Does my teenage son hate me?

Question

He is a good young man. However he respects, listens, and ciconversate with everyone but me. I am a single mother and I know that very soon he will be an adult. If lunch isn't prepared by the time he gets home he goes into his room and plays video games for hours with doors securely locked. He obeys rules yet the communication is gone. Help me get my son back before I lose him forever.

Answer 1

I recall my mother saying of my brother "I didn't raise him to be like that" My response was-"Yes, you did" You say that your son respects & obeys the rules. So make a new rule. Put a time limit on his video games. I'm betting that amongst the rules and guidelines in your home there is a time for chores, a time for meals, a time for homework, etc. Make a time-at the dinner table, maybe-for communication. Make a date night-even if it's only to go get a coffee or hot chocolate-ice cream works, too. A Sunday drive isn't out of the realm of possibilities, either. lol Nothing like trapping a kid in a car with you for an hour or so. These are all good ways to have some alone time with your son, but don't be above his interests. Take a minute to learn about some of those video games that he plays-pick up a controller and play a game with him. If he feels that you can identify with him he will be more apt to talk to you about some of the deeper stuff. Talk to your own male family members or close friends about what they were going through at that age. Face it-you and I have no idea what these adolescent boys are REALLY going through. I am also a single mother with two boys who are not so very far away from being grown. I constantly worry about the day that they will be gone: Will they still come for Sunday dinner? Did I teach them how to properly shake hands-and do they know what it means? (lesson learned from mom) Will these good boys be GREAT men? I'm a rather modest person who had to learn to be more open with my children then I ever cared to think that I would be. But I know that because I've done that my children feel that they can (& have) come to me about anything from a bad day at school, bullies, sex, a good grade on a hard test, the new girl they really like, to drugs. They have even learned that they should tell me about the trouble they got into long before I get the call from school-thankfully, those days are rare. I've babbled a bit, but this is what works for me in my house with my kids.

Answer 2

I'm only 15, but I come from a big family and growing up I've seen five of my brothers go through all of the stages, and trust me, it is a normal phase. It may pass soon and it may stay for a long time, I remember all my brother did was play computer games and it made him really an angry person! If you take his games console He won't be happy, but he will gradually how out of the phase. But in answer to your question, I say it is normal to hate your son sometimes. You work so hard and in return you get an ungrateful, lazy boy who uses up all the electricity! Anyway, don't worry too much about it, try to deal with it and one day he will be grown up and be mature and you will be proud of him :) Hope I helped xx

Answer 3

of course he doesn't hate you, but maybe he feels somewhat distant from you.. if you had gone through a divorce it could have gotten to him.. he may just be going through a phase.. most teenage boys dont get into deep conversations with their mothers because they get embarrassed for some odd reason but maybe you should try to having a nice dinner together, have a normal conversation using humor to start instead of trying to have a serious conversation at all times, don't pry too hard because that might just annoy him even more... teenagers are tough to understand.. very betwixed and between and you can never know wat to expect... it could just be a natural phase.. this is a tough situation and you may just have to talk to him about it although he should grow out of it.. i hope this helped you a little bit.. good luck with everything, i hope you start getting closer again! : )

Answer 4

I don't think he hates you, I think he is a teenager that wants nothing to do with his parents, and as crappy as that sounds, its completely normal. I went through it, I thought my parents were the stupidest people alive and didnt care to see or speak to them unless absolutly necessary, but I grew out of it and he will to. Just keep pluggin at him here or there and be their for him when he does come to you...it will be fine I promise!

Answer 5

For one thing, get rid of the video games and the lock on his door. He will be upset about it, but at least it will open the lines of communication. Try to get him to talk to you. Don't ask him "how was school", but find out what he's interested in other than video games - or I suppose you could offer to play one with him. Personally, I believe most parents give their children too much and that contributes to the communication gap. Children who have tvs, computers, video games, DVD players, cell phones, stereos in their rooms have no REASON to communicate with family members.

Answer 6

Teenagers are by nature anti-social creatures who hate their parents. He'll out grow it if you leave him alone when he wants and is there for him only when he wants.

Answer 7

It sounds like you have done something to alienate him and he is trying to avoid problems by avaiding getting into arguments with you.

Try using humor to initiate conversation and refrain from nagging, threatening, being negative and interrogating.

Answer 8

Sit him down and talk to him when he gets home. Ask him but dont sound too desperate. Talk in a soft tone of voice and be nice. Talk to him. Ask.

Answer 9

Respect him for who he is and when he is older, you will have a better relationship with him. Right now it pretty unlikely.