American Flag dispute!?

Question

Ok, I need some advise, from some of you please. My boyfriend and I recently purchased our first home (my mom also lives w/ us) - He hung up an american flag in the front of the house a few weeks ago, and my mom decided to take it upon her self to take the flag down. My boyfriend came home, saw that it was down, asked her,and she said yes I hate it, its disrespctful having it hung up all the time like that..Than he came up to tell me that he was pretty pissed off. So, today I told my mom that he was upset and it needs to go back up etc.and wanted to know her reasoning.. she said she grew up putting the flag up in the morning, and taking it down in the evening, foldign it up every day the proper way etc..and she thinks that regardless if we are at war it is disrespectful to have it hung all day and night be it rain or shine. She also just hates the look of it where it is at, and thinks it looks trashy. He wants it up all the time. What SHOULD I DO? they are both mad, and i'm in midd

Answer 1

Your mother is correct on the etiquette. I lived across the street from an elderly lady and her husband who were both vets. Every morning they displayed the flag and every evening took it down complete with the entire proper way of folding it. It was very moving. We always knew something was wrong when that flag wasn't out. I will never forget the reverence in which they folded the flag and presented it to me when my father died. When you are raised showing that kind of respect it should be a wake-up call for those who think the flag doesn't mean much to Americans or that it's "no big deal". See if you can find a solar spotlight. That will please your mom when you prove it's still proper and husband because he can have the flag out all the time and she'll just have to deal with where it's hung. It is your home.

Answer 2

Check proper flag ettiquite. If the flag is to be hung up all the time, there has to be a light on it at night. My father-in-law put a big flagpole up in his front yard with a light on a timer, so the flag has a light on it. It flies rain or shine. I take mine in at night, and do not fly it when it rains, mostly because I don't want it destroyed. However, it is up every other day. Your mom and boyfriend are going to have to come to some common ground. I think there may be more issues going on besides the flag. Also, mom does need to back off a little. The flag being flown is NEVER trashy. It is your house, and if he wants to fly the flag, as long as he is observing proper rules, then he should fly the flag.

Answer 3

If the flag has a light on it (like a spot light or porch light at night) I think its alright to have it up all the time. We fly ours all the time and it is illuminated at night. There is no way the American flag would ever look trashy . It should not be torn or ragged but our flag never looks trashy. Id find mom a new place to live. (no disrespect )

Answer 4

Although your mother is right in theory about the flag, It is considered ok to leave a flag out day and night to show your support of the country. But the big thing is this is your house, so you can do what you want to do as long as it is legal and dosn't hurt anyone. As I see it, if she is this way over the flag, she will probably be causing problems for you on other things as well..

Answer 5

Well, if it is your and your husband's home, it is your and your husband's decision about what looks 'trashy'. I think the people in Beverly Hills who have flags on their houses would be a bit surprised by the 'trashy' comment, but then my grandmother always did say Beverly Hills was 'new money', so who knows...

I never thought our flag was 'trashy'.

It is a fact that the flag is not supposed to fly without a light on it, but some people get around this by having a 'solar powered solar switch' flood light on theirs at night. You can get them at a good hardware store. You can suggest that. I suspect your mother will think that is even worse, if she thinks the flag is 'trashy' to begin with, but it would solve the flag etiquette problem.

Good luck!

Answer 6

First of all, how does the flag look "trashy"? I would love to hear the answer to that.

This is the US, and if she does not want to see you flying the American flag, tell her to find another place to live.

Answer 7

Your mom has a control issue. She must have some kind of underlying issue for her to behave this way. You can hang a flag day/night rain/shine as long as it's illuminated. But if it gets tattered, it needs to be replaced.

Answer 8

Your mom sounds like she is around my age, and I feel the same way she does about the flag. However, she is living with you and your husband. I would recomend you take your husbands side on this one. It is his home. And remind your mom, that the American flag looks great no matter where it hangs and never looks trashy. Give your mom a hug. She is just trying to gain a little control back. Being a mom myself, control is hard to give up.

Answer 9

Your mother is correct in terms of etiquette. In order for the flag to be flown all the time, a light has to be on it at night. Otherwise the flag has to be taken down at sunset, folded properly and then placed back on the pole at sunrise.

Answer 10

Flag etiquette says that you should take it down at night except in times of war...but the flag must be lit up at night if it is to be left up.

House etiquette: Whose house is it? If this is your mom's house, she has every right to decide where/when things like this go up/down. If she is staying with you guys in your home, you should probably to tell her to respect your boyfriend's authority in his own home.