I am 20 years old, I live, most of the year, in a dorm away from home. My mom still grounds me, usually for leaving the house without asking, or having my boyfriend visit me in my dorm without letting her know. She also opens my mail, answers the phone pretending to be me, and I have reason to believe shes been filling out job applications in my name. Is this normal????
2007-03-08 07:47:03 · 15 answers · asked by ☭ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I do act like an adult? I mean, I am responsible, I get good grades, and I work. I don't do drugs or anything like that, I'm not sure why she is so suspicious and weird about things.
2007-03-08 07:56:23 · update #1
She will stop as soon as you let her know that you won't put up with it. Is she paying for your school and holding it over your head or something. Let her know that you love her but enough is enough. Eventually she will respect your strength.......but until then be firm and don't back down.
2007-03-08 08:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by krysmaslily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not normal behavior with your mom. She needs to know that you are now over 18 and an adult. She is stepping over boundaries and not letting your be that responsible adult. She is invading your privacy by opening your mail and pretending to be you. You should try getting a PO Box number instead and keep a cell phone with you.
You need to have a talk with her and find out why she is doing these type of things. It could be that she hasn't let you go yet as she letting her little girl go. She needs to know that what she is doing is wrong and she can get into trouble for her opening up your mail.
Talk to her and find out what is her problem.
2007-03-08 07:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is far from normal, this is why at 19 i lived my life entirely without my mother's input. No one has the legal right to open your mail, even it's at her address, inpersonate you, nor apply for jobs in your name, all she could do [legallly] is bring home the applications for you. why in heaven's name do you allow her to ground you? that is hideous, are you normal mentally?You are over 18, by 2 years. She is trying to live her life thorugh you, and imposing on your freedom. Your relationship with your B.F. is entirely none of her business.
Set some rules now, you are a college student. not a child in high school, but she will never respsect you as an adult unless you put your foot down, Do not go home except as a guest. Next time you go there, grab your important things and bring them somehwere else, most likely she is breaking the law by puting you down as her dependent also on her income taxes,[as far as i know] but not if you don't live there at least 6 months out of the year. if you work you can claim yourself.
Anyway, I wouldn't trust her for anyhting.
2007-03-08 07:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put in a change of address at the post office.
Don't give out mom's number as your number.
Open a checking account in your name only.
Get a car and insurance in your own name.
Take summer classes and stay in the dorm over the summer so you only come home for visits.
Get a job and start paying your own bills so she doesn't have a reason to treat you like a child.
2007-03-08 07:56:09 · answer #4 · answered by littleredhen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would put my foot down and let her know that you are 20 years old, your an adult and you want to start getting treated like one.It is not okay what she is doing! My parents were like that too and i moved out on them. I would get a cell phone, have my mail transferred over to my dorm if it's possible, and most important of all let her know that your not a kid anymore so if you want your bf to come over and visit you then so be it. If she don't like it then she can tend to herself and worry about what's going on in her own life.
2007-03-08 08:21:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lindsay C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAA... Glad to hear I wasn't the only one..... it didn't stop with me until I moved out and she still drives me nuts. I was 24 saving for a house working full time at a good job and she use to open up my credit card bills and freak out on how much I spent on clothes or shoes.... I need suits for work!! And I couldn't have anyone call the house cause she would "brake" up with guys and cancel dates when I wasn't home. She even screamed at one guy that he better come over the house to meet her first!!! Oh my!! I know how you feel. All you can do is get a job and get out!! LOL
But I feel your pain!!
2007-03-08 07:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 35 and my mother still tries. Just be strong but respectful. When you are home you are living in your parents house and you need to follow their rules. If you can't handle that then you should move out.
2007-03-08 07:52:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most parents especially the controlling ones will stop controlling your life, when :
You get a job.(Finish school first)
Move out of their house.
Pay your bills.
2007-03-08 07:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by Pink_Zirconia!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
parent are very lovely sweet n beautiful gifts by the god when thay stop controling in child life then child become a animal n bad prson
2007-03-08 14:20:35 · answer #9 · answered by ravi_ravi772 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They stop when you start acting like an adult. Your mother "grounds you"???? What are you, ten? Assert yourself like an adult then maybe you'll get treated like one.
2007-03-08 07:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋