Looking for ANSWERS on a QUESTION most won't understand?

Question

Most of us have had boy/girlfriends and are jealous when they cheat. Somehow people feel that when their g/bf cheat that it means their g/bf doesn't love them. Why do people get jealous just because of something physical? What does having sex with someone else have to do with how much you love another person? I just don't understand why having sex with another person means that I care any less about the person that I am with. OPINIONS PLEASE

Answer 1

If you and your partner come to an agreement about what is acceptable outside of your relationship, then I think it's perfectly fine to not be monogamous. What hurts when someone cheats is the lying. It's the feeling that someone is playing you for a fool and that they don't care enough about you to just be honest about their feelings/needs. And not all cheating situations are just physical either. You may not feel that having sex with someone else means that you're betraying your partner emotionally, but lots of people cannot/don't separate the physical from the emotional. The idea of the person you love laughing, cuddling and having fun in the bed of someone else can be hard for a lot of people to stomach. If you and your partner both AGREE about how you feel about non-monogamy and sex as something purely physical, then by all means, have your fun!

Answer 2

Yes, a very ancient and provocative question. One with answers as different as the people answering. I heard a similar question on the radio yesterday. " Is it expected that the man in a relationship have more sexual partners before he settles down than the woman?" " and "If the woman has had more sexual partners than the man, does it matter?" Strange?!? " How many different sexual partners could a woman have before she is considered slutty?" I think the consensus was 15 max for the woman with 15 for the man,after 15 the man is proably lying. One married woman said she had at least 60, but, only told her husband about 8 of them. (she said he was upset about the 8). For me, the whole sexual thing is like the atomic bomb. It is like the most powerful force in the universe that two (man&woman) can experience together. So yes I can honestly say I would be jealous. I guess I am old school that way. If you are still having other sexual partners it could mean that you are not ready to settle down with that one. It doesnt' mean that you don't care about him and/or his feelings. I always cared about the women I have slepted with, but, I'm married now and just give all my undivided attention to her. I like it and it's fun. You have just got to figure out if your sexuality is special enough to share with that one and only, and maybe you will find you care more about being a couple. Good luck! Remember, nobody is perfect so try not to be to hard on yourself , or let anyone else make you feel any less human.

Answer 3

When you are in a relationship with someone, normally you are with that person because you want to be with them and only them. When you have sex with someone else that is a betrayal to the person you are with, it is not purely physical to them. People have feelings and when you love a person and they cheat on you, that effects the relationship deeply. The person trusts you NOT to do that to them. It's not a so much jealousy as it is hurt. The person broke that trust with you that you gave them. Not understanding this means you don't truely understand love and how to give it. Would it bother you if someone did this to you that you were in a relationship with? Or would you be able to ignore it and say it was just something physical?

Answer 4

Most people were taught that "when two people love one another" they have sex. And that sex is not a causal thing that should only be done with someone that you love and care about and want to spend the rest of your life with. Again this is from "the talk" so when you are taught these morals it is hard to accept your bf/gf cheating on you and not take it personal becuase they you are wondering "what did i do to make them want to cheat on me?" Just my opinion

Answer 5

Sex to some people is something special that is shared between couples. to go around and sleep with other people does not make what you have special. It can also make someone feel that they are not good enough. Its a bad feeling to be on that side of the court. If you have had that done to you then maybe you would understand and if it does not bother you then let a person know what you are about before they get involved

Answer 6

My opinion is that...not all sex is just physical...it's a physical bond that we also put some sort of emotion to it...not necessarily love...but maybe because it makes us happy. I'd also say it's something that we share with those that we trust, with those that we want to have fun with but at the same time share that certain moment that you don't just go out and share with everyone. It's true....just because you cheat...it doesn't ALWAYS mean you don't love them....but that's the catch..we don't want to share..and sex is something ppl usually are very possesive are. We want to be the one and only, the best, and if we feel our lover needs to get it elsewhere, we get threatened, and when we feel threatened we feel unloved and jealous. It's human nature!

Answer 7

I dont agree with you..its not just sex but its the emitonal part..if you love your GF or BF then theres is no one else that you will want to be with..my guy cheated and when i confronted him he lied about it..I honestly do not believe that he loves me..because if he did then he would not want other women or desire other women..when you truly love someone you want only that person and making love with that person satisfy you..now if you are not satisfy then you will look else where..where is the love then..i have been with my guy for almost two years and i have never dreamt about being with another man..but i guess he doesnt feel the same way..he needs to have sex with other women and lie about it when i know the truth..i am glad to see that men feel strongly about sex with one partner and its about a bond that you share..so i am asking my boyfriend if he truly loves me..but i think i know the answer..how can you sleep with someone and lie and continue to lie when i know the truth..ha

Answer 8

It depends on how the two of you set up the relationship. If you set things up open and loose, you should be able to have sex with other people without hurting your partner, but you still have to be careful. The big word is respect--if you respect your boyfriend enough to not make him look stupid for dating you, he could be as happy with an open relationship as you are.

If you'd go out with a bunch of friends and ditch him to pick up another guy, you are going to give him a bad night and a lot of people asking him why he bothers with you. But if you arrange to see your other boyfriends in a way that doesn't make him look stupid, he might enjoy this freedom. Of course, not all men (or women) are capable of that. If you led him to believe that he was the only one for a few months and then try to open up the relationship, it will make him feel like he isn't enough for you and that you are trying to trade up and get a better boyfreind, without doing him the courtesy of letting him go first.

Untraditional relationships are tricky, and require more openess and honesty than ordinary ones. You also have to find people to date who feel the same as you do about sex--if they hold it sacred, you are just a dirty girl to them. Also, you have to draw all of the boundaries in the relationship, usually with specific conversations, since you have decided to abandon everyone else's rules. With respect, tact, empathy, and communication, you may be able to pull it off, but it will be a lot more work than most people put into their relationships.

Answer 9

OK what would you do if someone you were with as in long term type relationship were to go off and sleep with your best friend or someone such as a brother. How would you feel? Most ppl. would be very upset b/c not only were most ppl taught sex is suppose to be with one person who you love and care about etc.. but the person you are with your suppose to trust as well otherwise there is no relaationship at least a good stable one. however by your question i see you havnt been in a relationship you had someone you actually cared about.

Answer 10

Most people view sex as something intimate, something to be shared only with someone you love and trust. While you may not feel that way, you have to understand that MOST people DO. So, when you cheat on someone, you're telling them that your relationship with them is meaningless.
There has to be SOMETHING sacred in a relationship, some part of yourself that you don't share with just everyone.
Maybe sharing your views on sex with your partner BEFORE you get into a relationship will avoid heartbreak when you can't stay faithful.