How do I go about asking my bridesmaids to pay for their dresses?

Question

Now that I have established that traditionally bridesmaids buy their own dresses...I dont know if the ladies I have asked are expecting to buy their own dresses or if their thinking I'm buying them. How do I find out who they thinks going to buy the dresses?

Answer 1

It's pretty much understood that bridesmaids buy their dresses, but you could carefully broach the subject by mentioning you found dresses you like and ask them what their budgets are.

Answer 2

Have a small meeting. Give the bridesmaids a checklist. Break it down, things they will do and what they will have to pay for. To be fair to them try to find inexpensive options. B/t $75 and 110$ is resonable. Also consider shoes and the cost of dying them and dress alterations. Jewlery shoud be on you. They should expect to spend at least $300 for the big day. If they are your good friends this should not even matter and they will probably be honered to be a part of your big day. There is no way they can expect to be and your wedding and not spend a dime! Just make sure you give them enough notice about projected costs so can save up if they have to! Make sure that your gift to them reflects your apprection. Word from the wise: The more bridesmaid you have the more expensive it will be for you! Don't lwt anyone dictate your day other than you!

Answer 3

Now that you have established what? You start the conversation by saying, the dresses I like cost $xx, will you be able to afford that? You could also have the conversation by calling together all the girls (you buy the pizza or salads) and talk about expectations. Traditionally, the maid or matron of honor is responsible for helping you the most. She runs interference with annoying relatives, watches for flaws in your makeup, hair (and tells you about them), fixes the train and can help you be in two places at once. She is also supposed to be a friend who can encourage you and support you through the stress of wedding planning. The rest of the attendants often are asked to help with making shower favors, decorating, wrapping gifts, shopping (not paying just picking out or picking up), greeting people, taking care of the guest book, seating charts, candle set up, centerpieces, (well you get the idea).....so sit down and find out what skills and expectations they have. Some will want to participate more than others....Oh, and as for the dress, you need to discuss the whole cha-bang.... are you expecting them to buy special shoes, accessories or have their hair a certain way? Are you paying for those things? Will you buy the jewelry as an attendant gift? Can they wear their own shoes? You and your maid of honor can figure out a lot of the details first...then get together and talk it out....you will save yourself a lot of headaches. Also, give them a gracious way to back out....if you didn't make it clear when you asked not everyone may have the $$$ necessary to participate. Look at a few dresses and get an idea of the kind of money you are expecting them to spend. Keep in mind, they will also be giving up their time to attend pre-wedding events and probably be busy with you most of the weekend of your wedding, its a big commitment. God Bless

Answer 4

I think most people just know these days when they are asked that they'll have to purchase the dresses themselves. Just get them all together once you pick out the dresses you want them to wear and have like a little lunch or something and tell them the date of the first fitting and where to go and let them know what the cost is going to be and that they will probably have to pay for it at the first fitting. Or you could just send an email to all of them. Just be up front about it. That's what my friend did with all of us that are in her wedding so that there are no surprises. One girl backed out ahead of time cause she didn't think she'd be able to do all the brides maid stuff and pay for a dress & she didn't like the dresses and everything.

Answer 5

When I was a bridesmaid, I guess it was just automatically assumed. Do you already have styles picked out? Let them know the styles, the price range, what's included in the price (I know when I've had to buy bridesmaid dresses in the past, the shops have thrown in dyed to match shoes). I'd really be surprised if any of your bridesmaids came up clueless that they were supposed to pay for their own.

Answer 6

I have been in several wedding and when the bride decided what dresses she wanted us to wear she told us what store had them how much they were and i went in and bought my dress. If the wedding party all goes to the same shop usually they will do a group discount.

Every wedding that I have been in I would have never expected the bride to pay for my dress. I know that there are a lot of other expenses that they are going to have and I should feel honored that I was asked to be a special part of it.

Answer 7

go dress shopping with them, and let them pick a dress that is in their price range. or if you picked a dress already, tell them oh, the bridesmaids dresses are $100 and the payment is due at time of order. that way they will catch on they have to pay. most people already know that they are responsible for paying for their own dresses.

Answer 8

Generally girls expect to have to buy their own dresses. I would simply call each one of them up, and tell them that you're expecting them to pay for their dresses, shoes, whatever--hair appointments, makeup, etc. If they have a problem with that, now is the time to tell you, not 2 weeks before the wedding. Communication is the best policy here. Be up front and honest with them, and they'll be fine. Problems happen when people don't communicate effectively. Good luck!

Answer 9

Hopefully you have a few dresses in mind, let them help you decide. I know lots of girls that dont mind buying the dresses if they can think of something else they might be able to wear that dress too .... Also it is traditional for them to buy their own dresses. Have them over for lunch to look at the dresses you picked out , then just be like " how much can you guys aford?"

Answer 10

The weddings I was in, the brides purchased the dresses. Well one of them, her mother in law was a seamstress. I excpected to pay my own, but they used the dresses as our bridal party gifts. It really works out when you pick out a dress everyone loves, and they can wear it on more then one occasion. If you don't have the money to do it this way, as I know my friends parents' are well off, then just tell them they need to go to the bridal shop the dresses are in before this date to get measured and make their purchases. Don't even tell them they aren't obligated to be in the bridal party...that is just heartless!!! I don't think its fair for someone NOT to be able to have that honor if they really can't afford the dress. Offer to loan them money if you have the resources, or ask someone if they could and try to make it work, or pick out a cheaper dress.

Answer 11

That is a hard question. I actually didn't know that they paid for their own but that could be because I've only been to a couple weddings in my life and I wasn't really close to the people. If you don't want to ask in person, you could mail them all notes telling them something like you are surveying to see what their range overall is moneywise for the dresses. I don't know any other nice way to say "you have to buy a dress to be in my wedding."