I am in the process of buying a new car i'm finally at the place where i can afford payments on a good reliable car. I am supposed to get it on March 16...my boyfriend has already asked to use it on the 20th, I said i'll think about it but if I do you can't have your friends in it so he in turns says you're such a baby and so selfish. He's also mad because i bought a portable dvd player and he's always using it and i found it on the floor the other day and i told him he needs to buy himself one, but he said his unemployement check isn't enough. I wouldn't be so overprotective of my stuff but when he came to live with me i had just bought two pairs of timberlands for myself and bought him a nice pair of shoes and he asked to borrow my boots and ruined a pair and unbeknownest to me he used my other pair and ruined them, and he said he'll buy new ones but that was last year and he's still unemployed and can't afford them, am i wrong for wanting to protect my stuff..am i selfish?
2007-03-08 05:54:46 · 39 answers · asked by Shai L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you and your boyfriend need to have a good long talk about responsibility. He needs to find a job, replace the stuff of yours that he's ruined and start contributing fairly to the relationship or you need to move on. What is he contributing anyway, sex? You can get that anywhere. You need a reliable, responsible, mature MAN, find one. Good luck and God Bless.
P.S. You are NOT selfish, just responsible. Your parents raised you right. When you put out good money to buy reliable merchandise, you take good care of it, period! And if you let someone borrow something once and they don't return it in the condition they borrowed it in, or better, then you don't let that person borrow anything ever again, period!
2007-03-08 06:00:40 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The underlying issue here is not necessarily "stuff" and no, you are in no way wrong for wanting to protect your investments that you've worked hard to obtain. He's shown you on three occasions that he's not responsible enough to care for your things, I would in no uncertain terms allow him to borrow my car. You haven't even purchased it yet - HE is the one who is being selfish and inconsiderate. Now, why are you allowing this man with no job and no responsibilities to live in your house? Great he's getting unemployment, but it sounds as if he's content on just living off you. Not only would I not let him borrow my new car, I would tell him he as a month to get a job (and keep it) or he can pack up his things and move out. Good luck.
2007-03-08 06:27:45 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not selfish he sounds like a scum bag to me i dumped my ex because of the way he treated me. he got in 5 accidents already and he is 22 had his license since 18 i think he would always ask to borrow my car sometimes i said no and sometimes i gave in but when i did he
would take off not to return home until the next morning when he said he would only be an hour or two. And everytime i had money in my pocket he would ask me to buy him things and when i would refuse he would freak and say he did everything for me and i am selfish and that i should just leave him if it wasnt going to be fair i say tell him no and if he doesnt accept it then dump him
2007-03-08 06:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's selfish! If he's unemployed and using your things, sounds like he's using you. Give him a reality check! Take a break from him for a while (5-6 months at least or just break up with him completely) and enjoy what you buy for yourself. No, you are not selfish and you have a right to protect your stuff! He needs to learn to get his own things and not use other people.
2007-03-08 06:02:27 · answer #4 · answered by Film_babe2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, how dare you let any man tell you what you are. You know who you are and how you are. And I think treating yourself to a little good every now and then is great and hell no, don't let him use your car. If the dvd player's on the floor where is your car going to end up. Sweety, I think its best you really think this over yourself and ask yourself if you want to live day by day being put low because of his wants not met. Girl, go pamper yourself, and keep him off your mind. Live your life like a woman should, find the man who respects you and your personal belongings. Good luck.
2007-03-08 06:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to be firm and ask your boyfriend to get work and then he can buy his own things. You have to work hard in this life if you want anything. And you have to treat peoples property with respect. They are your things, so its your choice. Be hard and dont let him walk over you. You need to make him realise this. Hes the baby i would say because if he cant get what he wants, he cries!! Oh , did dums!! So, tell him, get a job, and then you can buy your own things. But dont give in to him all the time. Its the only way that itll make him realise he will have to do things for himself and grow up! Good luck now....
2007-03-08 06:11:36 · answer #6 · answered by the best 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not selfish. If he was working and afford those stuff, it wouldn't have bothered you alot as you know he can replace them. But he is over using your stuff to the point of ruining them without even caring, he is also repeating it over and over with your other things, and planned already to go out on your yet to come car.
That man should go out of your place today!
He should move it and get some job of some kind to support himself before you reconsider him into your house again.
2007-03-08 06:00:27 · answer #7 · answered by peachy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a very responsible woman and I'm begining to wonder why you're still with him. You haven't even bought the car yet and he's already asking to borrow it?! Are you kidding me! Is he even going to help you pay the car note (if any) or insurance?! Uh no. He doesn't have a job! Please take care of your things. It's obvious who the selfish one in this relationship is! Good luck to you!!!
2007-03-08 06:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No your not selfish. You work for your stuff so you have the right to control what happens to it. Since he has a track record of ruining your stuff, I'd be doing the same thing. If he wants to complain about it, tell him to get up, get out and get a job, get his own and see how quick he'll be to loan his stuff out to someone that has ruined something of his.
2007-03-08 06:01:57 · answer #9 · answered by Just D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um no you work for your money regardless of hard or not, you still work for the money you used to buy your stuff. He needs to get a job and buy his own stuff and let him ruin his own stuff. He should realize your being nice enough to let him borrow your stuff and your entitled to have "rules" for your things and not feel bad because you are letting him use your stuff. Your not being selfish, he's just using those lines to get what he wants. Don't let it work....Good luck !!
2007-03-08 05:59:35 · answer #10 · answered by the_wicked_itch_of_the_west 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋