At my age should I up and move to be with my grown up grandkids. they would never be around, half the time?

Question

I live maybe ihr awy from them and the still don"t come to see me, I don"t drive.

Answer 1

My grandma went through the same thing. She said its hard to raise your kids and see them get older. Her kids came back with kids and of course needed her help. She took care of us and she loved it. But then her grandkids got older and she was lonely again.

She came up with an idea to make a date night once a month or once every other month.

We would go to the movies or make it a blockbuster night. She didnt drive either, my brother would drive us. It continued for years.

At first us kids were like "Ugh, another date night" but one night my grandmother had pictures of when she was a child. She began telling us, what it was like when she was growing up. How kids would act foolish, but they were more respectful to themselves and their parents.She talked about memories she had when MLK jr was killed, Elvis died, JFK was murdered, etc.... and WE were very interested.
Her generation and my generation are completely different. She just began talking to us. WE asked questions becuase we became curious and interested. She told how growing up was hard because you'd loose friend, relationships, jobs, etc... but you always had your family. She taught us the value of having a family.

Then she showed us pictures of when our parents were kids. She told us how they got into trouble and how some of us reminded her of them.

On one of our dates she told us how much hanging out with us meant. She cried and so did we cause we all knew we wouldnt have her here forever.

She died in 95 and til this day WE continue our date with her (once every other month). We go to the cemetary and visit her. We all live about an hour or so away from the cemetary, even back then we lived far. Granite there are some days some of cant go for other reasons but the rest of us try to.

My son never got the chance to meet her but he knows her. When he gets older, I will get to share her stories.

So try to make it date.....

Answer 2

It all depends. Do you get along well with your grandkids, other than them not being around half the time? It totally depends on the relationship, I think. I am 23 and live with my boyfriend on the opposite side of the city from my grandma, but I go over to her house at least once a day. She will come over here once in a while, but never without invitation. As long as you give your kids some space, and as long as that is what YOU want, then go for it! :)

Answer 3

if you think they would come see you more and you can afford the move then go for it but if the move wouldn't change anything with them why put the money out to do it?try planning a week-end cookout or a family reunion to see if that could jump start the grand kids desire to visit it would be fun at the very least

Answer 4

Aww that's kind of sad that your grandkids don't visit you more often since you don't drive. If I were closer to my grandma, I'd be there every weekend!

I think, rather than uprooting yourself, you should talk to them and tell them you miss their company and would like them to come by more often. Tell them that you were considering moving closer to them, just to be able to see them on your terms! If they have a heart, they will commit to regular visits.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Maybe you could clarify a few things so you could get an answer. How old are you? Do you want to see them? If they are grown and make their own choices, perhaps there are reasons you need to examine about yourself causing them to stay away from you?

Answer 6

Well I sure wouldn't. Mine live in town and they are all so busy with their own lives. I will stay put, and independent, just as long as I can, in this house that I and my husband have been in since he retired from the US Navy 38 years ago.~~~~Jill

Answer 7

Maybe they don't come & see you because they're busy. Work, school, activities....
Maybe if you lived closer they would visit more.
But you should ask first before you make a big decision like that. Make sure its going to be worth it.

Answer 8

u didnt say how old r u but if u r too old to live alone yes go ahead if they want it u should ask them first and find the real answer...but if u r not too old dont do it because u need ur space u know what i mean...PRIVACY

Answer 9

you have to start taking care of "you"..your grandkids are grown and have lives probably to "busy" for grandma....it happens..believe me

Answer 10

no--they should come to you esp since u don't drive