LADIES---give me your input/advice....be mature please?

Question

So I went out with this girl few night ago for the first time, everything went fine but I need a womens opinions btw we are in late 20's
when I dropped her off back at her place, it was around midnight during weekday, she asked me if I want to come up, so I told her only if she wants me to come up. This is when she said I don't want to be rude or anything. I asked her if she had any movies we could watch but she didn't, so i told her I'll just let her go to sleep, she had to weak up early for jury duty
she leaned forward to give me a kiss, and so did i but I kissed her on the cheek and I think she was going for my lips. I should have at least walk her to the door....before she left she said call me when you get home , just want to make sure you got there alright
I know she is not that kind of a girl that would put out on a first date, and thats not what I'm looking for anyways so don't anyone suggest that
its not that I don't like her, because I do, she has everything I would look for in a girl, but I'm fresh (4months) out of a 5year relation ship and I think I might be intimidated by the whole thing
i'm totlay over my ex, i dont realy care about her anymore so thats not it...its just its been long time since i've been out on a “date”
I hope she didnt feel rejected, it wasnt my intention.before she left the car I asked her if she wants to go out again and she said sure. I have very strange work schedule and its hard for me to find time. We were supposed to meet the next day but i had to go to work and I wont be back till next weekend
was I right to decline the offer?
What would you girls think of me if it was you?
What should I do different next time around

Answer 1

grow a set.

Answer 2

I would think you might be worth something. Most guys are after the " uknowwhat" so for her to give you an offer which would have lead to that situation and for you to decline just reassures her you are not after the goods only. By kissing her on the cheek She probably thinks you care about getting to know her. It sounds like everything went well with u two. There was nothing wrong with what u did. Also though i would talk to her to make sure you guys are on the same page. Let her know your work schedule is crazy so its hard to find time but that doesnt mean you dont want to go out with her so ask if she can understand so she wont think you are avoiding her. Also tell her right now you want to take things slow, you are fresh out of a relationship and you wanna have fun. She should understand if she doesnt you might be too good for her

Answer 3

I don't think she felt rejected. You were definately right to decline her offer. Even though you may have taken it as she wanted you to come up for "a hook up", she may not have meant it that way at all. I would think that you were a very sweet guy, and that you have good morals. That is surely something that women look for in men. Don't feel intimidated at all with the situation. If you aren't confident in yourself and your actions then she will pick up on that. Low confidence is a big turnoff, but you need to find a happy medium. Romance is always a good thing. Bring her flowers, open door and mind your manners. Those things were invented for a reason, and they do work. I promise. Good luck!

Answer 4

If you like her, ask her out again...even if just for coffee if that's all your schedule allows. Call now and then so she'll know you are still interested.

If I were her, I'd have wondered at your level of interest due to your behavior, and if you didn't call in a couple of days or so then I'd assume it was a brush-off.

Next time you speak with her, just be straight up and tell her you hope she didn't find your behavior odd, and explain why you did what you did and that you're still trying to find your "dating groove" after being off the scene for several years.

Communicate...that's a key to any successful relationship, romantic or otherwise.

Answer 5

Good for you--at least you have the guts to examine your behavior and what you could have done differently. That shows maturity in itself. You're right that you should have walked her to her door--that's what gentlemen do. I suggest that you bring flowers the next time you pick her up for a date. Be upfront about your hectic work schedule and try to stay in touch periodically just to stay up on things. I hope you called the next day to tell her that you had a wonderful time. You may want to check out an etiquette book on dating....Emily Post has a chapter for modern dating rules. You should also tell her at some point that you're fresh out a long term relationship, that you have closure on that relationship, but aren't sure how to proceed at this point. It's never good to go on and on about an ex--but she may be relieved that you haven't been a 'player' for most of your life. I'd take time with the relationship, get to know her better, find out more about each other's habits, preferences, goals, priorities, etc. You seem like you have the patience and perserverence needed. And you should plan fun things to do on future dates....girls like guys who are willing to make the effort to ensure they have a good time. Try to be a good listener so you can ask follow up questions in later conversations and she'll know you're interested. Find a way to work a suprise into future dates....anything that you think would make her smile. This could be any number of things...a carriage ride in the park, getting the waiter to bring out a special dessert you know she likes, even leaving a card she'll find after you leave that said something sweet (maybe like 'you're hot') and compliment the things you like about her. After awhile if the relationship continues, be willing to introduce her to significant people in your life (family and close friends). It's almost summer time and there will be plenty of opportunities to do fun things...like going to the zoo, outdoor concerts, local events, etc. I like guys that are affectionate, aren't afraid to hold hands when we're out in public, help me put on my coat, get the car door, open the doors to bldgs, pull out my chair, etc. She may not tell you that she notices these things, but girls do. Have fun & enjoy the newness of this relationship.

Answer 6

The next time around, it'll be your second date, so things might be a little different. Don't regret the decision you've made; make the effort to see her again, SOON, and make the outing something special and memorable. When it's time for things to happen, they will, and you won't have to plan it or question it. Good luck!

Answer 7

OK so she knew she had to be up for jury duty, she knew it was late, and she still asked you up to her place, and you don't think she wanted to get with you? You should have gone up and see where it went, maybe you would have slept over, without having sex? but now you will never know. Grow a set!!

Answer 8

IF she was a mature person she should have felt grateful! Not many people are mature about these events! Remember when you find the person you really like they will love you just the way you are and how well you treat them!

Answer 9

Oh, you're wrong about one thing....
She IS the kind of girl that puts out on a first date!!!!
She asked you to come up to her apartment.

She wasn't baking cookies.

I think that you are dating someone who is fast and it will die out unless you sleep with her soon. (But, you know you shouldn't)

She's just using you for your body!

Answer 10

shows u respect the girl good for you

Answer 11

stop obsessing and just go with the flow. if she calls then you're fine. if not call her and see what's up