My fiancee' and I split up about a month ago, we were getting married in May. We were together for 5 years and I love him dearly. He and I are in contact and we both admit we love one another. He tells me he needs to figure out who he is and is adament about the fact that we will be together one day. He is 40 and has been married twice before me and I am 28 and have been married before also. I just don't know what to do. I can't remember my life before I met him and I want him back so bad. He works 80 hours a week. Someone help. Is it a midlife crisis (Do they exsist) or a serious case of cold feet. What should I do?
2007-03-08 03:08:00 · 14 answers · asked by suckowsgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Start to find yourself again. If he really does want to be with you then he will. But, if he doesn't know WHO he is at the age of 40 you might be wasting your time. You need to show him that you know who you are and that you will and are getting on without him.
I really wish you luck and I hope that everything works out for you.
2007-03-08 03:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by Boo Boo Head 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say that you should not wait for him. I know that you love him but you have to show that you don't need him. It could be a midlife crisis, or it could be that he has a hard time getting married again after messing up twice before. The best advise I can give it to move on, but don't lose contact. Just show him you'll be okay.
2007-03-08 11:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by What Do I Know? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he split up with you then he doesn't know what he wants or can't make a commitment to you. Unfortunately you can't make him be with you but you can be a friend and see what happens. I can't understand him not being with you if he loves you. Don't expect anything else to come of it unless he can commit himself to you. If I was in love with somebody I would always work on things before splitting up. This isn't high school people can't just go around playing games by breaking up every time something happens unless you are planning not to be together at all. I think if he loved you he would be with you-just an opinion.
2007-03-08 11:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by kws504 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
80 hrs a week 40 yrs old, been married twice...or should we say will have been married three times......working 80 hrs usually means one of two things
1) he's running away from the problem of dealing with family issues by working all the time, most men unable to copy with family are like that
2) genuine desire to make difference in life for others which doesn't sound like him because then he would have taken care of the family first, like attending to your needs first.
So in real world you were just a NEW change and new change in relationships without deal with the ladder fade after awhile. I won't make the choice for you except to give you the tools to take it from there.best of luck.
2007-03-08 11:21:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is going through a midlife crisis. It looks like he has issues that he needs to resolve on his own. I would think twice before marrying him. I bet his previous marriages did not last more than five years.
2007-03-08 11:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by Kimora Miranda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on will be my best advice and look out for someone else, if he comes back to you fine if he doesn't believe me u will find a man who at age 40 has discovered all there is to discover about himself.
All the best.
2007-03-08 11:22:01 · answer #6 · answered by Naughty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he dumped you cus hes in another relationship as we speak and didnt want to cheat on you.... you should seriously move on.....your young at 28 Im sure you could find someone better than this guy that will love you no matter what!!!!
2007-03-08 11:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by c t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is gut wrenching. nobody can tell you what you should do. you will wait for him until the cows come home. i hate to ask this question...do you think he went back to his ex? or wants her back? be strong. work out, eat right and look like, who would've thought it. you will feel better about yourself and feel better in general. hope this helps. i was there once. i started dating someone else, he heard, and came back with an engagement ring. i hate this for you.
2007-03-08 11:16:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is trying to get out of this marriage. Move On
2007-03-08 11:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Lin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. If the two of you are meant to be together it will happen somehow, some way.
2007-03-08 11:13:43 · answer #10 · answered by Jen_n_TX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋