My dad (doctor) said, "Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom, and/ or have a drink of water. Water, not soda or juice, because it hydrates the best." Well, my controlling husband wouldn't allow any of this, so I'd keep a box of Tic-Tacs in my pocket and slip one of them between my lips (you can do that with your mouth closed), and sucking on it would give me a few minutes to calm down and think about what really would be the wisest thing to do or say next.
And incidentally, when that controlling (screaming) husband went on the Pritikin diet, (low fat), his temper fits completely went away! (And, they came back when we went to visit relatives and he started eating the way he used to, again.)
2007-03-08 03:37:32
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answer #1
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answered by shirleykins 7
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You just need to calm down during those stressfull times. Take a deep breath and relax before dealing with the problem. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Try and find one small positive thing instead of focusing on all of the negative ones.If this means you need to leave the room for a second then do it. As long as you try, and are putting some effort into it you are making improvement. Even try not yelling your thoughts. Talk about the problems " This is why I am mad' etc Louder is not better. People are more apt to listen to quiet talking then someone yelling. I hope this helps. it is not a problem that is easily solved over night. it takes work but it can be done. Good luck and Good health to you.
2007-03-08 03:42:35
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Try not to just snap. Try to take a deep breath and think before you speak. I'm still working on this at 50!! It's hard to control anger and not just jump someones a** and swear and get outta control. Be firm & tactful with the situation and don't back down but be as respectful as you can and the person will still know you are angry. Just get the point across anger just pisses you off more anyway!
2007-03-08 06:58:38
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answer #3
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answered by Kat 5
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I am a member of AA and have been now for 10+yrs.
Part of "recovery" is changing defects of character. . .those things in a person that cause us problems.
Anger/Rage is one of my character defects.I can tend to throw temper trantrums and at the age of 54 I look pretty foolish.
I began to realize this and I got on the phone and called another AA member who have over 30yrs of "recovery" and we talked through the situation. for hours . . always good to get an impartial person to discuss things with,also someone who will call your BS and not let you get by with excuses for your behavior and you HAVE to be willing to see where they are right about your behavior.
Sometimes this process does hurt emotionally but in the end it helps you. . . . .Rigorous honesty on your part helps the changing process.
As the talk went on it was figured out/pointed out that I tend to do this when things don't go my way or the way I think it should go.
Bottom line is that I do this when I feel that I am not in control of something.
I call my anger behavior "A Case of the Pissies" and when I feel the "Case of the Pissies" coming on me I go to another room and ask myself . . . . "Is this something I HAVE to be in control of"?
Often times I get in too big of a hurry to get something done or to get somewhere and in doing so I lose my patience and the "Pissies" overcome me so I also have to give myself enough time for getting places and I need to realize that I sometimes my impatience has cost me more than time.
When you feel the "Pissies" coming on,TRY to remember to take a deep breath and ask yourself. . . . Do I need to be in control of this situation?
When you feel the "Pissies" coming on,TRY to remember to take a deep breath and tell yourself. . . . I don't know everything.
You start on this in this manner and I think you will begin to see a difference and you can find ways of your own to stay calm.
You won't do this perfect and since you won't,it is very important that as soon as you have verbally hurt someone you need to make things right and take that as a learning experience and see where things went wrong and TRY to do better during the next situation.
I say TRY because PROGRESS in the matter is more important than PERFECTION in the matter.
Quit hurting people with your behavior and quit making yourself look like the fool I look and looked like and I promise you will begin to really feel better about yourself and you will be better liked.
2007-03-08 03:50:31
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answer #4
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answered by Just Q 6
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Before the emotion, there is always a thought.
To see this, you really have to slow down when you think about how it all happens, the process.
What makes you angry, and why? State that in a sentence.
Then, you may have to ask yourself why again,and consider whether or not what you believe/ think is reasonable.
2007-03-08 03:37:32
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answer #5
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answered by Jed 7
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