How can i respond when people make rude comments about my family/kids?

Question

i have 16 kids (some are mine, some adopted) with 2 on the way. they are all beautiful and for the most part well-bahaved (if you want to know the family story see my previous ques.)when we go out somewhere it's the same thing "ever heard of birth control", "are you mormon". a whole bunch a rude and nasty comments. i always try to ignore them, but it sometimes it hurts the younger ones feelings (especially the adopted ones) when people say that. once my 7 year old tried to run away because some man said "i highly doubt you want all those kids, you were just too lazy to use a condem". how can i stop this. the older ones just turn their heads and walk on. but it's still hurtfull.

Answer 1

Girl, I can understand how hard this must be and unfortunately we live in a world where if you are different than everyone else you stand out to take the butt of every ones ignorance.In truth anyone who really was worth caring about would at least have the decency to try and realize that you are a loving person and have done alot to help those that needed someone to love them.
All you can do is help your kids to understand why people can be like that and help them to understand that they don't really know you guys and your real story so instead they assume that you are some kind of baby factory.Just help your kids to strengthen their resistance to peoples opinions and always tell them how much you love them and that if anyone says any different they are not telling the truth.
You cant keep anyone from making comments, all you can do is try and strengthen your kids from it hurting them.And believe it or not this will only help them to be stronger in their adult life.Stand up for them by being a loving mom and always showing it and in the end nothing will break their spirit.
Good luck and god bless you.

Answer 2

Wow! It sure looks like you live in a very, very rude place. You might need to sit down with your family first and talk about each other feelings when these comments are heard. While talking about this feelings, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to discuss/ find out what to answer to these people's comments. I'm sure many answers will not be polite, and some will make you all laugh and that can be the best first step in handling the situation. Having them make suggestions will help them to feel closer together and your attitude towards it will make all the difference. So, make sure you're calm and not upset while talking about it and together you can find creative ways to shut people up. It might also help to decide who's to say or not to say anything. Older ones can help you respond to rude persons too. Having your kids act polite and keep their manners will shut them too. If other young kids are the ones bothering, you can just ignore them, but have the older ones look step up as to make them quit bothering the others. Obviously, you have great patience and understanding, share that with your loved ones, even the little ones.

Answer 3

this is a hard question because there isn't really a lot you can do unless you want to say something else rude back. Some people can do that, but some people don't like to return the "favor." It sounds like it hurts your children a lot, so I'd tell whoever it is that you love all of your children and you're glad to have them. That should at least make your kids feel better. I really don't see what's wrong with you 16 kids period, so you must be good parents and if people can't see that then they aren't worth you or your family's time.

Answer 4

I don't think having a prepared response will be of much use. It would be confrontational and a little petty.

Just say the truth about what you are feeling at the time. Allow them to acknowledge the truth about their statements by keeping it real.

If you need to, you could include something about how you are very fortunate to be able to provide for, not only your natural children, but for many adopted children who otherwise would not have a good home.

Answer 5

I would just say something religious to them....
it throws people off and it may make them think the white trash comments they are making.
My friend is adopting a baby from Africa and she already has 2 small children. They don't have a lot of money and they live in a small apartment and people are always making comments. Waste of money, why are bringing in that... why don't you buy a house instead of a baby....
She always just quotes a bible or religious comment back to them... and she is very religious but I have feeling you are too with 16 kids :) And that always takes people back and makes them feel stupid and they have to rethink their comments. Plus it makes you look like the bigger better person and your not "defending" yourself.

Answer 6

Children are a blessing from G-d and those who are responsible when they have children are very giving people. Some mothers have kids and only raise them to get them to leave, then there are those who actually see the value of raising good person in this world. The only thing we need for evil to triumph is for good people to sit back and do nothing. It seems to me that you are being proactive and trying to raise a family to counteract people like that. You could tell your kids to consider the source. Who cares what other people think. They don't pay your bills or raise your kids so phooie on them.

Answer 7

You've got to relax and develop a sense of humor.

Anything out of the norm is going to get comments, whether it's because you're 7' tall, have 16 kids, or only have one leg.

There are idiots everywhere...don't let their comments get you down.

Besides...Mormons often have large, well-behaved families and are nice people...take it as a compliment.

Answer 8

I have 8 people in my family, also blended. Firmly, but not exultingly, tell these people giving you a hard time that you love your children, and are glad to have every single one of them. They are just being rude and ignorant. If anything, you should feel sorry for THEM for not experiencing the great blessing that you have.

Answer 9

People are retarded! I would find things to say that totally make them think about life in general. I PRAISE you for having all those kids, I have four and I'm wiped out! lol.....here's what I'd say to the comments you mentioned.

Ever hear of birth control? "Yes, I wish your mother would have used it"

Are you Mormon? "No...we're Satan worshipers...HAIL SATAN!"

I highly doubt you want all those kids "We didn't but when my sister and brother were killed in a horrible car accident, we decided to raise them all ourselves"

I'd find funny and sarcastic ways to respond. Make the kids laugh a little.

My husband likes to say "these are our four little miracles.(people are usually like awwwwww) then he says "...miracle I let them live"...they're never quite sure how to respond..but we all crack up!

Answer 10

Teach the children that there is in this world a lot of anti- children dorks. Rude and self-centered, they have no idea what great love you must have that you are willing to value and adopt other people's children giving them a good home.
You should get Tshirts made up in various colors saying-
"I love ALL my kids..comments are not appreciated".
Or 'mind your own business I love them more than you hate'.