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My step daughter has special needs. Her biological mother does not want her and she is always running off causing herself to be placed in great danger. She has been diagnosed with mental retardation. An IQ of 63 and she has borderline personality disorder with anti social traits. Last time she ran off, the police found her in a car with a 39 year old guy who was driving a stolen car and had hand cuffs and rope and tape in his bag. Thank God we found her alive and well. But I think we are going to have to protect her from herself. She thinks like a little kid. The police said that if she takes off since she 17 there is not much we can do for her because we can't force her to stay against her will. So we think we may be able to gaurdianship to do this. How would we go about this and how much would this cost?

2007-03-08 09:15:54 · 9 answers · asked by Marie 7 in Health Mental Health

She has also been sexually abused by her mom's ex husband. Poor kid, we really want to see her have some happiness!

2007-03-08 09:17:06 · update #1

My husband has joint custody. She has been with us for the last six months.

2007-03-08 09:24:13 · update #2

9 answers

Since she is 17 there is only the courts. You need to get all her mothers bad information to help you out. Since the child is mentally not able to tell a judge that she wants to be with you its a hard thing to deal with. If you can File abandonment charges on the mother that could help you so much more. Most states see that if a parent has a child in the home(or with you if you have moved) for 6 months or more that is then the childs permenant residence. I learned that a few years ago. You have to file this with the courts and show proof of what the mother has been doing then when the mother shows up to court you can ask the judge to grant orders upon the mother to do before the child is with her ever again. Most times in cases like this you will have to get a pychic evaluation to state that she (the child) can not take care of herself so that even when she turns 18 no one can just let her go where she (the child) wants to through inticement. If she (the child) runs away you will have proof that she cant not take care of herself. If the mother leaves her by herself then its child indangerment. Its hard to deal with this kind of case but you should get some doctors to state that your step daughter can not be alone at all and that she is mentally around (?) and that she does not understand anything but what a little child does. I hope this was some help to you and your husband. You are a great step mother for thinking of her like this not many people in this world would ever take on a relationship with a child that is menatlly ill in anyway. I am proud to see some people love who they are with no matter what comes with that person.

2007-03-08 09:38:52 · answer #1 · answered by Arizona Chick 5 · 0 0

With this many special needs and her level of retardation I don't see how you can't get legal guardianship of this child. With just the past things you have stated you can start with the State wherever you are and find out how to have her claimed socially disabled and a threat to herself and others.
I'm sure somehow Lawyers have to get involved but if the mother doesn't care anyway why would she fight you since the girl is almost of legal age anyway? There are many places like group homes for special needs etc. that she can be placed and the State pays for it. I'm in CA and my niece ran a group home for retarded women for a large Co. for years. Start by getting on the Internet and see what kind of sites you can go to to get info, I would get everything started now before it's too late. Good Luck

2007-03-08 09:51:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 5 · 0 0

You will need to do this through a court, but how you approach the court can vary.

I'd say what you want is sole care, custody and control awarded to the father and the mother's visitation subject to terms decided by the court based upon the situation. This might mean supervised visitation or visitation to begin only after particular goals have been met by the mother.

We had to do this with my stepchildren because their mother was a drug addict and they also had special needs (autism and mental illness).

No matter how you approach it, though, you will need to have evidence to prove your case. What you need to do is make sure you have all documentation of her mental disorders, IQ tests, testamony of school personnel, etc. It would be to your advantage to have your own therapist evaluate her and testify as to what needs to be done in court.

Your step-daughter should be appointed an advocate and guardian ad litem, who will also investigate the situation and make recommendations to the court. It is in your best interests to work with this person fully.

To kick off this process you have several options:

1. You can file a child in need of supervision petition at your local family court or juvenile probation office

2. You can call the department of human resources and report the mother (you should do this anyway because an opposing lawyer is going to ask why you didn't if you claim abuse)

3. You can file in court on your own for a change of custody

Either way you need an attorney to advise you.

You should contact NAMI and any local groups that work in mental retardation for further assistance based upon your state laws.

Your step daughter should be receiving special education services due to her mental impairment. If she's not already qualified under special education you need to move to get this done. She likely qualifies for services like social skills training, transition services (like free counseling, free help to find work and the best living situation after she graduates, etc.) She might even qualify for special residential programs if they are necessary to help her have a shot a success (one of my sons is in one of these due to the severity of his emotional disturbance).

If you don't do it now she'll turn 18 and age out of the system and then you are left with no recourse. If you get her served before 18 then you can usually get services until she is 21.

If you ever truly feel she is a danger to herself and others you need to have her admitted to a hospital ASAP.

When you go to a therapist or to a hospital, ask for help getting her appropriately serviced. They will be able to refer you to the right people and places in your area.

Best wishes.

2007-03-08 09:40:37 · answer #3 · answered by gwennthered 6 · 0 0

lawyers usually give free consultations. I would look int the phone book or ask some trusted friends to recommend a lawyer and then start there. The process proabbly won't be every hard. Especially if the mother does not want her. if a lawyer agrees I would seek out the mother to sign a piece of paper in front of a notary that says she is giving you guys custody for at least 90 days, that way you have a legal binding documeant, and can proceed.

2007-03-08 09:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I would consult an attorney asap. Call and find out what they charge for just a consultation. It may be well worth it. Or if there may be a group that can get you free advice. Check around your area or ask a cop or clergyman. Maybe there is somone in your local church or place of worship that can give you some free legal advice

2007-03-08 09:31:23 · answer #5 · answered by Makemeaspark 7 · 0 0

ask the mother first to sign the rights over to you. If she will not then you will have to contact dhs which can be a big problem because they may not let you have the child. since she is 17 she can sign off from her mom herself. she can be I think it is call aminsipated. basically divorced from her mother. it is leagal.

2007-03-08 09:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by Shelly t 6 · 0 1

there are group homes out there for the handicapped
take her to a Dr get him to tell you where the best place for her to be is

2007-03-08 09:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by caffsans 7 · 0 0

urge you to find a family law specialist, you will have to have her declared legally incompetent and then apply for guardianship.

2007-03-08 09:20:17 · answer #8 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0 0

aww bless

Have you tryed citz advice ? they will know ..

2007-03-08 09:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by redpoison 2 · 0 0

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