What are the pros & cones of Love Vs. arrange marriage?

Question

Arranged marriage is selection of bride/groom by the parents in which they see the compatability of the spouce of their children. That she is beautiful,educated, well versed comes from a well to do but little bit inferior family so she may feel she got better life than what see had. (more than her educated husband) If she will get all this she will start liking this home & husband. As thye bring daughter-in-law from a lower family & send daughter to a higher family. They observe the social to social educational to educational financial to financial. so that both girls are happy. because they are comming to a higher family.There may be dowry may not be. In Dowry if they pay 300,000 they surely observe is their daughter getting 3,000,000 if something happens to the son-in law tomarrow?

Love marriage is love & what ever the boyfriend /girlfriend feel good. May be dowry may not be.I feel love marriag is not the solution of dowry abolition

Answer 1

Marriage remains a gamble, whether or not it is a love marriage or arranged marriage, or whether it dowry less or dowried marriage. All you can do is play by intuition and proceed with a clean heart. Give love as far as possible and be honest and to some extent tactful. In spite of all that, if does not work then seek divorce and find another partner. This is what statistics says.

Answer 2

You are describing a VERY LIMITED definition of arranged marriage. What you are describing is a PLANNED marriage where the kids have no say in the matter at all. You'll find that many arranged marriages give the kids a choice in the matter. The initial introduction between boy and girl is arranged, but the final choice is left to the two individuals involved.

I don't find this latter method BARBARIC in the least. It actually takes a great deal of courage and maturity on the part of the boy and girl to even meet somebody through this method. It is a blind date to the infinity power. Very nerve-wracking.

Either way, it is not DATING. With dating, there is no certainty that marriage will be the ultimate goal. With arranged meetings, marriage is always the ultimate goal. The intention is always marriage. Which is why so many modern kids are returning back to this traditional method of getting married these days. You know why you are meeting this person. For marriage. Not for living together. Not for dating and then breaking up in a couple of years. For marriage.

Answer 3

Again in an arranged marriage the bride and groom are asked for their choices too. These days they are even allowed to date. It's not only the parents who decide. Secondly, parents choose the one who could be compatible with whole family and not just the son or daughter.

While people opting out for love marriages rarely think about compatibility of their spouses with their family.

Couple invloved in arranged marriages require more time to understand each other.

However, people involved in love marriages are no better. They believe they understand their partner until they get married. Later, a lot of things are a discovery to them.

In India, success rate of arranged marriages is far higher than that of love marraiges. In the west, where love marraiges are predominant, divorce rates are far higher. Abstract forms of relationships have come into picture.

Anyways, success of a marriage, be it love or arranged, depends more on the roles of the persons participating. Higher the level of commitment and understanding, happier the married life.

All the best...

:-)

Answer 4

in love marriage u get to knowe many things about that person, provided he is tru to u, so its easier to adjust in such a marrige. if u plan well during ur courtship period then u can lead a happy life. bt if u go against ur parents n marry, there is always this risk of being deserted, i mean if the person betrays u or something u vil only b blamed 4 ur decisions.
bt in arranged marriage watever the situation u vil always hav ur parents n relatives back up.
coming to dowry it actually depends on the guy, there r sum gentlemen who don take dowry even in arranged marriages n there r idionts who demand dowry frm their gf.

Answer 5

No one knows you as well as you know yourself. When you choose your own mate, you get to spend time with that person to make sure that they are suitable. When you allow a matchmaker or your parents to choose, you run the risk that someone who doesn't know the most secret parts of your personality will choose incorrectly. In fact there are just as many, if not more, unhappy arranged couples as love matches. But because arranged couples tend to come from more traditional families, they live in misery together or even take lovers on the side instead of bearing the shame of divorce. Very sad!

Answer 6

Arranged marriages are a barbaric custom that has no place in modern society. There can be no assurance that the parties will even like each other, let alone be sufficiently compatible to have a good life.

Answer 7

I can understand how it can seem good in some ways, but going into an arranged marriage can have lots of cons. especially as you don't know how or if you are compatatble with someone unless you can spend time with them beforehand.
Never mind the rest that comes after the marriage.
It's not about money for some people.

Answer 8

I dont know about the financial thing. I personally married a woman that came from washing clothes in the tub and catching dinner to cook. I took her to a 3 bedroom house, nice suv to drive, all the clothes she could want and nothing but the best for our chidren. Ya, were divorced now...lol. She is broke and happy. So in retrospect, I dont think money makes a happy woman and i learned alot from that relationship.

Answer 9

Love & marriage is different things, love may happen many times but marriage once. so marraige should be done after gathering some knowledge about her. What she want & what is the basic choice of her and simultaneously you should know her about yourself and after getting a pure match-making you sould do some phycical relationship, I know its india here no lade wants physical relationship before marriage but I know what should be, I think girl is not a materials made by some soft maaterials that they lose their beuty after touch, its may be happen. but pure maturity love comes after making relation, friendship & sex, so pure love can give you a pure beuty life. so love-mariage is better than arrange-marriage.

Answer 10

I don't see any pros in letting someone else decide who your going to spend your life with. The only pros are for the people who arrange them since this is of some financial benefit to them.


Vin