...I couldn't hide it. I had stays in hospital...which I also tried to hide...but couldn't in the end...so what I did was spoke out about it...had NO shame....and surprise surprise when I did that, other people would tell me how THEY had depressive episodes etc.
So many people try to hide it.

I think my talking about it has made a lot of people come forward and admit to their own probs!

Now I have NO shame whatsoever! I get unwell...so I get treatment.

There is a LOT of help out there for you and you do not have to go through this ordeal alone.

The support I got was wonderful....you also meet a lot of other people just like you and that REALLY helps because you can talk with each other and have something in common!

Please, please, don't tread this path alone. Go and explain things to your doctor...explain what happened last time.

There is a whole array of help available to you...go get it...you deserve it.

Also, if you are in the UK, contact MIND...they run a lot of things and can provide counselling too.

Remember 1 in 4 will suffer some form of depression in their lives.....very very common.

Thanks to my seeking help I am a much more well adjusted person today than I was before I got all the help...I am stronger.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 7

I haven't got any specific advice on eating disorders / depression but just wanted to suggest you look up recovery stuff on the internet. Hang on in there - you recovered once, which meant you learnt all of the skills you need, and you can do it again. The next climb back will be easier, because you will know the pitfalls.

Normal people go to therapy!! It can be just an opportunity to discuss issues that are important to you, without needing to worry about what other people think of you. Try and build up the courage to get help -its not as scary as it sounds.
It might be useful to think about which came first - were you depressed so your eating habits were affected, or did your eating habits make you depressed?

good luck

Answer 8

For a long time I refused to go to the doctor for depression because I didn't want to be lumped into that category. Finally when I started crying after watching a commercial on tv I decided I needed to buck up and take charge. I went to my doctor and told them how I was feeling really sad all the time and I couldn't make it go away. I too didn't want to go to counseling but they convinced me to meet with someone one time. I met with a Social Worker and basically just answered questions for him. He reported to my doctor that I was on the verge of a major depression and I was put on anti-depressants immediately.

I was embarrassed and didn't want people to know but eventually found out that most of the people I knew/associated with were also on anti-depressants! Go figure! Anyhow, that was about 4 years ago and I KNOW I wouldn't have lasted this long if I hadn't forced myself to go to the doctor.

Don't worry about what you are considered, worry about what you need to do to make YOU better and if that is take a pill everyday or see a therapist that is fine. I think it is far more "NORMAL" than you realize.

Good Luck! Hang in there! DON"T BE ASHAMED!!!!

Answer 9

Get help, talking to a stranger REALLY helps.
I have depression and some of the things i think about my nearest and dearest can be really evil and poisonous. I can say these things to a therapist who can help me see pass the emotional BS i throw up and get to the real issues. These can then be discussed calmly and without hurting any ones feeling unnecessarily.
It is not weak, you will not be seen as just a patient. We all have problems and a therapist will help you with perspective.

Answer 10

Getting help is not as bad as it seems. Im struggling with an eating disorder right now, it DOES get horrible and all. At first I didnt want to tell anyone in person, so i called up this helpline and spoke to someone over the phone. Its much easier and it helps to be able to call someone when stuff gets dodgy. I think the organisation is called BEAT. Good luck.