Is this typical 4 year olds behavior?

Question

I would like to know if this is terrible 4s or what.I heard of terrible 2s but 4s I did not know of.my 4 year old breaks up things up that are in the living room that are figurines.He broke up part of the lamp today.I like to keep decent nice things but he keeps tearing stuff up.Can somebody please tell me is this typical 4 year old behavior.He is so energectic and very busy.It wears me out.need some advice please.Thank You.

Answer 1

It sounds typical to me my son used to do the same type of thing.put your nice figurines up for a while and make your room totally kid friendly for now.
Before you know it he will grow out of this stage,just don't force it on him or expect him to be museum friendly for a while.

Answer 2

I have a 4-year old son, and I would not say that breaking things (that are not his) is not typical behavior. I think most behavior problems with children is that they don't get enough attention from their parents, and they are taking drastic measures to gain attention from their parents. You might try to direct his energy into a more productive activity, like karate or child exercise classes. I started taking my son to The Little Gym (an exercise facility for children), and he seems to be much more relaxed and low-key at home. I don't know if it's because he's tired or because the classes are teaching him - but I just know they have worked significantly! I think you should also explain to him that you wouldn't break his toys, so he shouldn't break things that are not his. Good luck!!

Answer 3

No ... not in my opinion. I think your son may be needing more attention from you and/or your partner. He's bored, and when little ones are bored ... they get into things. They can have all the toys in the world, but, they still need that one on one interaction with their parents. Maybe do some arts/crafts with him, take him to the park or another activity that would focus soley on him? When my sons were 3 and 4, this is what I'd do, if they were having a particularly bad day ... afterwords, they were much better behaved and played contently. Hope this helps, wishin' you well ...... :)

Answer 4

4 Year olds have lots of energy, he may not be getting enough stimulation to keep him settled and happy. Try spending more time outside playing with him, really get him running and laughing. You can try play groups and parks. Then make sure to incorporate a quiet time, sit and read with him, color, building blocks. He will start behaving more while inside the house, and you will regain some sanity.
Good luck, and remember, he's just a kid, and hey.... he'll be going to school soon!

Answer 5

It sounds like he needs a little more discipline. When kids are younger it's important to keep nice things out of reach of little hands, and temptation of eyes, but once they start getting to that age, you really can just tell them "no" and expect they should listen - or else. Why not pretend to break one of his toys every time he breaks one of your things (if they behavior is intentional). When he gets upset, and asks why you did that explain to him that it's important to treat other people's belongings the way he would like his treated, with respect. Give him back his toys - that aren't really broken - once you get the point across.

Answer 6

The energy and running around is typical 4-year-old behavior. But breaking things is going overboard. When he starts running around try getting him to go outside and play. Four-year-olds are old enough to understand that they will get punished if they break things. Next time it happens, try a time-out.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

To be honest, no, this doesn't sound like typical 4 y/o behavior. It does sound like 2 & 3 year old behavior, when the child isn't getting enough exercise and structured activity. When toddlers are restless, bored, and have no direction to focus their attention, they tend to run around wildly, from room to room or object to object, destroying everything in their path. It could be attention-seeking, or just energy releasing behavior. Even the best of moms can't schedule or structure every moment of their little one's time, but a more consistent effort to provide that structure should get the problem under control.

At 4, you have a child who is old enough to understand rules, and the consequences for not following them. So in addition to giving the child more exerise and structured activity, he probably needs some more consistent consequences for his poor behavior. It takes a lot of effort to discipline a child who is intent on breaking rules constantly! You have to be right there, every time, presenting a logical consequence for the misbehavior. Ideally, it should be the same consequence for the same behavior, as much as possible, so the child doesn't become confused.

Taking the couch cushions apart is a nuisance in our house. I know it's not a big deal, not terribly destructive, but for me it's a rule nonetheless. If my toddler takes those cushions off, she knows that she won't be allowed to get on the furniture for a while. If she does climb back on, she'll have a time-out because she's not respecting the first consequence. A big one for us is drawing on the walls. If she draws on the walls or furniture with a pencil or crayon, the pencil/crayons will be taken away, and she has to help me scrub the marks off. (This is my almost 3 y/o, by the way, so your 4 y/o should be well capable of helping to clean up most of his messes!)

It takes a lot of time and energy to supervise, direct, redirect, redirect again... ;) and to DISCIPLINE children, but if you put the effort in to give your child definite limits and enforce those limits consistently, they learn that EVERYTHING has limits, and eventually learn not to push those limits on EVERY thing, every time.

Try setting up a loose daily routine, and a couple of hard and fast rules & consequences, and stick to them for a couple of weeks. If you do this consistently, you will see a drastic improvement in your child's behavior in a short time, and you can start to look at all of the areas of your day that could use a little more structure to them. You can look at all of your discipline issues, and begin to apply more consistency and logical consequences in each circumstance. Maybe once you improve the destructive behaviors, you'll realize that bedtime is a horrible ordeal every night, and it's time to move onto that next, incorporating a consistent bedtime routine, and a strategy for dealing with problems once you begin following that routine.

It's not all about consistency and discipline, though-- there's a very important thing you can do starting now that will also have a dramatic effect on your child-- praise him when he's being good! Not just for out-of-the-ordinary good behavior, but regular, ordinary good behavior, too. "I like the way you're sitting still watching the movie!" "Good job trying to wipe up that spill!" (as he's smearing it around, probably making a worse mess than he started with... LOL) "Your pictures are so much prettier on paper than on the walls-- now I can hang this one on the fridge! Good job!" It may sound corny, but it's just as important as the other stuff, because supposedly it takes about 10 compliments or positive remarks to cancel out just ONE negative one. Or look at it the opposite way-- it only takes one negative comment to undo all of the praise you've given. That's a lot of negativity at the end of the day! So practice praising, not mushy-gooey overdone praises, just simple comments of appreciation, noticing the small details and victories along the way.

I hope this helps some. I'm not trying to be judgemental, because I too find myself falling into periods where I'm not consistent or involved enough, and sure enough, my kids take full advantage and start behaving more wildly and unpredictably until I recognize the pattern and restore order.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 9

breaking a lamp ? wow . I have a 4 year old & for the first few months it was terrible 4s!

Answer 10

I have the same problem. My son is 3 years old and he is very hyper and i just want to know if he is ADHD or is it just me and my nerves or what i am in the same boat.! I always thought that my son was the only one that does this at this age but i guess not i am so glad lol.!!

i am going to go INSANE

Answer 11

I don't think that sounds like a normal 4 year olds behavior. Obviously the child has some aggression issues and they need to be acknowledged. You need to discuss with your child what is appropriate behavior and what is not. If your child is so energetic it's time to find a different way to release that energy. i.e. parks, walks, gymnastics, play groups, games, etc. Please put your foot down now before it's too late.