I love her dont get me wrong but I dont know what to do about my life.Yes I know I just said my life & Im an adult, but Im scared.I wanted to major in Biochemistry/ Premedicine, but my mind has changed & she told me if I do decide to change my mind it's okay but every time she tells me it's okay she turns it around when I do what she said I could do.For ex.: If I choose to be a nurse, she'll say well didn't you say you didn't want to work below anyone? & then I'll feel bad about my decision.I don't want her to look the the evil witch in my life but I want her to understand me instead of revenging on me for my decisions.She got upset w/ me b/c I got a credit card then she turns around & later on tells me lets work out the dept situation we are both in & opens my mail/statements.@ times I see her living her life through me. She says she isn't. I don't know what to do. I want to come home from the university Im @ to the university's branch near home but I don't know to tell her.
2007-03-08 03:11:56 · 6 answers · asked by BitterSweet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I dont know what to say. It seems you are in a very tricky situation. Just let your heart guide you, and do what you need to do, without being afraid of the after effects.
2007-03-08 03:19:17 · answer #1 · answered by B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with mom.
Is she trying to live your life for you? Sure. That's what parents do. They want to try and protect you and prevent you from making the same mistakes that they've made.
The important thing is to tell her how her comments make you feel. If she realizes that it's causing you distress she may stop.
If she doesn't stop, you still have to make it clear that your life is still yours.
And it's OK not to know what you want to do for a career. I've graduated and I still don't know what I want to be "when I grow up."
Best of luck.
2007-03-08 11:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by spamovision 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know who's paying for your education, but it really shouldn't matter - it's YOUR future. As long as you're respectful towards your parents, staying out of trouble, and getting good grades, I would think your mother would just be happy you're GOING to college! I work at a university - students change their majors until they find something they truly enjoy doing. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't let her lay a guilt trip on you - parents are supposed to support their children and love them unconditionally. One day, they'll be dead and you'll HAVE to be independent. Might as well start now. If you're a responsible young woman, it's time for her to let go. (If your not, then I can understand your mother's anxieties.)
Let me tell you a (true) story - then perhaps you can use it to put things in perspective for your mother. Our youngest daughter went off to college after graduating from high school. She started off well, but it turned out she was not emotionally mature enough to handle it. By the time mid-terms rolled around, she was skipping classes and partying her little butt off. (We had no idea.) She came home for Christmas at the end of the quarter - we still had no clue that there were problems, thanks to FERPA. (Our money was paying for it, but what was going on was none of our business according to federal govt regulations) She went to FL to visit a friend after Christmas, but didn't come home when she was supposed to. While she was gone, we found out she'd been put on academic probation. (I opened mail from the college thinking it was going to be our bill for the following semester.) She did not re-enroll for the next quarter because WE refused to shell out another $5,000 just for her to go to college parties. She came home a couple of weeks later and finally told us that she was pregnant. YEP! I got a new grandbaby (who I wouldn't trade for the world) for our $5,000 college investment. We were heartbroken that she lied to us for so long. She is still not a responsible young woman, but I have seen some changes in her recently that lets me know she's headed in that direction. She's almost 22, so all I can do is pray for her and be there for my grandbaby. Your mother has to learn to let go and let God.
2007-03-08 11:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your scared of your mother ? These are all your decisions for your life, get out from under that thumb of hers. she has no power over you or your life.Iits all in your mind, the mind that she controlled for so long. No parent in the world has the authority to tell a student what to study or how to live their life, what if she died today--what would you do? Think about it, and then proceed with those decisions. A parent's job is to help if needed, her job of telling you what to do is long over.
2007-03-08 11:51:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound close to your mom and sounds like you miss her to. Take her out to a nice coffee shop and tell her from your heart that your confused and need her to be that soft place to fall on and that your heart's desire is unclear to you right now. Tell her you love and respect her and know she just wants you to be happy ... She's your mom and your blessed to have a mom who loves you. Some mom's are mean to their girls.
You sound very compassioate and smart. you will do what your soul is telling you to do. Good Luck and remember this too shall pass.
2007-03-08 11:20:25 · answer #5 · answered by divinity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell her to let you chose your path just like she chose her own path...
2007-03-08 11:19:36 · answer #6 · answered by bomshary76 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋