what can i expect when i attend a group meeting for sexual abuse?

Question

I"m planning on attending a group meeting and i'm scared as hell. I know that i have to resolve these issues. I just don't know what to expect.

Answer 1

What you should expect--no, insist on is more like it--at your first meeting is an open, supportive group wherein your privacy and boundaries are respected.

Really, the group leader or facilitator, whether this person is a professional or a peer, should be firm about this one: he or she should always say, both at the start of the group meeting *and* at the end, these two things at least.

--"Everyone needs to know that what is said here, stays here....we must protect each other's privacy, so, we are not to discuss anything related to personal issues *outside of this room* until and unless all parties involved give their permission and consent openly and freely."

--"Everyone also needs to know that group members are *free* to say as much or *as little* as they like....you don't have to give out anything more than your first name. If you aren't comfortable speaking out about yourself as yet, feel free to just relax and be here. There is no pressure for anyone here to say anything...."

In other words....as a newbie, on your first night with the group, your right and prerogative to go at your own pace and to not be forced to disclose anything *MUST* be respected, especially on this issue, because survivors of sexual abuse and molestation *very often* have serious issues about these very things, boundaries, control and consent. So yes, talk with the group leader about this in advance and make sure that you won't be forced to say anything if it doesn't feel absolutely *safe* for you to do so....this *is* very hard stuff to open up about, especially for the first several times to a room full of relative strangers.

So yes....you should expect to feel odd about all this. At first. But that is rather the whole point of going to a support group at least. You listen to others tell their stories and find out that you aren't alone and that your pain isn't *so* horrid or *so* terribly unique on this earth. You get in touch with people again, in a controlled setting, where the others around you *know* what it's like and have been there before and actually care.

And....read that last sentence again. Remember the words: "controlled setting", "know what it's like" and also "have been there before and actually care". These aren't just descriptive of how a group is.....these are *required* conditions of how a healthy support group *has to be*. If the setting isn't controlled it isn't going to feel safe. If other people don't seem to know what it is like, why be in a support group? If they "haven't been there before", how can they be of help to you? And again, if they don't "actually care", how are you going to feel safe?

So yeah, keep all of these things in mind, as *requirements*, ok? And remember, unless you are locked up in a Psych Ward or something equally drastic....you can *Always Bail*. If a group just doesn't feel safe for you, you can *always* walk out and leave. Always. There is no obligation for you to stay someplace if your heart tells you it isn't safe.

I hope this helps....and I hope that the group meeting goes well and that it actually *is* supportive and helpful. Good luck to you, you deserve it! Take care and stay safe.

Answer 2

Crying, anger, laughter, a wide range of emotions. Group thereapy is important because helps you understand that you are not alone and puts you with people that can identify with you.

A therapist that has not experienced what you have can't fully understand what you're feelingm what it's like, etc. They can help you with strategies to get better, change your thinking, be someone to vent to, etc. The group will be a key factor in your treatment.