have been in this relationship for a little over two years. My BF checks out just about every girl. He not only checks out other girls, he trys to make eye contact with them and if they do make eye contact I can see he looks at them the way he looks at me. This happens EVERY TIME we go somewhere where there are girls. It KILLS me. My heart drops to the floor every time and it is starting to bring my self esteem so low. He has to look at, at least one girl who he keeps looking the whole time. He knows this bothers me cause I have told him from day one, he just doesn't know how to stop or something. We are a happy couple this seems to be the only thing we fight about. What should I do? It has been happening for two years now and we have talked about it and i told him that it brakes my heart!! Im hurting and I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enuf, but I know that I am! I don't know who to talk to about this. Please help.
2007-03-08 04:55:08 · 16 answers · asked by K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sweetie, he has complete control over this behavior, but chooses to continue because it pleases him. Your feelings about it apparently aren't a concern.
There's no harm in people looking/admiring others...it's quite natural. But to stare until they've caught the other persons eye and then flirt isn't appropriate. It's thoughtless and shows he's either downright mean, has low self esteem and needs to regularly be assured he's attractive to other people, or both.
How you handle this is up to you...if you two have been together for over 2 years perhaps some relationship counseling is in order so he can learn to feed his own self esteem instead of trying to get others to do it, especially since he knows it upsets you.
2007-03-08 05:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea i'm sorry those other answer are good but lets be realistic- now you need to apply everything i am telling you. First of all- your not in a happy relationship because if he looks at another girl- you get upset or lose self esteem. Second of all- you need to tell him that a relationship is built on communication- trust- and support. Prime example- what kind of man takes away his girlfriends self esteem- maybe he has self esteem problems below the belt or maybe his beer belly- but he's taking his frustrations out on you. The last approach is to mess with his mind. You start looking at other guys- but not specifically in the eyes- try looking at their croutch or butt- it'll turn him redder than blood. But doing that might open an aspect to your relationship where it can become a swinger relationship or an open relationship- either way the two of you will rise together because you sound like you want to be with him. Always inform him of this phrase- what's done in the dark will be seen in the light? don't explain yourself- just get in his head-thats the last thing a guy is expecting-To be taking control of. Have fun!!!
2007-03-08 13:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by marq_wilkins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first off- i think he's taking the phrase -" i was just looking" a little too far. And for two years this has been going on and you've addressed the situation many times to him and this behavior still continues. As much as this may hurt you I believe it is time to move on. It is obvious he dose not care about your feelings, and is pretty bold to do it so blatantly in front you like that. I noticed you said that you were a "happy couple" really, because the last time i checked - a spouse that breaks your heart and makes your feel inferior in the relationship - didn't qualify. Just leave- and find someone who deserves you and makes you feel like no other.. GOOD LUCK
2007-03-08 13:06:40 · answer #3 · answered by bh09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an untimatum. Tell him one last time how much it hurts you and how it makes you feel. Tell him thats the only thing that bothers him.
If he loves you he should be able to give up looking at other girls. If he cant stop looking at other girls tell him that you cant stay with him because you arent 100% happy.
Make sure you follow through though! If you dont, he will know anything you say doesnt mean anything.
It might just take you leaving him for a while for him to realize exactly what he lost and to force him to change!
Good luck!!!
2007-03-08 13:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone looks once and awhile but you shouldn't be wasting your time on someone who is on the prowl even while he's out with you. He continues to do this despite you telling him how much it bothers you. That shows a big lack of respect for you. If he cared he would at least be discreet about it. He's making you feel bad about yourself, this isn't how a guy should treat you. Dump him and tell him he can look all he wants now. I think once you meet a guy who treats you right, you will realize that you were not happy at all while you were with the jerk you're with now.
2007-03-08 13:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a problem. First of all why does he looks at other women? For two years he had some one to look at, to be with and he treat you like that? Do not like this effect your self-esteem. The whole "they are men thing" does not mean jack. I am a guy and if you are in a relationship you should act like it in all aspects. There is not excuse for him be a "jerk" especially in front of you.
2007-03-08 13:05:06 · answer #6 · answered by Shawn M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey if u not happy i would say leave his sorry little ***. Because if he can do it when you with him he might be doing alot more than just looking when you not around. You do not look at other guys when together or apart.
I aint know anyone of you but its just what i gather from your question. Leave his sorry little *** & once your gone he will prob regret what he did.
If he really loved you he would listen & take to note your feelings & considerations too. A relationship works both ways,its a two way street,both have to compramise. not just one person to make the other happy.
What makes you happy?
Sorry & Goodluck
2007-03-08 12:59:50 · answer #7 · answered by MEHNAZ B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to stay with him heres how you handle it. Realize that looking is just eye candy. And when you have already told him that it bothers you then he keeps doing it to see how you will react. My advice would be to stop letting it bother you or at least don't let it show that it bothers you. You are the one he is going home with.
2007-03-08 13:10:50 · answer #8 · answered by dreamer12324 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he knows it bothers you and he continues to do it should concern you. I'm sure you would not continue to do something that breaks his heart that way. You really need to have a heart to heart talk with him and let him know that if it continues you will need to re-think your relationship. Maybe the thought of losing you will shake him up enough that he'll stop.
2007-03-08 13:09:28 · answer #9 · answered by Bluebellringy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this has been happening for two years and he knows how you feel about it, he does not respect you enough to stop and will not stop so its time to leave.... he is the one thats not good enough for you.....actions like that are just totally disrespectful to your other half...and if looks that hard then let him go for it you deserve better.....
2007-03-08 13:12:08 · answer #10 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋