i have low self esteem and i have trouble making eye contact with people?

Answer 1

I used to be the same too, but confidence comes with age. Meantime, get used to the fact that you are not being analysed by everyone you meet - really, you are not that important - and start to live. After all, WHO CARES what people think of you, you are probably better than them anyway.

Answer 2

I am an 18 year old young man who has long curly brown hair. My hair began to get so long that it would cover my eyes. My friends told me that they felt "awkward" and "weirded out" because they couldn't see my eyes but I could see them. The moral of the story is that humans interact a lot by eye contact. I had to change my hair style so that people could see my eyes and I could make eye contact with them. I cannot stress eye contact enough. You can use it to drive home a point, to help hammer a punch line in a joke, to let the girl you like know that you're crushing on her etc. I understand you have a low self esteem but you know what eye contact really isn't that hard to work on. Simply force yourself to look right in the eyes of people as they talk and as you talk. People will notice and feel more connected to you and involved as you talk with them. Start out with friends and family that you're comfortable with (looking in their eyes at all times as you and they talk) and then move on to people you're meeting for the first time and people you don't know as well. You really need to apply some self-discipline here to change this bad habit because it is very important. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

I know how you feel, along time ago though I started to force myself to look people in the eye's when addressing them. I must tell you it makes a world of difference, you get more respect from people, they tend to take you more seriously and it makes you feel more in power (for lack of a better word). I find now, if I meet someone that can't make eye contact with me when I am talking to them I trust them less and really cant respect what they say.
I know it sounds hard, but just start to make yourself look at people in the eye and lock your eye's there, you will be very surprised at how different you will feel!
Hang in there you will be ok I hope it works for you. I still have an issue with low self esteem in certain situations but I now find myself much more confident in an all around aspect.

Answer 4

After reading a few responses let me just say this... IT'S NOT NECESSARY to look someone in the eye... look at their eyebrows... that way your compromising... you're giving them the connection they need without feeling like they are gawking back at you. I get the impression you may have a "skin problem" acne? that may be at the root of your insecurity maybe a little weight problem... what am I getting at? it's all superficial there is nothing wrong with you... we all have our own self-percieved "deficiencies" Remember no one... I MEAN NO ONE is ever going to look as closely at you as you will when you spot a tiny blemish in the mirror... people are just NOT that critical of each other... no to mention the invasion of private space you'd have to allow for someone to get that close a' look at you. YOU WANT TO MAKE AN IMMEDIATE IMPACT??? smile at everyone and all the time... I'm not talking walking around with a BIG sh*t eating grin... I'm talking a slight hardly noticable corner of the mouth up turn... It takes a little concentration to start...but once you get used to it it will feel natural and I guarantee your esteem will grow and so will the confidence.

Answer 5

Honestly I think we all suffer from a bit of low self esteem the difference between those who are the life of the party and you is that they have learned to control that little fear in us all. People do this by acting silly, joking, or focusing on what they know when in certain situations... some people just master this quicker than others.

I use to be one of the life of the party'ers now I find myself a social phobic because of now being deaf and I'm in my 40's. You litterally have to make yourself look at people, start by looking at strangers in passing, smile at them and make eye contact....think about it this way, they may be having the worse day of their life but when you smiled at them and made eye contact it made them feel better.... A smile lightens the day. I penned a phrase when I was younger and I will let you borrow it.... "If you see someone without a smile give them one of yours."

You can also just go to the mall and sit and watch people, grab ya a book on face reading and then use it while looking at people's faces this gives you something else to focus on and also teaches you alittle bit about the person you are looking at. Also someone made a good point here to look at someones noses, focus on a part of the face because the other person may not even notice you are not looking them in the eye.

As a retired hiring manager eye contact was an important part of the hiring process for us as well as the person we were considering to hire. Those that chose to focus their eyesight elsewhere showed a lack of interest in the job and were generally not hired as often. Although it wasn't the worse thing you could do or say, believe me there is much worse but it does help get you the job!

As far as getting the attention of someone you like, everyone has a fear of rejection....EVERYONE! So don't let your fear overcome you enjoying life, you are worthy to someone, you are special, you are of value, and there is someone probably many people who cherish you or will cherish you so find that special thing about you and focus on it. And again, "if you see someone without a smile give them one of yours!"

Good luck!

Answer 6

That is normal, I think. At various parts of my life I've suffered from low self esteem and had trouble asserting myself. Try to deal with the feelings of anxiety when around others by refocusing your energies elsewhere. That is a good step to be able to handle such a scourge as low self esteem. The key to self esteem is to learn to love ones self. Do it. It can take a while. It's a lifelong journey.

Answer 7

When People say they have low self esteem that makes it even harder for them to overcome the differcult task in life. I had low self esteem myself. But, I convinced myself that people would always lie to me in life unless I'd look them in the eyes while they are talking to me. This way I'll know if they are lying to me or telling the true. Start by talking to yourself in the mirror tell yourself all good things about you. It may sound crazy but, it's a start. Make sure you look into your eyes! If there are small children around or pets, talk to the about anything but make eye contact with them. Speak to them sincerely & let them know they can trust in you! Start off slow.

Good Luck!!

Answer 8

Try this technique: Go to a mirror in the privacy of your home and practice looking into your own eyes while speaking. Part of your low-self esteem may lie in your uncertainty as to how you appear to others. Once you see yourself and are able to make changes to mannerisms (if you don't like them), you will begin to assert control over your image and eye movements. Politicans, public speakers, actors, etc... use mirror training as a way of training themselves into confidence. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Start small. Try looking at their chin or mouth to start with (you might want to try this on the bus, or at the mall so you don't offend your friends or family). Make it a goal to say hello to three strangers each day. Then work your way to looking at their ear. Then their nose. Then try looking at the space between their noses, then work your way up to their eyes. I know it's weird, but it's not quite looking in their eyes, but does get you used to looking at people's faces.

Confidence and self-esteem is something you can build yourself, it just takes work and baby steps.

Answer 10

hi do you have a diagnosis of asbergers syndrome?
thats the symptoms that people suffer with due to that
look on uncommonforum.com its a forum where people will help you work on your esteem issues and get your confidence up