what if the mother doesnt want to share custody or give visitation ?
2007-03-08 09:31:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my husband barley found out this kid was his and the kid is 6 and the mother has just always had them with her. but now we have bonded with this child and she is the one who isnt confortable with my husband bringing the child with us. without her and her man.
2007-03-08 09:43:35 · update #1
and ........ the kid doesnt even know my husband is the father yet she doesnt want to tell them til 8 or 9 yrs old
2007-03-08 09:44:56 · update #2
it depends on what was the reason that law gives her the custody of the children
2007-03-08 09:34:20 · answer #1 · answered by ஜ☆§weet Angel☆ஜ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, ask yourself if there is some reason that the mother doesn't want to share the custody? has there been abuse, infidelity, or drug and alcohol abuse that could affect the relationship? have you denied the child was yours?
second, depending upon the circumstances, you can find an attorney who can create a custodial arrangement or visitation schedule through the court system. You can call the local bar association for low or no cost representation that can help you to protect your rights.
also, if you are the father, they will arrange for child support payments in order to care for your child.
if you are a grandparent, depending upon where you live, you may have NO RIGHTS. Some states and jurisdictions do not recognize the rest of the family in custody hearings.
your best bet is to talk to your local legal aid and get them involved. they have sliding scale fees or are free depending upon income.
if you have sufficient resource HIRE THE BEST. it is in your child's best interest.
2007-03-08 09:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by stonechic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It’s the JUDGE that decides, not Mom. But it’s up to YOU to petition the court for custody/visitation. Do it. Unless you're unfit in some manner, you will get visitation at the very least. And frankly, even if you're unfit in some way (which I assume is not the case) you may very well still get supervised visitation.
EDITED TO ADD THIS AFTER YOU ADDED ‘ADDITIONAL DETAILS’:
You still haven’t given enough information for an accurate answer. The big question is has paternity been legally established? If he’s paying child support, then it has been (because he can’t be ordered to pay child support until paternity is legally established). And in that case, he needs to petition for visitation. Until he does that, Mom is not required to allow him to see the child at all.
If paternity has NOT been legally established then he would have to do that first (and of course Mom will then petition for child support) before he can petition for visitation.
But until he goes the legal route and gets court-ordered visitation, all he can do is plead with Mom and hope she changes her mind. But, frankly, given the situation (that the child is 6 and has no clue this man is his father) I can understand Mom’s reluctance and her need to ‘ease’ the child into it. Whatever happens, I would suggest not informing this child that this man is his father without FIRST consulting with some type of specialist in this area about how to do that. It’s a delicate situation and needs to be handled properly.
Good luck.
2007-03-08 09:40:52 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that she is keeping the child from you without just cause, then you may want to get a lawyer to file a visitation order to ensure that you are able to have contact with the child.
2007-03-08 09:39:52 · answer #4 · answered by kathy h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it ain't up to her. no mother should deny the father his children, no matter what has happened between them. the children dont' need to be dragged in the middle. if the mother doesn't want to then she needs to seek counselling to figure out why and be able to resolve the issues she has with the father so she can be a better parent
2007-03-08 09:35:15 · answer #5 · answered by Jody SweetG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer. If you were owning up to your responsibilities as a father, she won't be able to cut you out so easy. Fathers have rights too. The key word being father, not sperm donor.
2007-03-08 09:35:42 · answer #6 · answered by Patricia d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends. are you the father? are you paying child support? if your up to date on all child support then you can take her to court and will be granted visitation rights
2007-03-08 09:34:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say look that is my baby to he or she needs the both of you the man and the woman he or she does not need to grow up without a mom or dad just talk about that with hem or her
2007-03-08 09:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by william w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those that know their ex is on drugs or abusive.
Good luck!
2007-03-08 09:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to court, fight for the right of your kids
2007-03-08 09:35:21 · answer #10 · answered by tanya elisabeth; 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋