I'm friends with these two girls that I hung out with today, and one of them I like more than a friend lets just Call her AM because thats her intials, and she knows I like her more than a friend. Anyways I really like spending time with them because they are fun to hang out with. But for some reason I just think they are using me. I've always said yes to them about giving them rides to school, and to hang out. I know I shouldn't buy for them all the time, but I kind of feel guilty if I don't. I think i should pay for them bcuz I'm the guy and I do have some money not a lot bcuz I'm only 18, I do drive a nice car which could be part of the using right there. I don't want to risk losing thier friendship, and I'm not being a pushover but how can I tell if they are using me to get rides, to buy them lunch, etc.? Like I said I really like hanging out them, but I just don't know if they feel the same way. I know the easy way is to just ask them but is there any other way to tell?
thanks
2007-03-08 07:13:13 · 12 answers · asked by BAS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Should I call to see if they ever want to hang out on the weekends? bcuz we always hang out during the day during the week, but for some reason not on the weekends.
2007-03-08 07:14:27 · update #1
just to ask them b/c there really isn't any other way to find out
2007-03-08 08:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by pocahontas 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just from what you said they may be using you. You are the guy, but since you aren't really going out like dating any of them you are not really obligated to pay for them every time you hang out. If they have never offered to pay for something, they are probably using you. I mean when girls have guy friends they usually offer to pay and they do pay sometimes. The only way to know for sure is to see if they'll take more responsibility when you hang out, like paying for things. Oh and just stop giving them rides all the time. I mean you should see how they react when you ask them to pay for something or you don't always offer them a ride. If they say okay that's cool, then the probably aren't using you. If they get mad and you never see them again then they were probably using you.
2007-03-08 15:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, you're not being rude if you say no once in a while. If they're really your friends and like spending time with you then they'll understand. Don't ask them. It will make the situation more akward. If you think they're genuine friends let them pick up the tab once in a while or drive you to school. You should ask them to hang out during the weekends then you'll know for sure. Good Luck!
2007-03-08 15:22:18 · answer #3 · answered by Becca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm. Lots of info, but still hard to tell. Why don't you ask them to hang out on weekends? That would tell you something right there! And if you are feeling like you pay for it all, there is nothing wrong with calmly saying that you shouldn't have to pay all the time and could they offer every now and then. I have to admit that teenagers are really bad about sponging off of others. You have to learn to stick up for yourself without being rude and insensitive. Looks like you at least recognize that there could be a problem.
2007-03-08 15:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop acting like you've been victimized. You ride them around in your car and buy them lunch, etc..... Do you do this for all your friends? I'm betting no. They aren't using you....you are BUYING them. You know the deal....that's why you feel "kinda guilty" when you don't pay.
2007-03-08 15:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are getting played! Are they always asking you for rides to places like stores ,tanning, or anything else that would constitute errand running and not hanging out? If you say yes then you should know the answer to your question!
2007-03-08 15:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by Brian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely ask them to hang out on the weekend. If you enjoy their company, that's great.
But, don't pay their way! I'm a woman and I certainly don't expect a male friend to buy my lunch!
My suggestion is to not offer. They should not expect it.
2007-03-08 15:28:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are using let them pay for themselves and like say your busy or you have to go to school way early and to hang out say your busy let them call you and only pay for them once in a while.
2007-03-08 15:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should talk to them and try to get to know them better and see if they would like to hang out with you more or do something just get to know who they really are on the inside and not who they are just putting out to be. good luck sometime friends dont always turn out like they seem
2007-03-08 15:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by ~ashley~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your setting youself up to be used. run late one day don't offer them a ride. say that you forgot your wallet one day to. call them to hang out on the weekend.
2007-03-08 15:19:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give em a cold shouler for a day then the next day come up with a fake reson(your hamster died and you just werent feeling like talking to anyone)if they are sypathetic and nice they like you. if they turn into evil psycho b*tches, drop 'em like rotten sh*t
2007-03-08 15:20:15 · answer #11 · answered by lalanoesbest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋