Funny or Funny?

Question

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: New Company Policy:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Dress Code
>>
>>1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to
your
>>salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag,
we
>>assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay
>>raise.
>>2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
>>better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not
need a
>>pay raise.
>>3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be
and
>>therefore you do not need a pay raise.
>>
>>Sick Days
>>We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If
>>you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
>>
>>Holiday Days
>>Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
>>Saturday & Sunday.
>>
>>Compassionate Leave
>>This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
dead
>>friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
>>non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where
employee
>>involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late
>>afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
hour
>>and
>>subsequently leave one hour early.
>>
>>Toilet Use
>>1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There
is
>>now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
>>2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the
toilet
>>paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture
will
>>be taken.
>>3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on
the
>>company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
>>4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned
under
>>the company's mental health policy.
>>
>>Lunch Break
>>1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat
more
>>so that they can look healthy.
>>2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced
>>meal to maintain their average figure.
>>3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all
the
>>time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
>>
>>Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an
employer of
>>choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
>>
>>Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations,
>>irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,
>>contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
>>
>>Management
>>" We are limited but we can push back the borders of our limitations"

Answer 1

??????

Answer 2

Bit Cruel And Funny Abit.

Answer 3

it was a bit long, didnt think it was going to be funny untill i reached

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned
under the company's mental health policy.

but from there on it picked up. made me smile anyway

Answer 4

I do hope this was not sent from your company computer. Or sent during working hours. Your employer will cut pieces off you and send them to your relatives in leaky, brown paper bags as a lesson to your colleagues.

Answer 5

funny funny lol

Answer 6

Very Good Haha bet your a business man or woman got your own factory it's not under world !! there looking for you Danny!

Answer 7

Oh, definitely funny!

Answer 8

Great one Taxi ! it's funny :-) Remember to break and don't drive all your employees nuts or you ended up in mental health and have your picture taken and posted as "WANTED" hahahah

Answer 9

Sounds like the post office. It epitomizes and justifies the term, going postal.

Answer 10

very funny - but this really can happen in the workplace. Watch out - big brother is about.

Answer 11

yes, thats very good and about the three minutes in the stall is true. But no camara .that i knew about,the boss had to be jolly some how .