I am in a situation where If I get married to current bf (who I love very much), I will end up staying with my MIL. Her hubby died a long time ago and my bf is the only son. I have read and heard some horrifying MIL stories on the web. I am scared and want to know if there is still hope to be happy if I stay with my MIL. Currently she doesnt like me since we are of different castes and she doesnt even want to talk to me. But I am hoping htat if I could win her over with love and affection. Am I dreaming of Utopia? Some comments please!
2007-03-08 06:58:39 · 32 answers · asked by Lucky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Certainly it can be peaceful. Lots of extended families live together happily. Stories on the web are just somebody's stories, not yours. BUT you've just said she doesn't like you, doesn't talk to you. I don't think marrying her son and moving in with her is going to make her disposition any sunnier. Has the "love and affection" strategy shown any promise so far?
2007-03-08 07:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
u r boy friend is only the son u mother in law have. it all depends on u r perceiption. ur mil may think that u will snatch him away from her. so long u take her suggestions and make her life happy she will receprocate. if u try to have seperate family after marriage then the problem starts. since u are confident u may treat her with respect and affection and with utmost sincerity there is a possiblity that u r life will be peaceful. generally boys dont accept girls who wants distance from their mothers.this is the secret andnever tell to ur bf agaibnst his mother. all the best. remember what u will give u will get it in the same manner. good luck.
2007-03-08 21:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by sabu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
staying with a mil however modern is difficult
even if she has been nice and has atleast outwardly accepted u once u move in with her there are bound to be your daily dose of khitpit and since unfortunately she has not taken a fancy to you chances of your winning her over r nil
these things happen only in movies where all the characters shed tears hug and live happily together
add to that she has been a single parent and he the only son
and u being from the different caste do think about it and take a decision
2007-03-08 22:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by sbs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never in future will b able to stay with ur MIL, your family life will b spoiled, my advise to u is, u & ur bf should stay in a different house little far away from ur MIL's house. Being ur FIL expired, ur MIL will never allow his son to be parted from her life.
Yes u r dreaming of UTOPIA which will never in the mankind will come true. Be cautious and take a wise step.
May God Bless U
2007-03-08 08:53:45 · answer #4 · answered by Rajan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I'd like to say NO HOUSE is large enough for 2 women
especially when one of those women is your mother-in-law! I also believe that anything is possible and things can change at
any time. People can change as well but ONLY if they want to. It sure sounds as though you are off to a real rough start and if she
doesn't want to accept you as her son's girlfriend, chances are she's going to accept your being his wife alot less. Rough when she doesn't even have enough respect for her son to at least speak to or try even for her son's sake to be civil to the one he plans to marry. I suggest you try speaking to your BF in search of any suggestions he may have regarding this,this will if nothing else show him that you are willing to extend the olive branch. You could have a sit down with her (she doesn't have to speak back in order to hear you)and explain that you love her son and because of that love, what matters to him matters to you. You may even add that one of the things that you admire most about him is the close relationship that he shares with his mother. Thank her for bringing someone so wonderful into the world. Let her know that you want to know everything about him as a child. Keep in mind though some people are just miserable and misery loves company and you can't please them no matter what you do! Good Luck!
2007-03-08 07:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by RosieAngel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know of a girl whose mother-in-law made her wait for 4 long years to give her consent. and was as stubborn as a mule. still the girl loved her man v. much. and was ready to put up with all nonsense. At last , when the mother-in-law did consent, she came to live with them. Her husband too. Do you think the girl is miserable?. No. the foursome travel together. and after the girl had two kids, together they take care of them. The man is a free bird. no tension of bringing up a family. the parent-in-laws even sent them on Europe tour. second honeymoon..
My parent-in-laws were dead ,when I got married. everyone thought I was v. lucky. Not at all. being owners of lot of landed property, we had to fight tooth and nail with brothers and relatives for our right. so many times I had wished my parent-in-laws were alive.
So folks, don't have pride and prejudices. Even If your mother came to live with you, she would be a nuisance.
Besides, as you say, her hubby died long time ago. so if you take away her only son, where does she go? Have heart. Don't panic.
2007-03-09 00:54:52 · answer #6 · answered by kumarcl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all the best to you. with love you can love anything
but some fools cant understand
deal delicately human relations are very delicate these mil are like that only the know it at the end of life not know knowing in the being let there be light
oh lord change the lucky's mil into good one pleaseeee......
2007-03-08 07:16:46 · answer #7 · answered by The Prince of Egypt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you are so brave. I really wouldn't do it. Not only would living with your mother in law make you crazy, but it will cause tension between you and your man. The last thing that a newlywed couple needs is a meddling troublemaker around every corner trying to sabotage your relationship. I really think that it is biologically imposible for two women to share a household peacefully.
2007-03-08 07:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by MrsLuzius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AAAGGHHHH!!!! if she doesn't like you now I'm thinking your going to have a rough time living with her, especially if your man is her only child. Maybe a long extended engagement until she moves on (if you know what i mean). I loved my husbands mother and we got along well, but I would have strangled her if I would have had to live with her. If you cant wait, maybe a place with a guest house! I don't, I'm just gonna wish the best of luck ! just remember when you marry someone, you marry the whole family!!!!
2007-03-08 07:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by michele_zanella 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter how good the relationship between the two of you his mom will always interfere. Whenever you want to voice your opinion he may say he's defending you but he's really defending mom!! That's a bad move!!! Don't move in with MIL please!! My fiance is still trying to divorce his Ex. Her & her mom won't let us get married!! He moved in with her mom after they got married. They slept in seperate rooms. Until they got their own apt. & then she started to come over everyday! Now they're seperated & everytime he picks up & drops off his son his MIL has to be there to say something. She always says she has to protect her daughter! But, her daughter has a baby with his ex-bestfriend.(the reason for their splitting up) Her & her mom blames My fiance for everything! Now the ex-friend goes through it worse! I hope this kind of helps you out!!
Good Luck!!!
2007-03-08 07:26:53 · answer #10 · answered by Sweetness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋