He and I met in a college class where we were assigned to partner on project. Well, long story short, I ended up giving him his first kiss. (No joke he and I are both 20! and he had never kissed a girl.) Now, he wants to spend a lot of time with me and kiss and talk. (He wants to wait until marriage for sex. I am perfectly okay with that. Truthfully I am glad of it.) I keep trying to tell him that school is way too important to me to screw it up. But it is easy to get distracted. How do I let him down easily that for awhile I would just like his friendship?
Also, I lost my dad about two months ago. I am stilll trying to deal with that. I don't want to talk about how I feel but he keeps pushing. Either because he cares about me and/or he doesn't know how much it hurts me..... I just don't want to hurt his feelings......
2007-03-08 04:29:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He and I talked about it. I was completely truthful and he understands. I hope that we continue being friends and then maybe later something more... Thanks for all of your help!!!!
2007-03-08 17:41:52 · update #1
be honest. Tell him you are still grieving and need your space, tell him you feel things are going to fast for you to handle right now and you want to sleep things down
2007-03-08 04:33:31 · answer #1 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your loss.
Your friend seems to be a really nice comfort for you in this trying time, however, it might be wise to suggest to him that you're going through so much right now that a relationship that consists of more than just hanging out every now and again would be just way too much.
Let him know you're not trying to lead him on, but that the stress of your loss is a constant emotional roller coaster, and the pressure of his console is more than you can handle right now. It isn't him - just that anyone in his exact position would be getting the same response from you right now.
A friend at any level right now in your life would know that you need your space. Any friend would know that too much is too much, and when to back off -- and they wouldn't take anything personally, especially with the situation you're dealing with.
Good luck with your friend, and also take your time in dealing with the loss of your father. He deserves the time you're giving him right now to remember him and to acknowledge the important role he played in your life. Take this time to put together a scrapbook of memories you have of your father from as far back as you remember.
Please remember that it is also very healthy to take a break from mourning and to enjoy life, guilt free. He'll be smiling upon you as you do so.
God Bless.
2007-03-08 12:43:48 · answer #2 · answered by swilkes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats tough well i would say "i really like you a ton and i think your so great and i want to make this work so i have to tell you but i need some time to myself everyonce in a while to do school work and deal with my dad and to just have some time for me. cus i dont want to drag our relationship down by bringing my problems into our relationship and sometimes i feel pressured to talk about my dads death to you and right now i dont feel like i can talk about it but when i am ready ill tell you "
and it will sting a little bit but if you dont tell him then you will start to act different and feel recentment towards him and it will show and hurt him even more
2007-03-08 12:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow first kiss and 20 years old? thats crazy
but i do understand about school cause it happened to me
and the dad thing i would need a lot of time and space
just try telling him that it is not going anywhere until school is over
2007-03-08 12:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that he just likes you because you gave him his first kiss. oh and just a way to let him down easily is by telling him that you lost you dad not to long ago and you don't think that you should be in a relationship right now. i'm really sorry about your dad.
2007-03-08 12:36:20 · answer #5 · answered by lildevil p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound mean, but do it like the guys do...avoid him like he's the plague. Guys do it all the time and its not like your sleeping with him. He'll get over it when he finds that girl to pop that cherry. And if u ran into him just tell him u need alone time to get over your fathers passing. If he doesn't understand that he has problems.
Also, my prays are with u about your dad. keep your head up
2007-03-08 13:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by Jazzabell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe you should let him know iam sorry about what has happen 2 ur father maybe things should slow down with you 2 and let it chill okay good luck if he cant accept this he doesnt care about you okay good luck shawana365@sbcglobal.net
2007-03-08 12:35:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont have to drop him all you need to is to tell him the real truth if he loves u he will give you space and time till you are through with your things.
but dont use scape goats if dont love him tell him so
2007-03-08 12:41:00 · answer #8 · answered by mini-haven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just simpally tell the guy things arnt working out between you!
2007-03-08 12:33:49 · answer #9 · answered by amz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel, honestly and politely.
2007-03-08 12:32:55 · answer #10 · answered by mikey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋