I have no idea how to react to this anymore. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We are totally in love and will probably get married.
Recently she has been stressing over the fact that she is not the only person I’ve been with sexually . At first I just thought to myself that every female must go through this in the first stages of a relationship. But it has got worse, its like the only thing she thinks about. she has openly admitted that its wrong for her to think this way and that she shouldn’t punish me for my past before we even knew each other.
I’ve talked to her about it plenty of times. I want her to seek help. I feel that my past has nothing to do with us and she keeps bringing up a part of my life I want to forget.
I don’t know what to do anymore its starting to make me feel angry. I don’t want our relationship to end over something like this. This has been going on few the past 2 months.
Does anyone have any advice on what I can do?
Thanks
2007-03-08 05:54:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes i have shown that she means the world to me over and over. It really hurts me to see her this way and i have let her know that to. But it seems like nothing helps. Everything else in our relationship is perfect, so perfect that it seems like she may be bringing this up in order to have something to worry about. It sucks, i love her so much and yet it feels like i can't do nothing about it.
2007-03-08 06:06:51 · update #1
It seems like you are doing all you can on your end. Just do what you can to keep the lines of communication open.
It also sounds like she has some insecurities that she must work through and get over. She just may benefit from counseling. See that she gets some professional help.
It is kind of stupid to think that in this day and age for people to remain virgins until marriage unless one belongs to a really orthodox/strict type of religion such as Islam, Catholicism, or Orthodox Judaism, or a Buddhist ( these are just examples, not meant to offend anyone).
The average American male has at least 5 or more experiences before settling down with one. Some guys have hundreds of experiences. They are just out there. I can also say this for women. I am glad I am not one of them.
So if she is waiting that is a very noble thing. If she has already had some experiences of her own, then you have a right to tell her people in glass houses, or she who is without sin cast the first stone.
But if she does not want to stop, or get counseling, then you may have no choice but to leave her. If you don't want to leave her then just put up and shut up. Sorry, that's the cold hard facts.
2007-03-08 06:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to couples counseling, seriously. She's letting this eat her up, but there's something underlying why it bothers her (esp now).
It's never crossed my mind to be concerned with a guy's relationship past as in if he had partners/sex before or not...I've always assumed a guy had, from the time I was in my teens (and I'm 42 now). Who cares and why should they care?
She needs to talk with a counselor about this as she's being rather unrealistic to think that unless you two met when you were 10 or so, the chances of you being a virgin were slim and her only slightly less so.
2007-03-08 06:00:47 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it does sound like a real problem, but also you have to remember to be patient...and show her that she means the world to you and that she is your one and only.... even if she already knows it...the hardest part of falling in love, is sometimes thinking about past relationships....especially if they were sexually related...i know its been a long memory from your past, and you should remind her that he told you everything for a reason, and that is to be hoenst with her and get past this issue to continue with a strong, healthy relationship...if she cant understand that, then she may have some problems with trust....all i know is, you cant be TOO mad at her,....when you love someone as much as she loves you, the thought of you with another woman, is terrifying...
i hope this helps, and i really hope your situation gets better...just remember to be patient....Good Luck!
2007-03-08 06:01:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you aren't still seeing the girls from your past on a regular basis she has nothing to worry about. Just explain to her that you don't and won't ever want anyone but her. She needs some reassurance that she is the ying to your yang. Talking about it is tough, but the best thing to do. Good luck!
2007-03-08 06:09:03 · answer #4 · answered by somany_questions 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, its not your fault..the person who said that doesn't know what they are talking about...and second, she will get over it, its just really hard to imagine the love of your life having sex with someone besides yourself. Keep telling her that you love her and no one else and that that was the past. She's get over it with time. I know, its hard.
2007-03-08 06:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by c0urtn3y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this is tough
but iguess it tough for her
but u need to help her stop thinkin about it
she s driving her nuts over somethng petty
tell her u love her and that she means the world to u
and that u dont want to break up over little non sense
represent man
2007-03-08 06:31:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its your fault .. you make her feel insecured ..
I'm insecure too but my BF always assures me about this and I am getting better . show here you love only her if that's what it is .. girls are very good at reading guys
2007-03-08 05:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by adf a 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋