The bible tells you to forgive and let go but doesn't tell you how, so how do you do it?

Question

Everytime i think I've forgiven, i find my heart dwelling on it the next day - it always comes back.

Answer 1

Blanket forgiving is counterproductive. Don't worry if you think about things that trouble you, including people that trouble you. It's only when you obsess about something that you should really rethink why you are obsessing.

You should only forgive someone if there is a reason to forgive the person. It's bad to hold a grudge for no reason. However, if there is a reason to not like a person, then you don't like that person. Perhaps in the future, the person will change or you will change and you might be able to make amends. But it is not something you really need to obsess about.

Everybody has their good and bad points. You are not required to be everybody's friend. And friendship is not black and white. It's not an on and off switch. You'll like different people in different amounts for different reasons. That is natural.

Don't beat yourself up for being human.

Answer 2

Hi J, sometimes forgiveness is a process. We are only human. Sometimes God gives us the power to supernaturally forgive and you have no doubt you have forgiven. Try not to beat yourself up (if that's what your doing). You could ask the Lord to help you understand why you can't let go. The Bible also doesn't say how long it's supposed to take, there is no perfect instruction. God knows your heart and He alone can change it....

Answer 3

First, forgiveness doesn't mean trying to believe it never happened. (That would be silly.)

Forgiveness means letting go of the anger, and it is at least as much for your benefit as for the person you are forgiving. It takes a lot of practice and prayer.

Perhaps the best way to facilitate forgiveness is to try to do something good for the person that needs forgiving. It really doesn't matter whether the person accepts the help or not.

Pray for the person's health or happiness. You needn't even tell the person you are doing this. Repeat every time the anger comes back.

(Yes this is all much easier said than done, and I'm still working on it myself.)

Answer 4

Forgiveness is a choice and a really hard one sometimes. I remember a few years ago meeting an ex-teacher who had abused me at school and my initial reaction was one of wanting to go over and smack him but then God reminded me of how much He had forgiven me, so after having an argument with God, I went up to this guy and told him that I forgave him for what he had done to me.

I have never felt such a release from things in my life! Years of counselling disappeared in an instant and I even gave the guy a hug! Because when God's in it, He can work miracles.

Write down the person's name and ask God to pour out His blessings on them. As soon as you think it comes back - just ask God to bless them and encourage them and love them. It won't stay around for very long!!

You're doing fantastic and God thinks you're brilliant!! xx

Answer 5

Johnno...I know, it seems so simple on the outside, but when you actually try and practice it, it is perhaps the hardest of the things we are asked to do. I think that every day you must once again remind yourself that the act must be forgiven (not necessarily forgotten). I would also suggest that you pray for the person you wish to forgive. Best of luck.

PEACE2

Answer 6

Sounds like it's something that jagged your sense of self-cherishment and that can really get the storyline fired up in your mind (I know from experience). Best thing to do is to realize that the EASIEST thing to do is just... drop it. Seriously. Is it worth carrying around all that irritation and anger when you'd rather be HAPPY?

Think about the concept that people do what they do, due to the causes and conditions in their life that makes them who they are... all things they do arise from THAT... not everyone can see everything as clearly as others, so if you think about it, then toss in the idea of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" (not the "do unto others and run like heck") you realize that there are times you've irritated other people and they forgave you... try the same. Not saying it's going to be easy but give it a whirl.

_()_

Answer 7

If someone has hurt you, stolen from you; taken your woman or otherwise abused you. Then you will have to let it go; forget about taking revenge; being obstructive, spiteful or in anyway fantasize about harming them then you have to use the 'Full Armour of God' in Ephesians 6: 10-. You have to use the authority that Jesus gave you to combat the wiles of the enemy. By using the Full Armour of God you can command such revengeful thoughts to go in Jesus name. The Holy Bible says "My Weapons of Warfare are Mighty" "With Them I will Pull Down Strongholds"

Answer 8

Give it to the Lord in prayer, and resist the temptation to solve it yourself. He will do with the situation whatever He feels is the best way to handle the person you can't find the means to forgive.

When you say it always comes back, what you are saying is you always take it back. You want to solve it rather than let God solve it.

grace2u

Answer 9

It's the heart that wants to forgive that God can work with.

Alot of people put their confidence in people and not their trust in God.

So when that flesh person dies....then what?

Its always better to trust the Lord then put your confidence in Man.

Answer 10

The accept the fact you have not forgiven and stay with the incident and feelings until you understand why you can't let it go.

You are holding onto it...that is why is does not go.

Understanding is all.

If you understood well enough, it would already be gone. With understanding, much happens of its own accord.

~ Eric Putkonen