I have this ex bf that hurt me very badly, but recently emailed me to ask how I was doing. Is it a bad idea for me to keep in touch with him? I still have feelings for him, but I know in the past he just used me and left me broken hearted. Any suggestions?
2007-03-08 04:14:31 · 12 answers · asked by tristeyloca 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not a bad idea to keep in contact - but since you still have feelings for him it may be too soon. I'm still friends with my ex hubby and I'm still friends with a couple of guys I dated (one of which was a bf) but if you have strong feelings for him you could easily get sucked back in and be hurt again.
2007-03-08 04:18:54 · answer #1 · answered by lunasage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. I can relate, in the sense that I was the one who broke my ex's heart. Afterwards I emailed him from time to time to "find out how he was doing", because I truly felt awful for having hurt him (I left him for someone else). He would always write back a nice email, expressing how it was nice to hear from me, that he appreciates my email and so on. I now think the reasons I felt a need to write him are twofold: (1) a terrible sense of guilt that I had hurt him and (2) wanting him to absolve me of what I did...to know he was fine without me and not hurting.
The truth is...of course, he is still hurting and I'm just going to have to live with the guilt. I have stopped writing him because it's unfair to look to him to ease my conscience. I can't undo what I have done and to write to him out of the blue every few weeks/months really just brings back the pain for him, and gives him a false sense of hope that I want him back. I don't actually. What I want is to not feel guilty. But it's selfish....
What you can do is write this guy back and say, "Look, thanks for the email but you really hurt me and I rather not live on false hope that you want to undo what you did, which isn't possible, and come back to me. I am busying moving on--and an email from you just impedes that. So take care, and maybe when I feel back to myself again I'll give you a call."
Just a suggestion: this way, you are calling the shots, and not reacting to this guy's whims of regret. If he really wanted you back, he would be knocking on your door saying he made a terrible mistake--not just asking how you are doing in an email.
Hope that helps,
Living With My Guilt...
S
2007-03-08 04:34:26 · answer #2 · answered by Karibuboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm able to verify the type you may decide to help your ex by way of his puzzling circumstances. Is all he's calling for is an ear? i might say if this is all go forward, in basic terms clarify this on your modern-day bf. whether if he starts off speaking on the subject of the previous he could be searching for extra, extraordinarily with what he is going by way of. Use your judgement in spite of everything i does not turn my back on a chum, yet I genuinely have got here upon myself in some difficulty in the previous with that too.
2016-09-30 09:37:50 · answer #3 · answered by gloyd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still hae feeling for your ex you should just leave him alone--don't return any emails, phone calls, etc. Why would you want to keep in touch with a man( and I use the term loosely) who used you and hurt you?
2007-03-08 04:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Kitty knows it all 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn from my experience, I went through the same -if you still have feeling for him and he hurt you in the past dont set up yourself for more hurt. I wont respond to his email and just ignore him until he goes away
2007-03-08 04:22:16 · answer #5 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you jump in front of a car after you already were hit by one? Why would you want to cause yourself pain again? Yes it is a very bad idea to have any contact with him.
2007-03-08 04:30:10 · answer #6 · answered by Steveo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be trippin over some dude that burned you in the pass. Get away from recycled relationships. He is looking for a booty call. Charge him to the game and move on.
2007-03-08 04:22:25 · answer #7 · answered by SuperKdog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
email him back, but tell him you are doing great, make things up if you need to. whatever you do, dont go back to him, he will just hurt you again. Trust me I know, been there done that.
2007-03-08 04:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by brandi_mrrw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hurt you, don't communicate with him - especially since you still have feelings for him. Best thing you can do is move on.
2007-03-08 04:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very bad because all you're going to do is go in circles.
2007-03-08 04:17:37 · answer #10 · answered by Inneed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋