SAVING yourself for MARRIAGE?

Question

I personally dont think that this works anymore in todays society, considering that relationships can go on for years before marriage is even considered...

- Im against losing virginity at an early age (I am 14, and plan of staying a virgin for a while)

- Is it really worth it?

- Is it considered a mortal sin if you dont save yourself? If so, then isnt most of the christian population at fault?

Whats your take in the issue?

what about men? do they save themselves too?

SAVING yourself for MARRIAGE?
I personally dont think that this works anymore in todays society, considering that relationships can go on for years before marriage is even considered...

- Im against losing virginity at an early age (I am 14, and plan of staying a virgin for a while)

- Is it really worth it?

- Is it considered a mortal sin if you dont save yourself? If so, then isnt most of the christian population at fault?

Whats your take in the issue

Answer 1

So I'm going to take an.. unusual view on this.
I am an Atheist, and a Virgin, and a guy. (18 at that ;) )
There are more reasons besides religion for abstinence.

The first one you often hear spread about is the safety issue. Personally, i don't think this is a good primary reason. There are many many many ways to protect yourself from both STD's and pregnancies. However, it works as a good secondary reason, if you have another reason as your main one to solidify your position.

The second (and main) reason for abstinence is romantic. I *want* my sexual activities to be special. By sleeping around it would diminish the importance of sexual encounters. There is no universal reason for this. I cannot say anyone else should follow it.


I would say to not have sex till marriage is stupid. I understand waiting for a commitment (such as engagement), but sex is a huge part of a relationship. It is much better for things to fall apart before marriage, not after.

Answer 2

It is an intimacy that shared by a man and a woman can be very worldly or very spiritual. The spiritual kind is between a man and wife, which makes it better in many ways. The worldly way only gives a superficial temporary satisfaction. The worth is only what you expect. If you set your expectations to high you will be disappointed. Sex outside of marriage is a sin, but sex between a husband and wife isn't. When a man has a virgin for a bride He's much more pleased at becoming her first and only. And if she really loves him, then she will be happy to have saved herself for him. It's an honorable thing, a good thing.

Answer 3

There are no circumstances today that make it impossible. I was married a little over two years ago, and my husband and I did successfully wait for each other (even through the few years of us dating each other).

Now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I will tell you, waiting was not always easy, but to this day I have never once, not even for half a second, regretted my decision to wait for the right man and the right commitment from him first.

Our first baby is on the way now, and I am so glad this child gets to be born within the safety and security of a mommy and daddy who are married and fully dedicated to one another.

I hope the next decade or two for you will find you in the same, happy, and content position I am in now - good luck.

Answer 4

You're right, engagements CAN go on for a really long time, as compared to how long they went on in earlier years.
However, I'll tell you this, and you can take it however you want to (though I hope you don't take it as a typical adult trying to show their supremacy, lol):
I wish I had waited. I wasn't much older than you when I lost my virginity, and the guy I lost it to...well, we're friends now, but he NEVER should have been a boyfriend. He had NO idea how to treat a woman.
A few years later, I met my husband. And that's when I REALLY wish I had stayed a virgin. It would have been amazing to FINALLY lose my virginity on my wedding night. Of course, it would have been even better if I would have been HIS first as well.
But yes, it would have been worth it to wait.
No, it's not a "mortal" sin, but sex outside of marriage IS a sin.

No one can tell you how to live your life. All anyone can do is advise you. But I can tell you...please be careful. Once you lose your virginity, you can NEVER get it back.

Answer 5

No, it's not considered a mortal sin. Your virginity is the only thing you can really give your new husband, besides your love. I feel that it's well worth it. You won't have any early or unwanted pregnancies, you don't have to worry about getting any kind of sexual disease, and you don't have to worry about guys using you. You just tell them up front that they're not getting any....period. If they don't like that, then they can go and find another girlfriend. It'll prevent a lot of heartache, and you can really get your goals (like college) reached. Think about this very hard. You have everything to gain. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

easy answer - I wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first

and I don't know why anyone would make a lifetime commitment without knowing for sure its what they want

live - have fun - date - have SAFE sex if you really need to

but don't get serious until you achieve your goals in life ... and hopefully you have greater goals then just getting married and having sex ... too many women in this country are just looking for some sucker to give them a free ride (sorry if I sound cynical) ... be better than that, and make a difference

I also want to say, sex is only really about 10% of a relationship (or marrage), there is so much more to it ... but if that 10% isnt there ... the other 90% isn't worth it

Answer 7

The greatest gift that you can give your husband when you finally get married is him knowing that he is your first. By keeping yourself pure until marriage, you are saying to him, "I knew you were going to be my perfect mate so I have saved myself for you and only you." It's worth waiting for.

Answer 8

waiting until marriage is the way. look at countries that women wait until they marry, they have very low hiv infection rates, and very low std rates, while having most families made up of a mother father and child(ren). what kind of women would have sex with a man that is not her husband, not one that should be respected by anyone.

Answer 9

to save yourself a sort of first time thing, i mean would you prefer to say my first time was with my husband/ wife than to say it was with some dude/girl that cheated on me?

Answer 10

Saving yourself is the wise way to do it. By saving yourself you'll command respect.