SINGLE FOR 6.5 YEARS - is love not meant for me?

Question

i've been single for 6.5 years now and i want to know, should i just except the status quo and give up now before i drive myself crazy hoping for 'more' when there is none meant for me? it's not an issue of worring about the clock ticking or what not, but how can i have been single for majority of my 20's? all the men that i've ever had feelings for for the past 6.5 years started dating other women within the 6 months i started having feelings for them. i've tried being agressive/passive/passive agressive, but more importantly i've always been myself. i believe there is a 'someone' out there for everyone, but that that's completely separate to whether or not you actually find that 'someone'. ppl say 'one day u'll meet the one' but how can i possibly believe that when i haven't even had a date for so long? can it be true that some people are meant for lifelong solitude? i just want to know so that i can prepare myself emotionally to live life without ever experiencing love?

i moved countries 3 years ago. before moving i had only been single for a little over 3 years, and still felt optimistic. since moving, i've tried rebuilding a support system by attending work functions, joining interest groups/clubs/the gym etc. i knew it would be hard, but didn't know it would be impossible. when u're in a new country, u have to be proactive on such issue, but i'm sure i haven't been trying too hard. i don't set out to meet men for romantic reasons, i just try to meet both sexes just to be friends, which has proven to be difficult too. so it's really not surprising that i haven't met any men for either just dating or more a serious relationship. so i'm really just asking objectively, not being morbid or pessimistic or anything - should i still keep up hope?

Answer 1

YOU NEED TO BE MORE POSITIVE. SOMEONE IS OUT THEIR FOR YOU JUST WAIT. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 2

You sound a little sad and down. I am so sorry that you don't have a person who is right for you yet. As to whether you'll find the one who is right for you remains a mystery. Life is full of them. But you should not deprive yourself of having fun, loving and enjoying life. When you do these things, it acts like a magnet. Good things will flow your way. When you feel dull and flat, more of the same seems to come along. I had 5 years on my own, went nowhere, did nothing and felt about as interesting as a dishrag. Then one day I decided to do things for myself. Just for my own sake. I took up doing a course of study. I met people, my circle of friends increased. I had a lovely time ... as I grew and thrived, my circle of friends and experiences grew too. I had fun and did things that changed my life to suit myself. Now a course of study may not be your thing but maybe joining a hobby group or sport group is. Try doing other things that you have not done, but thought you would like to. Try doing ball room dancing? Try scuba diving? Try to learn massage? Try joining a bushwalking club? Try joining a gardening club? Whatever sounds like an interest you would like to pursue, do it. You will meet more people. You will feel more fulfilled. And you may eventually meet a wonderful partner for you... and you won't have had to hunt the person down. I did. I met someone as a friend in the first instance, but the relationship grew. We have been happy together 10 years now. And I learned and laughed a lot along the way and have a much wider circle of friends than before. Life is good when you reach out and grab a handful or two of it for yourself. Enjoy and I wish you well.

Cheers,

Lisa

Answer 3

Hang in there..I felt the same way too. It's been 15 years for me before I started having true real feelings for someone that I believe will be the one I will settle with. As the saying goes "it takes time' is really true. When the era hits with all the HIV & all the other syndromes of distress on our society, I retreated inward and undoubtedly did not want to be part of the dating scene. As I move on with my life today, someone happened by, clicked with me on a real dynamic level and set my whole being on fire. The sparks are flying between us right now truly and I tell you I did not expect this. It just happened. Keep doing what you're doing because you never know when it's gonna come right out of left field and knock you off your feet like it did to me. So hang in there and all the best to you.

Answer 4

The more u think about it the less chances of being with someone cuz your brain starts to think about it too much and then probably there's someone that is looking at you right now but your into "oh ive been single 6.5 years" and you wont even notice who is really into you.

Just dont think about it. Im 22 and i havent had a good relationship yet. Ive dated people but it never seems to work out but Im okay with it. Im turning 23 in june and I dont care about being single. I dont think about it. I just worry about being happy with everything I got even if it's without a man.

Just be happy with youself. Enjoy life the way you have it with or without a man. Like you said there is a 'someone' out there for everyone. I'm sure you'll meet him and it's up to you to see that.

Good luck.

Answer 5

The first thing to do is honestly evaluate how you come off to others. Ask friends and family if you have any characteristics they find particularly annoying or off-putting.

Second, examine what it is you really want from a relationship. Do you want to get married, or simply want companionship.

Third, think about whether you've got unrealistic standards when it comes to a relationship. You say you've always been yourself, which is good. But, are you going after women who are out of your league? Sad to say, but smoking hot women don't go out with a normal looking guy unless he's well-endowed financially or physically.

Finally, try to meet more people. I know you've probably been told this before, but a lot of people who complain about being single simply aren't out there giving it their all. The more people you meet, the better the chances you'll find someone.

Good luck.

Answer 6

i think ur problem is looking for something "real".you're young and i bet there are tons of guys out there just trying to reach you but you don't even notice them cuz u're too busy thinking about the guys you'll never get.like i said, you're young and nothing is supposed to be real when you're 20.if being single is a problem 4 u, just go date someone but i suggest that u should live ur life and have all the fun you can have from being a sexy single.at least when you finally find that special someone, you will have had enough fun so you'll be able to have a serious relationship

Answer 7

oh come on.. I'm single for quite a long time and I haven't yet lost my hope.. sometimes it's even better not to have a partner...
still, you shouldn't really get that radical.. you never really know what may turn out.. first decide whether it is a relationship that you want now and if you do, then start acting.. if you don't/- continue living satisfied...
in any ways, you should start preparing for a life without love only when you're 75.. until then, miracles can happen
good luck

Answer 8

It takes time, I know what you were feeling cause i was like that for quite some time. It takes time and you'll meet that person in the random way. Just go out to make friends with alot of the opposite gender. Once someone gets to know you, it can work out easier for you.... There are more fish in the sea, and you gotta be patient for that right one to bite...

Sorry im not that good with advice, but keep your head up and things will work out for you. Good Luck!!

Answer 9

Okay Ive been single for 4 yrs okay.... Because I had this image that nothing and no one could touch me... But deep down inside I felt alone & wished someone would look my way but at the sametime I was abit scared of falling 4 someone. And now I have met someone and he has opened me up 2 awhole new world that I have never experienced b4. And I am so grateful 4 him. But we're only good mates. He doesnt know how I feel cause IDK how 2 tell him Anyways my point is just when you think about giving up life offers you something you cant refuse. He is definitely out there mate... hes probably alot closer then you think. And hes probably hoping that you'll notice him but your too busy worrying about Mr right that Mr-right is right infront of you its just that youve missed him.
So dont give up on him cause he most certainly hasnt given up on you.

So dont worry mate cause he's there you just gotta be patient kk. Love comes at unexpected times.

Expect the unexpected.

Take it easy mate

Answer 10

colin farrell has been single nearly 6 years but i'm sure hes not that upset about it,
for now just have fun
but you can't look for love, it finds you so just enjoy yourself until you find that special someone then make sure you don't lose them and you'll feel unbelieveable happiness

Answer 11

Maybe people sense your desperation and are not looking at you romantically because of this. I suggest you stop dwelling about it and someone will come along.