my boyfriend and i just broke up today and im not sure if it is for the right reasons. we dated for one year and for about 75% of the time things were pretty good. but there were times when he would make me feel horrible (about sex) and swear and call me bad names (stuff im not really used to in a relationship). i had thought about breaking up with him here and there but couldnt becuase i loved him and he is my first everything. but then other people started telling me that i deserved better. and other guys told me that not all guys treat girls like that. did i break up with him becuase i wanted to or becuase other people told me to. im stuggling wondering if have made the right choice. my boyfriend is very upset and says he loves me more than anything. did i do the right thing?
2007-03-08 03:34:24 · 15 answers · asked by Becky L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we almost broke up over how i felt like crap sometimes, and the way he talks down to me be he swore he would stop and begged me to stay. he was better for a while but there are still times when he reverts back to talking down to me. and its been happening alot lately.
2007-03-08 03:46:10 · update #1
You did the right thing. Don't look back. When tempted don't think about the 75%, remember the 25%.(The bad times wehn he treated you horribly) Guys shouldn't treat you like that at all, even when you are fighting or upset. You made the right choice and it was a strong decision. Stick to it. Cut off contact from your ex.
2007-03-08 03:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, if this guy made you feel bad about sex and called you names.. then YOU should have WANTED to break up with him. Sometimes it takes other people to see what you can't. Love and I know this first hand, blinds you to some of the most obvious things. Take advise from people looking in.. they may and always see something you don't. And there are guys if they really love you, that would never make you feel bad about sex and to call you names is straight up disrespectful in any relationship. Don't get back with this guy. if he's like this with you now, it often gets worse before it gets better. I know. Been there and stayed for 6 yrs. left and glad I left and never looked back.
2007-03-08 03:44:51 · answer #2 · answered by candyred1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is your decision because you are in the relationship. If other people were in the relationship they could make the decisions. I would suggest that you talk to him and tell him that you love him, but you do not like being called bad names and him making you feel bad about sex. Tell him there are many men out that would treat you the way you want to be treated. Tell him that you want the 75% of the time to be 100% of the time in the relationship. Grant it we all have our faults and there will always be arguments of some sort, but he should not be calling you names and getting mad over you about sex!! If he cant treat you right then YOU need to make the decision whether to stay with him or not. Remember that name calling can lead to other things possibly abuse, but NOT always!!! Good luck!!
2007-03-08 03:41:37 · answer #3 · answered by AB 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you didn't want to break up with him, you wouldn't have. And what other people were saying to you was right. You shouldn't be in a relationship that is anything less than perfect, because as a person you deserve to be treated well. I think you made the right choice. I watch my female friends stay in abusive relationships for all the wrong reasons, and I'm glad you got out. So stay out, and find someone worthwhile that will treat you like a woman worthy of respect and honour.
2007-03-08 03:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by Erin G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its a tough call there. if you are with someone and at any time they make you feel like you are saying then i think you may have done the right thing. just go somewhere alone where you can really look deep within your soul to see how you really feel. give yourself a few weeks or more to let it settle and see how it goes. i know about being with someone that you have all the 1st with. i myself married the 2nd guy i dated i was in my early 20s but i was still a virgin and all. i wanted to wait until i got married to have all those 1sts. you can think about your situation like this you found someone you love and now you lost them, well in time if yall happen to get back together, well they say if its true love and meant to be love will always find a way back to the heart of the love. whatever you do in life make sure its what you want and not others. and good luck.
okay i just read the additional response you left-
yes you have done the right thing and please don't go back to him. think about it if he's controlling now as a b/f what will he be if say yall got married? think about it all and theres plenty of good fish in the sea that's not contaminated.
2007-03-08 03:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by willwork4u2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, you really can't always listen to what others tell you. You need to know why they care so much about it. On the other hand, someone that really cares about you doesn't want you to be with someone that isn't going to treat you the way you should be treated. Other guys may just be wanting you to break up so they will have a chance to get with you. Your bf calling you names and stuff isn't a way for a man to treat someone that he loves more than anything. I'd say if you really want it to work, tell him how he makes you feel when he does those things and that they need to stop. If they don't, and it's hard to change a person, then stay away from him.
2007-03-08 03:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda N 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, honey... you did.
You NEVER want to be with someone who makes you feel horrible or degrades you in any way. He may very well love you and you might love him but there's a difference between loving someone and tolerating them because the relationship is easy/comfortable.
Sounds like he's a scum bag. You did the right thing. And trust me, from very recent experience, you WILL find the right guy who will genuinely love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Best of luck to you. Keep your head up.
2007-03-08 03:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by Winette 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You think you love this man, because you had sex with him. You did not make the right choice by sleeping with him, before knowing who he really was... but you absolutely made the right choice by breaking up with him. You are doing what is right. You are a wonderful person and can do MUCH better than that.
2007-03-08 03:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes you need an outsiders opinion, an unbiased opinion to show you how badly you were being treated.
Regardless of the reason that others told you what to be done, it was done for the right reason.
Forexample: a drug addict will never quit until someone intercedes to stop them. Its all for the best.
2007-03-08 03:39:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing. He's already showed you who he is. No matter what he tells you right now, if you take him back he will just go back to abusing you the way he used to. You can find better. Forget him and move on.
2007-03-08 03:39:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋