Guys be honest...how would you feel? Girls welcome to answer, too.?

Question

Ok guys. Let's say you had a gf who had been living with you for a year. She gets really sick and goes on disability and can't work for 2 months. You have known that she has been struggling with money for the past few months, and this definitely doesn't help. You have a very good paying job, and pay most of the bills, anyways. Would you foot the bill for her for a while (btw, she cleans, cooks, and does laundry!) with some sporatic payments from her? I mean, if you really cared, and you knew she hated taking your money, wouldn't that be ok until she got back on her feet? How would you feel if you were in this situation? Obviously I am talking about myself. My boyfriend is getting po'd at me and calls me lazy, but I am legitimately sick and disabled. He bugs me for money every other minute, and sees that my beloved car just got repo'd. Does he care enough about me, or should I believe him when he says he's broke (he just bought a 61" TV and has a great paying job). Thanks!

Thanks everyone...I hate to pick a best answer; everyone's input is greatly appreciated!

Answer 1

You said you've been living with him for a year, correct? Well, since you two are living together and are obviously in a relationship together, perhaps you should BOTH sit down together and go over the finances. I think that would be best for this situation. Keep each of your money seperate, but sit down and perhaps work out a budget together. You could also look at what you could possibly cut back on to save some money.

I can see both sides to this situation...from his point of view, he sees you as being "lazy" probably only because he's frustrated that there isn't that extra income. Perhaps he doesn't exactly BLAME you or really think you're lazy, but when a person is stressed in a relationship, epsecially over money matters, things can get kinda nutty. and from your point of view, you've just gone through a stressful situation yourself...not only did you get sick and are now considered disabled, but you lost your source of income, AND you now have someone nagging you to change all this.

Also let him know that his nagging and name-calling is NOT helping you regain the confidence you will need when you can go back to work (assuming you CAN ever go back to working a job).

But since you are now a stay-at-home significant other...perhaps you can show your appreciation for what he does for you by doing whatever you can around the home? I'm not sure what your disabilities are, so I'm not sure what is comfortable for you to do, or what you already do, but you could make sure the home is clean, you could cook dinner, you could tell him how much you appreciate his generosity, etc.

Perhaps you're feeling a bit depressed even, having gone through all this, and sometimes it's hard to get up and do something about things, but DON'T let yourself fall deeper into the hole. Realistically, he doesn't REALLY owe you anything or NEED to support you in any way, but it's nice if he does! And I would think that most men who loved their girlfriends WOULD do this...at least for a little while. Of course, everyone has their limits and a situation like this can get "old" very quickly.

My husband and I have been through this situation before...and it's frustrating for BOTH people. But if you both sit down and work it out together, that helps SO much. For instance, I'm currently a stay-home mom...not exactly by choice, but because our daughter was born 3 months prematurely and spent 4 months in the hospital and now can't be in daycare until she's at least 2 or 3 years old...so we NEED the extra income a job of mine would give, but in this situation it's WAY better and more logical for me to stay home. My husband and I agreed on this, but it's still a bit frustrating at times and I sometimes feel bad that he works SO hard for us...but he also knows how spoiled he is! That man gets a home-cooked meal EVERY day, he gets massages every night, and I'm a good little home-maker and mommy. =P So it works for us.

Anyway, I hope your situation smoothes out and things get back on track! Good Luck...

Answer 2

Hmm... Think about this: You just lost your car, he just bought a 61" television. Your question is one of those "you'd have to live it to know what you'd really do" situations, so I'm afraid most of us can only give advice and speculation. If you're really injured and can't work, but he's letting you lose the things you value while buying new stuff for himself, I think maybe you should call a close friend or parent and contemplate leaving him. It will accomplish one of two things: one) he'll realize he's being a jerk and crawl back to beg your forgiveness, or two) you'll rid yourself of an arrogant selfish punk who obviously isn't as concerned as he should be toward the woman he supposedly loves.

Answer 3

If you were not disabled I would be pissed, but if you really could not work, then I would be happy just having you do the house work and cooking(that is a job), so what you have to ask your self is how does your boyfriend see your relationship, he must see you more as a roommate that he s crews every once in a while, looks like you except more out of this relationship than he does. you need to talk to him!!

Answer 4

Obviously he enjoys having a maid and not having to pay for one. Get the heck out while you can. If he treats you this badly when you are down with a minor problem what would happen if you had a major disability? He's showing his true colors, take a good long look and make it your last one. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

If I truly cared for her and I knew without a doubt I wasn't being used,I would do all I could to stay ahead of the bills.I would NOT call her lazy or complain.If you are sick and disabled,there isn't much you can do about it.He shouldn't be yelling at you about money,if you can't work,you can't work.

Answer 6

It seems obvious to me he is not in love with you anymore or else why would he treat you so sh**y. Leave as soon as you can. Sharing a life with someone means sharing the burdens of life as well, even when you are down and struggling. If he can't do that at this time he will not do it when the going really gets tough.

Answer 7

I think he is being really selfish. I was off work for 2 months for a shoulder surgery, and my boyfriend, paid my truck payment, groceries etc. Anything I needed he paid for even if it was something I wanted but didn't need. If he really cared he would be helping you, that is what a true couple does for each other. I would do it for my boyfriend if something happened to him.

Answer 8

If you have been living together for over a year now , and he asking you for money , thats just wrong , you live together because you want to be with each other , I'd start looking for someone that would care about you ,honey , HINT , I"M available , but I live in Iowa . you can send me a message on my 360 , and we'll chat for awhile hun .

Answer 9

Whwn they can go out and buy themselves something nice and really expensive, but cannot help out around the house...sorry but that sounds like they are using you! Run while you are still not attached! Sooner you go the better!