he's in his mid 20's, he has his own place, a job, but he drinks get drunk and have endless one night stands and he smokes.
and he's the only child that is like this, his other siblings has a family.
1) would you try to get him to change?
2) would you try to convince him to have a committed relationship?
3) what would you do?
2007-03-08 08:29:42 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Honestly, let him live his life, the way he wants. Let him make his mistakes & learn from them. He will not change because you want him to. He will only change when he wants to, usually after hitting bottom.
2007-03-08 08:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Sure I would try to get him to change but there really isn't anything you can say that will do so. Having a committed relationship isn't something someone can be "convinced" into doing, it is something they choose to do because they love and respect the person they are with.
All you can do is be supportive and throw in the occassional lecture. He is an adult and supports himself. Eventually it will all catch up to him and he'll realize that settling down is a good thing.
2007-03-08 16:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately mom, he's young and sowing those wild oats you hear about. He's living his own life. I would let him know I don't approve of his behavior. I would let him know I would appreciate it if he didn't get drunk so often, and remind him one night stands, even carefully planned ones can end in trouble. You can tell him you love him and you are there for him, but I doubt you will get him to change. He won't do that til HE"S ready to do it. Just love him and let him know you are there for him when he stumbles or falls. He'll learn eventually it's not a sustainable lifestyle. I'm mom to 3.
2007-03-08 16:36:11 · answer #3 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's obviously doing okay for himself because he has his own place. not such a good idea to constantly ride him about it. this is a phase that will come to pass sooner or later. right now, he's just living a bachelor life. if you convince him to have a committed relationship and it goes all bad, he will resent you for that. you went through some phases in your life i'm sure but, you grew from your experiences and raised some wonderful kids. though your work as a parent is never done, you need to let him bump his own head a couple of times. step back and let him live. leave it in god's hands and all will be fine. time for you to live your life and him to live his.
2007-03-08 16:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by d. w 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a phase of his life... sooner he will be thinking about family... and a change of life style... talking to him is a good idea but don't say that what he's doing is bad... just talk about what would he want in the future... family wise. I am turning 28 and it was just last year that i thought about having a family, if i'm ready for it... and how hard i must work to be ready. (Mom's exact question... "are you thinking of having a family soon?") and that's all it takes for me to think about it. Meeting the right girl is another thing. ask the question.
2007-03-08 17:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that his lifestyle is endangering his life, perhaps an intervention should be put in place. Hire a professional Interventionist. Supply the Rehabilitation center.
Don't hound on him or nag him. That will just make him mad. But in an intervention, you give him the choice of his lifestyle or removing his loved ones out of his life.
Help him, don't hound him.
Good luck Hon.
2007-03-08 16:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have tried to stop his pre-destructive behavior when he was a teen. This crap probably didn't start over night. I have 2 boys and if they did crap like this I would flip. If they were teens I would send them to boot camp/military school. But if they were in there 20's I would try to get them in rehab. Maybe do an intervention.
2007-03-08 16:40:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you try to change him it will make him want to do those things more!! He is a grown man let him make his own decisions and if it turns out to be the wrong one he will learn from his mistakes. All you can do is love and support him, he is not a baby anymore!!
2007-03-08 16:34:37 · answer #8 · answered by housewives5 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a normal 20 something male. Leave him alone, he'll figure things out on his own after he hits rock bottom.
2007-03-08 16:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd think he wasn't ready for a commited relationship. Be patient, he'll grow out of it and settle down.
2007-03-08 16:57:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋