Is something wrong?

Question

I'm 26 and very rarely approached by men. I have been told that I'm cute and dress well. I am intelligent and have a sense of humor. Also a big sports fan. Usually when I'm out with friends I am having a good time so its not like I am acting like a b****. What is going on? I don't have a problem approaching them. Its just nice to have them come to you sometimes. I don't have a problem with being single. I'm not desperate. Its just sometimes I would like to have someone instead of the same disappointments.

Answer 1

Jen,

Since you have those things going for you, maybe its your body language. I mean, of course I am guessing, because from what you've described, one would think that there shouldn't be an issue.

One thing I have realized is that men see pretty women, but are often put off by their attitude or posturing (i.e. that body language).

I find that when I look like I am having a great time, enjoying my own company or the company of my friends, guys get the feeling that I'm a fun loving person, and am approachable, so they feel like they can come over and open up.

Its all a gamble...and no one wants to be rejected.

So, throw that head back and laugh!! Hold a gaze with a coy smile with that guy at the Sports bar. Don't be afraid to open up and say something. We're all just a wee bit shy in this area.

Good luck! You can soooooo do this!

Answer 2

It takes a HUGE amount of confidence for a man to approach someone he thinks is beautiful and smart, remember that they probably have been rejected many times before approaching YOU, and they may just be too scared of the rejection AGAIN. How do they know you won't laugh at them like other women have, or ignore them as if they are a pest? You need someone really confident who is not afraid to take a chance, and when the right person finds you, this won't be an issue. Bars are horrible places to meet people in my opinion, they are so fake and everyone knows why we go when we are single, to meet people! It is a lot of pressure on a guy to make the move. Worrying about it can make you give off desperate vibes, so just be happy to go out and hang out with friends - and when the RIGHT person finds you, it will happen naturally. Find happiness in other things in the meantime, like a pet dog or dinner with friends or watching movies or travelling. You can't rush fate, it will happen when it's meant to happen.

Answer 3

Maybe you are a bit intimidating...so cute, so well dressed, so sharp. I think you sound like a total package, personally. Just be friendly without being too flirty; don't want to give off the wrong kind of come on. Keep you eyes opened other places....like the gym, the library, even the super market. An art gallery? Any where that you might meet a like minded individual. It's bound to happen, and you'll be ready when it does.

Answer 4

Maybe you're hanging out in the wrong places or trying too hard. Try to be friendly without appearing overly eager or easy. Don't get drunk. Learn to be a good conversationalist without talking too much and take things slow. Don't act too flirty. Smile, not as if you're desperate but so that men will see that you are approachable. If you look mean, it will cause them to avoid you. In no time you'll be a "man magnet".
One other important point...Men are sometimes frightened when they see women in a group. Hey, they're only human. Try to go with one friend if you aren't comfortable enough to go alone.

Answer 5

Here try this/

When you spot a cute guy, don't let him notice you are looking at him, but just pass right by him and purposely drop something like your keys or something in front of him and as if he helps down to pick it up go along with it and say thank you at the same time, that way he'll notice you, then you can walk away, but this is important so listen up, it needs to be in a social setting like a bar/restaurant, maybe even a club or something, library, might work, after you picked up the keys along with his help, and you leave he'll think of something about you and follow you and invite you for a cup of coffee!

Answer 6

I think you already have the answers that are best for you. You realize that you are happy with yourself first, you look inward before blaming others, and I am sure when/if you are not looking that a great guy will fall into your lap. I met my husband when I decided to stop liiking, have fun, and he luved the confidence and wasn't looking either. We've got 8 years now going on ten and are expecting our third and final child. Oh, opposites attract, he loves sports and I don't, I like religion and he does, so when you find the right guy, except him and never try to change him?

Answer 7

You describe my situation exactly. I am 31 and have been told the same things. It's not like I don't have friends, and have a problem with guys, it's just for some reason guys just don't seem to gravitate towards me. I've dated a few guys, but the longest ever was for 6 months. I don't have an answer to your question, just thought I'd let you know you're not the only one that happens to.

Answer 8

When I was your age I felt the same way...cute, not cocky, pretty great catch, so why is no one hitting on me??
I think a lot of men are intimidated and just don't want to take the chance of being let down. There are a lot of cute bitches out there and a guy can't always tell...so its easier if he lets you come to him.

Answer 9

It could be that guys thought you have a boyfriend since you are cute, you have the personality and down to earth. It did not occur to their mind that you are still single. Sometimes, guys are afraid to be rejected as well.

Answer 10

Well jen n tx... here is a million dollar question. Are you a Rockets fan? Mavricks fan? or a Spurs fan?