Just found out I am having a baby. I am not married and the father is Christian.?

Question

He wants to raise the child chrisrian and I do not. I am an atheist. What could be a good compromise for us????

I can't spell today.

Since everyone loves to pass judgement on someone they do not know. The father and I are planning to marry in do time. I am an atheist by experience. And please look at the numbers 95% of Americans do NOT save themselves for marriage. Did you???

Answer 1

I think that you shouldn't rush things, Don't put to much pressure on the baby, let him be baptized and then when the time comes let him/her decided if she/he wants to be christian, atheist, Mormon or bu dist, whatever she/he wants to be. Anyway at this point you should be paying attention other things more important than religion, you are going to bring a baby into the world, love your baby and at the proper time worry about this things.

Answer 2

Hm. Tough question. I am having a hard time trying to find the words to say what I am trying to say here, and probably putting it badly. I do believe in raising a child with some form of spiritual education, if for no other reason than teach the child certain basic codes of conduct and behavior, that we should all be following if religious or not, the society of a church community could provide a place where things you are trying to teach the child at home would be backed up in a more social environment. By basic codes of behavior, I mean things like "don't hit" "don't lie" "listen to your parents", stuff like that. And to provide a foundation where the child has a place to start exploring spiritually as the child will have questions about such things eventually. I don't know what you were raised with, but it seems to me that alot of athiests still have a religious education of some sort, and come to this point of view as a result of some spiritual exploration before coming to that as a choice. As the child gets older, you should explain to the child both points of view, Athiesm is valid as well, and if the child expresses an interest in learning other points of view, that should be encouraged as well. When the child is old enough to think these things through for himself, then whatever choice he makes should be respected. I guess the appropriate time would be when the child starts asking questions, to do your best to answer them. Do you plan to marry the father? That would have a bearing as well, if you plan to live together as a family, or work out some sort of deal where one or the other has custody, or shares custody. One thing for certain, is that you and the father should come to an agreement how to handle things, and present a united front to the child, and not put down the other's point of view in front of the child, or use this as some sort of weapon where one or the other of you is trying to "win" the child, so to speak, the child should have the benefit of the best education you can provide, to have a good foundation to explore from.

Answer 3

It would have been nice to figure it out ahead of time, but...

I could deal with a spouse taking the kid to church, right up to where the kid didn't want to go. Just as long as I had my say when they asked a question. They will ask if you don't go with them. Kids ask about everything.

Relationships and marriages are tough without this added pressure. It is going to be extra hard to work out now and there isn't going to be an easy answer. But you really need to try so that they can have a normal family without all the drama of moving back and forth or not seeing one at all. Good luck to you.

If you have a tough time working it out, adoption is really best for the child.

Answer 4

Hi,
I have a question for you. Why are you an atheist, and why are you opposed to raising the child in a Christian home. Sounds like the child's Father is new to his Christian walk with God. As you can see we all make bad choices, but God can even make those lead to beautiful little miracles like children. It's wonderful that Jesus paid the price for our short comings, so make the best of your new found joy, and reconsider the Christian way of life for your new child and yourself. I think you'll be very happy you did. God bless your new family.

Answer 5

My family is Catholic I, as well, am a Atheist. My mom left the decision up to my sister and I for when we were grown. If you and the father are together then maybe talk about leaving that decision to your child. And what ever you do don't let in-laws put their two cent's in. It's hard enough dealing with the father over a disagreement like that a then on top of it having his parents trying to tell you what to do with your child. Do what you believe is best for your child.

Answer 6

That shouldn't even be your first concern. If you want to be a good mother, you should be pushing for marriage. You, and your baby will need the legal protections that a marriage will provide. If the father doesn't want to marry you, then he isn't much of a Christian anyway, so what he wants isn't all that relevant. After marriage, the two of you can decide in what direction you want to raise your children. First things first. Religion won't have any impact on your children one way or another until they are out of the diapers and pullups.
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In "due time"? What is that supposed to mean? Ridiculous. If you can commit to raising a child, you can certainly commit to a legal union. I can see why the father wouldn't want to get married, but YOU have a child to protect. I suggest you push it HARD. Your "baby-daddy" doesn't sound like a Christian to me. Live up to your responsibilities and do what is best for this child!!!!! Give him/her a REAL family and REAL legal protection.

Personally, I don't care if you want to sleep around before marriage or not, but YOU asked for advice. YOU are the one airing your personal dirty laundry and asking for opinions. It's not our fault that you don't like our honest opinions.

Answer 7

First, if you just found out your pregnant you have a lot of other issues to take care of before you solve this one.

Second, this is a HUGE issue and could use serious counseling.

Third, however, I would say allow the Father to take the child to church. There is NO harm in a child growing up to believe in God. He will have a good set of morals and have someone to depend on. Whenever the child gets old enough to begin to make intellectual and spiritual decisions for himself its time for you to step in and share your beliefs. Allow the Child to make a decision for himself. In the meantime raise him in a postive enviroment where mother and daddy are working together for his/her well-being.

Church can be a very positive experience for your child. If you have any fears, attend the church, attend the Sunday School classes and Children's church and see exactly what type of LIFE LESSONS they are teaching your child.

Answer 8

Ok, time to call all of the "Pious" answeres out in public. For all those answering "If he was christian, he would not be having sex out of marriage", or something to that effect, how many of you "saved" yourselves for marriage? This isn't a time to put people down. She is pregnant, she is not a christian, he is(whether you like it or not), so let's move on.

The best thing you can do is love and care for the child. Instill in your child the joy of reading, and allow them to explore different things. The child will be born atheist, as children do not understand, or even know of, the concept of god until it is introduced to them. When they are older, allow them to choose what they want to believe, and support them in that decision. You should just encourage them to read, think for themselves, and come up with the best decision that suits them. It may be that they decide christianity is best for them. It may be atheism. Or, they could decide to be muslim, hindu, buddhist, taoist, pagan, wiccan, or one of the other belief systems of the world.

What is important is that they know that their parents love them, and are always there to support them.

Answer 9

I think you should both agree to disagree and teach the child both ways and let the child decide when old enough. Don't fight about it though. You've got different opinions and that's just fine. In fact, whatever decision the child eventually make, it will be a much more informed and thought out decision than most of us will ever make.

Answer 10

That is a tough one. By the way, if he's a Christian what's he doing knocking you up without being married??

But anyway, I think that the values a child receives growing up in the church are good so you should let him do that and then you can also spend some time teaching the child about other religions, or lack thereof, and let him make up his own mind.

Answer 11

the child will be raised however you want it to me. i know that in the catholic religion, if the father is anything but catholic but the mother is catholic, the child can still be baptized catholic. it is whatever the mother is that is the way the child is brought up. but since you are an athesit (i can not also spell today). i think you should both put your religion beliefs aside and maybe guide your child in the way you think is right, and if anyone has a different opinion, that is their problem not yours.