A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said,
"I've some bad news. You have cancer, you'd best put your affairs in order. "
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself
and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
"Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, & we celebrate when things aren't. In this case, things aren't. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini."
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end.
"I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends gave the woman their condolences, and they had a couple of more martinis.
2007-03-08 06:19:15 · 8 answers · asked by Snow Bunnie 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
"Mom, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS."
The woman said, "I don't want any of those b*tches sleeping with your father after I'm gone."
2007-03-08 06:20:22 · update #1
omg hahahahaha that was awesome!
2007-03-08 06:57:42 · answer #1 · answered by strgazer9113 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny! What a bitchy woman.
You can't win even if you die before her:
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "Becky my darling," he whispered
"Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."
He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have
something that I must confess."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!"
"I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "let the poison work."
2007-03-08 06:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by sprinting_turtle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was completely great! Best joke I've heard yet.
2007-03-08 06:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
funny in a twisted way.
2007-03-08 06:24:37 · answer #4 · answered by Zabes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pretty good
2007-03-08 10:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so-so
2007-03-08 06:22:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol...good one!
2007-03-08 06:24:52 · answer #7 · answered by taxi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cute!!!
2007-03-08 07:15:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋