i've been with this guy on and off for about four years. it's never worked out for us, though we've always had a very close relationship. we'll date for a little while, everything will be amazing and then, out of nowhere, he'll meet someone and veritably forget about me. he'll date a new girl for about a week before kicking her to the curb too, then he'll stay single for a while. we always end up seeing each other somewhere and getting together again. recently, he called me out of nowhere and gave me a very heartfelt explanation of his behavior in the past four years. he said he think he's in love with and always has been.. and he always ends up leaving because he's completely terrified by that fact. i really don't understand that. if he really loved me, wouldn't he just stick around and not just get out at a moment's notice?
2007-03-08 05:20:41 · 8 answers · asked by nelo c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My Opinion Forget About Him Because even If He Says Hes Changed You Never Know He Could Just Up And Leave 15 Years and 2 kids Down The Road
2007-03-15 17:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Mae ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a real "boomerang relationship" This guy is probably passive agressive and has been taking advantage of the fact that you have a weakness for him.
Stop letting him off the hook for treating you like crap.
Years down the road his treatment of you will not get any better. His behaviour will chip away at what ever love you have for him and you will just end up hating and dispising him. If a woman did this to a man she'd be labled something not too nice, right?
Ask yourself, Would a man stand for this treatment?
If you still find yourself unable to break it off with him, please start seeing other guys and do not invest so much in the relationship with him. See how he likes being kicked to the curb.
You need to get a life and be too busy for him.
2007-03-16 11:57:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may love you. You two may try this roller coaster relationship again. Think about how you are going to feel in the relationship tho'. You are always going to be waiting for the shoe to drop. Things may go along just fine but aren't you going to be worried that when he finds someone more attractive or whatever that he will leave you again. Why not begin a relationship with someone you can depend on to be faithful to you. He is terrified of being in love. How can you be in a relationship with someone who is terrified of relationships? The only hope tat you can have is that you are going to change him. By the way, you cannot change another person. You can change one person that is you.
2007-03-16 09:16:24 · answer #3 · answered by newyorktilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all people are designed to be in relationships. You need to seriously evaluate what kind of person he is. Maybe he isn't the small house with the picket fence and five kids type. If you are the type that is looking for a long term relationship he obviously doesn't have the best track record. He may be a great friend to you, he may be a great short-term lover, but it seems unlikely at this point that his behavior will be leaning towards monogamous.
2007-03-16 12:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by Danelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you have to explain to him that you can't be going off and on with him, that you have a life that you wants to enjoy, you tell him that if he wants you and loves you as he said that he can't be leaving you and coming back like you are his sl*t or something, if he really loves you he will stay and get to know you better.
One more thing do you know any of his family, cause if a guy doesn't wants you to meet his mother or father he his definately using you.
2007-03-16 12:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he means he loves you but doesn't think he's ready for a really serious relationship, or maybe this is the first time he's been in love and doesn't know what to do about it. If you love him, tell him.
I hope for the best for you guys.
2007-03-08 13:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by c0urtn3y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably doesnt like being not in control of situations, and being in love is something he can't control, so it makes him freaked out.
im kinda like that myself, if i like someone i will try not to admit it because it means someone else has control over my feelings or something.
2007-03-08 14:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ya he probably is scared of falling in love with you because he has NEVER fallen in love before and it is all new to him.
2007-03-16 11:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by britt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋