My boyfriend met a girl at his old job two months ago. they became friends and i found out a little later of their friendship, he talked to me about her, but only til i found out he developed a friendship with her, she claims they are only friends, he introduce her to me but i never seem to have like her and i still dont like the girl, but he does and he wants to hang out with her. He claims she's cool, now she's 6 yrs younger then me. he's 3 yrs younger then me. What do i do?
2007-03-08 07:41:18 · 20 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you suspect that he wants to be more htan a friend with her.
You should communicate that you feel that way towards him. Those are your honest feelings and you should be able to be honest with your partner.
People are often on a big kick of trying to act cool like they trust their S/O, but, try finding 10 people who haven't been cheated on in a random sample. People walk right into temptation and think they are invincible. People are selfish and greedy on the inside and his selfishness will come out if they keep hanging out. You know this.
Talk to him, tell him it makes you uncomfortable, and if he desperately needs a friend so bad that he'd want to be friends with her even though it made his lover uncomfortable, maybe he needs to find someone else. That's not right.
If I had a habit, like biting my nails, that made my lover uncomfortable, and she told me, I would stop. Your boyfriend has a habit of talking to and befriending other girls that you do not approve of. Would you be willing to drop a male friend that made him feel uncomfortable? If yes, then, you can expect the same from him.
Good luck with it.
2007-03-08 07:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before I try to answer this question, I need to ask a couple of my own. Does their friendship seem like its more than what they say it is? Does he act differently when he is speaking to her verses how he talks to other girls? Do they have friends in common with eachother? Each answer to those questions could change the outcome of how I proceed with this one. It could just be the fact that they worked together and started out as "remember how bad this was..." or "wasn't so and so such a crazy person..." After a short period of conversations like this people just become friends. He might not have mentioned it because it was such a simple friendship that he didn't consider it being anything worth mentioning. On the other hand if he DOES act differently when speaking to her or it definately seems like it is more than what they make it out to be I would keep note of how things progress from that day forward. In all relationships fighting over the little things will get you nowhere. When you look back on the things you fought over you usually realize that you could have been a lot happier if you would have let the little things slide and only fought over the larger issues. It could either be nothing to worry about or something to follow a little closer but don't let any insecurities about age push you toward the latter. Hope it ends up being a non-issue. Good luck.
2007-03-08 07:58:01 · answer #2 · answered by randomfacts22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems as if your guy is determined to be her friend. If I were you I would be more concerned about how his friendship with her means more to him than your feelings. I guess all you can do is trust him. At least he introduced you to her. If she is single, maybe you and him can introduce her to a single guy. If not, I'd say this will really be a test of your trust for him. Personally, I am not ashamed to say, I would not like it at all! People can they it is being insecure to worry, but the combinations sounds dangerous to me. But as I said earlier, what can you do, he sounds more determined on maintaining his friendship with her than for your feelings. That is an indication in it self that something is wrong with your relationship you have with him. Wish I could have helped you more.
2007-03-08 07:50:10 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with JKjudge. When someone is in a relationship they need to be careful not to open doors to temptation they might not be able to resist.
If they are just friends he should be comfortable having you around. Invite her over for movie night or whatever and see if you can learn to like her.
Maybe see if you can set her up with guy friend of yours by inviting a single guy over too. If your BF reacts badly to your offer to set-her up that would be a bad sign.
I feel for you. Stay strong and deal with this positively. You deserve to be treated well. Take the bull by the horns. Pretend to love her and want to hang out with them. Compliment her etc... you will then be the better person regardless.
2007-03-08 07:52:51 · answer #4 · answered by cathoratio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with him when he says that she'll be there. It's the only way that the whole "forbidden" thing will lose its flavor and she can get the hint that he is not up for grabs.
Even better...become friends with her. It will make it a lot harder to think about doing something inappropriate.
It can just be an infatuation, but if you are always there probably it won't amount to anything more.
Good luck
2007-03-08 07:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by Georgie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you can't control what your boyfriend does. The best thing to do is to make friends with her and go with him when they hang out. That way you can make sure nothing is going on.
Other than that, just trust him, that is the basics of any relationship.
2007-03-08 07:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by Jared P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is bothering you, you should let him know. if you trust this man then it really shouldn't bother you. This should make you realize where you stand in this relationship now. The most important thing is communication though, don't carry around this heartache and torment yourself. you must verbalize your feelings. I wish you the best of luck and i hope everything works out for the best.
2007-03-08 07:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by aphotic nostrum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol...hun,i just got home right now after meeting up with this girl who my man introduced me as his "friend" and after months of hangin out with her n stuff,i had this weird gutt feeling so i asked him if they had ever been more than friends and he said yes...it made me mad and stuff...but i dealt it with him and today i dealt it with her...honey,u have two choices...either be a ***** about the situation OR kill em with ur kindness..which basically means,u hand them the rope and they hang themselves...i learnt that today...
Be honest,confront him about it,tell him how u feel...coz maybe ure over analyzing it...if not,and ur gutt instincts tell u otherwise,talk to her...seriously..keeping it in u is only going to make matters worse coz its gonna frustrate u and ure gonna frustrate him and its gonna be hell from then on...so be honest...remember,no matter how much u care about someone,no one is worth losing urself over...Pride doesnt work in relationships,but self-dignity does...
G'luck hun!
2007-03-08 07:49:17 · answer #8 · answered by TitaWidTheGoldenVoice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without trust and honesty there is no relationship. In your case there appears to be a lacking of both.
If he's unwilling to make the sacrifice for you, then he apparantly doesn't take you're relationship as seriously as he does his own whims. Likewise, if you're unwilling to trust him and be assured of your relationship - it's just as bad.
2007-03-08 07:45:36 · answer #9 · answered by wigginsray 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if u trust ur boyfriend then leave it alone..let him know how u feel about the situation and if he reassures u have nuthin to worry about then leave it alone but if he puts yher needs ahead of ur guys relationship then thats a no no..if he sees u less and her more thats a no no...give him some trust but if he loses your trust then get rid of him..good luck!
2007-03-08 07:44:47 · answer #10 · answered by jaysangel040106 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋