I am 27 years old and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. But now i dont know if this is the guy I want to end up with. Having said that I am not sure if I want to start off fresh at this age. My bf wants to marry me but there are issues with his mother which is very dicey. She doesnt like me and she will stay with us since she is a single mother. I want to know if I should stick it out or dump him and start fresh!
2007-03-08 08:17:00 · 66 answers · asked by Lucky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Dump him onto Mommy. 27 eh? Let' see, you'll be dead of old age in 2 years. May as well quit.
I remarried at 30 sweetheart. Trust me, you're not too old.
2007-03-08 08:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
hahahahaha
whew..give me a sec....whew..okay
27? too old?
and what was that you said "I am not sure if I want to start off fresh at this age" what are you thinking?
Oh- I get it- your one of those people who think that 1/4 of your life is over or whatever.
Let me give you a hint. It's not to late for anything. Unless your doc. just called you up to say you have a week to live- I'd say your not too young.
Okay- but why the heck are you with a guy that after 5 years you don't know if he's "the One" then why be with him?
did me saying that make you feel sad? did a part of you scream out I can't leave him? then maybe you love him-
Love isn't as hard as people try to make it out to be. You do not 'Fall in love" love is a choice. Is he the sort of guy you would enjoy having a life with? will he stay true to you? will he be able to take care of you? is he your best friend or just a lover?
if he's not what you need then dump him. Your not too young to be with someone.
If he is what you need then why not marry him?
I have a bad feeling that you are making this hard on yourself when there is no reason to. Marring swomeone is about being so happy that you know you need to be with this person the rest of your life. then it gets hard. You will have to deal with alot of problems and pain. do you love him enough for that you may ask- it's simple. You have to Choose to love him that much. it doesn't work without you.
No one on here can answer this for you.
but I bet you knew that.
2007-03-08 08:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by JenGem 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You actually have several issues here:
- Dump him and start fresh - yes, you could do that, but you get in-laws along with a husband most of the time. Starting fresh is no guarantee that you can avoid in-law issues.
- Issues with marrying the current man in your life - I would think that 5 years is plenty of time to discover whether that's going to work or not. He wants to marry you, but on what terms. Now is the time to get that decided, before the wedding.
- Issues with his mother - does not like you and she will stay with us. What does "very dicey" mean? Is the situation improving or deteriorating? Sounds like she comes with the package. If that's a dealbreaker for you, just tell them both goodbye and have a nice life together, mother and son.
2007-03-08 08:29:03 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think 27 is too old to get married. Honestly hun if you don't think he is the right guy for you then it's ok to break it off. It takes a while to get to know the real person and I commend you for waiting and finding out all the little things about you both in this relationship. About the mother, girl if it's your house you should be able to tell her no. If you don't want her to stay there. It should be your bf's job to do that since you aren't married. Make a wise desicion. Check all the pros and cons before making a life altering desicion like that. Trust your gut. Good luck hun.
2007-03-08 14:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Five years is a long time. If you haven't married him by now, then ask yourself what has stopped you? Mother in laws can be tricky factors in relationships, especially for the mama's boys most Indian guys are.
It may not seem a big issue to you, since mother in laws often play an interfering role in their son's life, but if that has been what's delaying your marriage to this guy...then it is a problem to you, and that is all that matters.
Is his mother currently staying with him? Have you discussed his mother at length with him? Believe me, if she does not like you now, then there is no gaurantee that she will warm to you later on. While it's a possibility that she will relax her attitude toward you with time, there is no promise.
Other than the mother in law issue, is there any other factor making you hesitant to walk down the aisle, or in this case, walk around the fire, with this fellow? Are you scared to get married in general? Or is it just him?
Twenty-seven is by no means old in this day and age. It is certainly not young, but it is not at all old. It would be a perfect time for you to begin looking for another partner if this guy is not the one for you, however. Do not string this along if he is not the one.
Why don't you try one thing: Break it off for a while with him. Tell him that you both need to think things through and explore other options. See how you feel during this time. If he or you meet somebody else...then that is destiny. But, if you are compelled to be with each other again because you miss each other too much, then it could be your fate to be together.
Good luck =)
2007-03-08 10:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by shoshana 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all you are not old for marriage. In fact I think at 27, you are more mature now and really know what you want. If you feel doubts and reservations about your relationship with your B/F, then I would think about ending it. Also the extenuating circumstances with his mother and the fact that you do not get along, could be a very bad hindrance on both of you if you decide to marry him. I would tell him that you have alot of doubts and it is not working out anymore and you don't feel you want to get married. If you want to end it, you'd better do it now. Don't wait, because it won't get any better. I say...move on and start fresh, but remember one thing, if you leave him, be prepared for him to want to get you back...this will be a big decision....and you should think wisely about going back to him, because the situation will not have changed.
2007-03-08 09:52:42 · answer #6 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe 5 years in relationship is long enough for you to know whether the relationship is fit for marriage or not and mind you, you have to remove uncertainty from the relationship and get your bearing right. Also, since your guy loves you and wants to marry you, I believe you have no problem at all. All you need to do is to sit him down and discuss with him your fear about the mother. Also find out why the mother hatred towards you and make a change and you will definitely see the result. Therefore, you don't have to quit the relationship as long as your guy loves you and you love him too.
2007-03-12 04:52:17 · answer #7 · answered by ojo morenike baby yoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
27 is not too late for marriage, but girl don't be wasting time now on someone who is not right for you. DON'T WASTE THE PRETTY. These are the young years were you want to be looking for that person you want to settle down with. You have been with dude for 5 yrs and you don't know if you want to be with him? Take a break and find out. And what is this about his mom having to stay with you? That is a no go. Having a marriage with him alone will be hard enough but with his mom also will be virtually impossible. Maybe you can get an in-law suite or something. Ooh girl and you do not get along. He sounds like a momma's boy anyway and if that is the case you will never get along with his mom because you are coming between their relationship no matter what you do. Tell him he needs to get off his momma's nipple and get a backbone. If you are going to be his wife you need to know that you are going to be number one on his list, even before his momma. It is your house so you guys are the only two who make the decisions in it. I hope things work out for you.
2007-03-08 08:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by Lady A 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NEVER settle on a person just because you think you are getting too old and you have to settle down. This is the absolute worst reason to get married, and it can only end badly, especially if there are already some issues (like the situation with his mom). If you're feeling skeptical about it, then it's not where you should be. When you find the right person, whenever you find him, you'll know. You are still very young and you shouldn't feel pressured to marry someone you're not sure you want to be with. It's never too late to find the right person.
2007-03-08 08:22:08 · answer #9 · answered by Preston S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course this is a choice you will need to make yourself but 27 is not old at all I met my now wife and she was 28 when we met. Stop being so paranoid if you have problems with the mom then well it may be something you need to overcome or you need to find a new guy either way you have a difficult task ahead of yourself. Good luck in whatever you decide I think the mom needs to leave the picture before you can really make a strong decision on staying or leaving. Who cares if she is a single mom she can't live on her own??
2007-03-08 09:15:18 · answer #10 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm only 32... and I would say... 27 is young... I am just now realizing how much I don't know yet... I think you just start understand yourself... right around the age you are now... and into your 30's... anyways I digress...
I don't think there is ever a good time to get married... or a bad one... the thing is... it is a decision... if you think you are ready for that type of commitment... then any time is equaly good and bad...
If you wait for the perfect time in your life it may never come...
That being said... don't marry someone just out of lazziness or fear you will not find another... I think to be truly happy in a relationship you have to be ready to be alone... or to say it more directly... you aren't ready for a healthy relationship with someone else until you are able to be healthy and happy by yourself...
Good luck!
2007-03-08 08:23:10 · answer #11 · answered by AvidBeerDrinker 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋