EVER WONDER...
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
....why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
2007-03-08 05:21:08 · 15 answers · asked by girl_of_your_dreams_1331 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
2007-03-08 05:21:49 · update #1
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
2007-03-08 05:22:13 · update #2
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish Chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
2007-03-08 05:22:28 · update #3
oh what about these ?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll Squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out" ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum." ?
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
OK OK i was just joking around, but really, what are the answers to these questions ?
what's another word for a synonym ?
why do they have an expiry date on sour cream ?
2007-03-10 08:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it made me think a lot but i got a poem for you.
... why dose the girl cry in the distance when her life is unfair full of no heart. she looks up and says to god if you love me answer this why is the the world torn a part and why dose it have no heart. an angel appears next to her and says the world still has a heart it's just now what was the end is now just a new start, so don't worry and don't shed no more tears I'll take you to heaven and we'll answer your questions there. she looks and the angel with a look in her eye and says never mind now I'll find out for myself, but answer this, will the end be near my life time? the angel looks and her and says yes but, just remember how are you living your dash?
2007-03-14 18:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
perfect 10
2007-03-08 13:46:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG i think that's the most funniest thing I've read in a long time....True facts lol
2007-03-13 19:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by Siobhan C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those are all good. I have a folder with all those in it somewhere. A "Here's your sign " folder. lol here's a question for you
MENstrual peiod
MENopause
MENtal breakdown
Ever wonder why all our problems start with men. lol
2007-03-08 13:38:36 · answer #5 · answered by cee_jae22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some of them r true I agree where'd you get the facts from? their good
2007-03-08 13:27:44 · answer #6 · answered by Koko ; 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL.
I enjoyed reading these. LOL.
Have a great weekend!
2007-03-10 10:52:51 · answer #7 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some ppl r really stupid find some more those are funny!
2007-03-08 13:33:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
haha
2007-03-12 12:13:42 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol there so true good one
2007-03-08 13:46:42 · answer #10 · answered by big ray 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋