i have been in a relationship for 5 years...we are still okay but sometimes I feel that I do not trust and beleive in my partner. And to top it all, we have not had any physical intimacy for sometime..and if we do, I am the one that initiates it.First year of our living together, it seems we cannot get enough from each other.Now,I am not so sure. I need some perspective/insights...
2007-03-08 05:22:10 · 19 answers · asked by samantha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you need to ask, then your not.
2007-03-08 05:24:48 · answer #1 · answered by **ZARA** 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some thoughts for you.
Initially I thought that if you had to ask if you were in love then you probably aren't.
Then I wondered if you felt this way because of the drop off in physical intimacy. There is a hormone that your body produces when you have sex that makes you feel closer to your partner and gives you those 'in love' feelings so if you are not ready to go then this might be the area you need to concentrate on. Do you still kiss, cuddle. date? Or are you just treating each other like flatmates that just happen to share a bed? If you are not ready to give up then consider not just initiating sex but putting dating again, give him a kiss, show some interest in his day, tell him you love him (even if you are not sure that you do). Hopefully he will rspond and things will get back to 'normal', if he doesn't then you probalby need to have an overdue and very difficult chat.
My other thought was for your 'cycle'. I know I often feel like I don;t love my partner and have'nt done for sometimes and that I'm the one putting all the effort in just before my period and then I week later it's all love and roses again. I am not saying this is you but I would ask you to consider putting off any big decisions until mid cycle.
Good luck
2007-03-08 13:37:37 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think one does not stop loving a partner. Rather the infatuation ends and the real work begins. So I think you have to take stock in your relationship find out if it's worth sticking it out and if the hard work will be equaly shared. Some times even when both partners are willing to work on a relationship compatibility issues might not be resolved. There is a great article on National Geography's last year's(2006) February issue. It talks about how infatuations become life long relationships or how infatuations burn out an one moves on to the next relationship.
2007-03-08 13:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by stalin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living with somebody always puts a strain on a relationship. It's nice to start with but then the novelty wears off. You both still love each other, you are probably just into a mundane routine and need some excitement in your life. Things are probably the same day in day out. I am sure you still love him though. just need some variety within the relationship perhaps.
2007-03-08 13:33:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long is some time?? Things do slow down once you are together for a while but after 5 years it would seem unusual for it to slow down a lot.
If you don't trust and believe in your Partner maybe it's time to move on. Don't stay together because it's comfortable or you don't want to have to look for someone else.
Be true to yourself, first and foremost.
2007-03-08 13:28:14 · answer #5 · answered by NewGrandma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need to ask then your not. You may still have love for them but you are not in love with them. Also trust is a big part of a serious relationship. If there is no trust then you guys really shouldnt be together.
2007-03-08 13:27:52 · answer #6 · answered by hem_084 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you say much in the question to suggest strong doubts rising in you. The fact you question trust, the intimacy side is not good.......time to sit down and have a serious talk or even councelling and if it is dead in the water.....no shame in that it happens. It can become moe habit sometimes.
2007-03-08 13:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by pipsqueek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i go more than a couple days and he doesn't initiate something I think he's cheating. He has to be getting it somewhere. I sure would keep a close eye on him, and try to talk to him and tell him how you feel.
2007-03-08 13:26:48 · answer #8 · answered by Lil'MissThang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let God surprise you..just love the person you are with, with all heart. You have nothing to loose..your revenue is in heaven anyways.
2007-03-08 13:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by Dragos R. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the person is the only person on your mind, you are still in love with them. If you can't get them out of your head your still in love with them.
2007-03-08 13:24:32 · answer #10 · answered by Skye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy - If their life and happiness still mean more to you than your own - then yes you are still in Love.
2007-03-08 14:07:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋